SpecGram Archives



Tired of going through the archives looking for the very best articles? Buy the book instead! Lazy satirical linguists prefer The Speculative Grammarian Essential Guide to Linguistics! (Now available as a PDF, too!)

A word from our Senior Archivist, Holger Delbrück:

While bringing aging media to the web and hence the world is truly a labor of love, SpecGram tries the passion of even the most ardent admirer. Needless to say, we’ve fallen behind schedule. At every turn, the authors found in the pages of this hallowed journal stretch credibility with their gratuitous font mongeringfirst it was the IPA, then a few non-standard transcription systems, then Greek, and not just the alphabet, but the entire diacritical mess, and now I’ve got some god-forsaken Old Church Slavonic glyph sitting on my desk that no one can even name, and which would give the Unicode Consortium fits! In print, we could handle thisI have a MacBook Pro, for crying out loud! But this is the web people, get a clue you motherless linguistic abber

Now a short prepared statement from our new Senior Archivist, Rasmus Gauthiot:

Transitioning SpecGram to the web is challenging, no doubt, but our team is dedicated to this compelling work, and the synergy of the web and the proud traditionality SpecGram embodies will no doubt leverage an impactful return on our emotional and fiscal investment. Go Team!

And for those actually looking for the Archives...


Currently Available Issues


Speculative Grammarian:


Volume CLXXIX, Number 4 (October 2017)

On BimonthlyA Letter from the Editor-in-Chief

Letters to the Editor

/nuz baɪts/Linguist Discovers Alternative Source of Energy at Conference

Linguimericks, Etc.Book ४४

From the Archives!SpecGram Propaganda XIIIThe SpecGram Archive Elves™

O, Apostrophe!Anita G. Gorman

On Ergative-RelativityI. N. Stein

L.U.R.V.E. is a BattlefieldHow the Internet Ruins Everything AcronymsPat ben Ātar

The Gropes of Academe: Scenes of the Modern Academy Shadow-Boxing with Itself with One HandNigel Cornelius Blumscote-Haverford

Linguistic LingerieAdvertisement

Post ScriptChip Carver


Volume CLXXIX, Number 3 (August 2017)

Dear Readers...A Letter from Over(t)ly Sentimental Editor Szerető Ljúbjaščij

Letters to the Editor

/nuz baɪts/

Linguimericks, Etc.Book ४३

WhingeZarfu

They Have a Word for ThatAnita G. Gorman

A More Interesting Observation Than You a ResponseAloysius Vinicius Perle

1001 Ways to Troll LinguistsA FragmentR. Key O’Logist & Pei-Li O’Logist

Childhood Phonology Exposure Causes Bilabial Trills at BreakfastPhineas Phlegmson & Raz Berrie

From the Archives!SpecGram Propaganda XIIThe SpecGram Archive Elves™

Some Aspects of the Counting System of NappaholihokDarren Traming

On the Interpreting Ability of Non-Human Members of Kingdom AnimaliaProf Trent Slater & Dr Imma Gauld-Fishe

Grammaticalization of and Generalizations to What’s-PRO-Face Among Annoying Pre-TeensHelgi von Helganschtein Searsplainpockets & Claudette von Helganschtein Searsplainpockets

Rasmus Rask Mini Puzzle VILila Rosa Grau


Volume CLXXIX, Number 2 (June 2017)

You Win Some, You Lose SomeA Letter from Associate Editor Mikael Thompson

Letters to the Editor

Linguimericks, Etc.Book ४२Triolet: The Grudge Match

On the Proper Form of Authorial AdjectivesSkip Rufus Fuller

A Natural History of the WugRodabaugh Venditto

From the Archives!SpecGram Propaganda XIThe SpecGram Archive Elves™

How Many Languages Do You Speak?Nate F. Spee-Curr & Nonné Divz Bīīqr

The Language PoliceAnita G. Gorman

The Γραμματο-Χαοτικον Long-Term Care Facility for Decommissioned Mad Social ScientistsAdvertisement

