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Occam’s Phaser

Are you the Captain of a USS Starfleet vessel? Or perhaps you’re a ruggedly handsome intergalactic drug smuggler with an oversized teddy bear as your inexplicable best friend?

If so, I’m ready to bet that you’ve got to face either Romulan hordes or legions of imperial stormtroopers from time to time. And, if experience is anything to go by, I’ll bet 2 hours on the holodeck/a pint of Newky Brown in Mos Eisley that you’ve had phaser issues from time to time resulting in perilously close shaves.

Worry no longer. Thanks to the technological wizardry of European scholasticism, we can proudly bring you Occam’s Phaser. Highly efficient, it regularly outperforms all other phasers in triple-blind tests.

So, whether you’re a Jean-Luc or a Han Solo, don’t multiply those missed shots beyond necessity. Get Occam’s Phaser today!

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SpecGram Vol CLXXXIII, No 2 Contents