L’Ishing du Gwujlang XLusrveerDorothea Dorfman and Theodora Mundorf


Volume CLXXIX, Number 1 (May 2017)

For the Computational LinguistsA Letter from the Editor-in-Chief

Letters to the Editor

/nuz baɪts/

Macron to Face Le Pen in French ElectionSpecGram Wire Services

Linguistics Nerd CampBethany Carlson

LinguimericksBook ४१

A Sample of Self-DefinersEt Cetera, Et CeteraThe SpecGram Book Elves™

From the Archives!SpecGram Propaganda XThe SpecGram Archive Elves™

Research That CountsGnoo Merrill & Kwan T. Ti

New Children’s Programming from SpecGram TV

Review of New Approaches to HedgingRonald Rona-Ramalita

A Semi-Diagonal Latin SquareUlfheðnar ber Sarkur



Volume CLXXVIII, Number π (Mid-April 2017)

Special Supplemental Letter from the Editor-at-BatButch McBastard

Pseudo-Psiblings™And Other Views of Multiply-Blended FamiliesTrey Jones

On Pseudo-PsiblingsA Good Start in Need of Significant Linguistic Improvements Which We Have Undertaken and Are Here to Report OnFillastre Pèl-Roig, Belle-Fille Rousse, Hijastro Pelirrojo, Rauðaz Khæran Steupa-Kiltham, Rotkopf Stiefkind, Punatukkainen Tytärpuoli, and Vörös Hajú Mostohagyerek


Volume CLXXVIII, Number 4 (April 2017)

Important Issues in Linguistics—A Letter from the Editor-at-Bat—Butch McBastard

Letters to the Editor

The Chaos—Gerard Nolst Trenité

Conference Report—The Third International Conference on Tone—Lev L. Falls

A Sample of Self-DefinersRhetorical & Poetic Devices and Figures of Speech: Part II—The SpecGram Book Elves™

From the Archives!SpecGram Propaganda IX—The SpecGram Archive Elves™

Linguistic Term Definitions for Dummies—Dummies

Hella Hellacious Diversions—Artemus Zebulon Pratt

Phonology Hero—Xerus & Ratufa

Sprachgeist Guides for the Linguist on the Go!Part VIIIBook Announcement from Panini Press

Rasmus Rask Puzzle V—Diamonds Are Forever—Lila Rosa Grau


Volume CLXXVIII, Number 3 (March 2017)

On Fake NewsA Letter from Associate Editor Mikael Thompson

Letters to the Editor

/nuz baɪts/

Linguimericks, Etc.Book ४०

A Sample of Self-DefinersRhetorical & Poetic Devices and Figures of Speech: Part IThe SpecGram Book Elves™

From the Archives!SpecGram Propaganda VIIIThe SpecGram Archive Elves™

The Most Unusual Creole of All: A Sociolinguistic StudyCecil Roderick Bull and Trevor Nigel Ochs

/təmeɪtoʊ/–/təmeɪtoʊ/Mondegreen Involution as Psychological WarfareMaj. J. Hendrix and Lt. Theskye Thissguy

Bestsellers of 2016Announcement from Panini Press

Fly, Sigh, Sentence UglySiva Kalyan & Trey Jones


Volume CLXXVIII, Number 2 (February 2017)

Not My PresidentA Letter from the Editor-in-Chief

Letters to the Editor

A Look Back: Linguistics Headlines of 2016The SpecGram Newshounds™

LinguimericksBook ३९

A Sample of Self-DefinersMood, Aspect, & VoiceThe SpecGram Book Elves™

From the Archives!SpecGram Propaganda VIIThe SpecGram Archive Elves™

Linguistic Aspects of a Recent Curious Psychological CaseVormela Peregusna, MD

Mantis Shrimp Color Terms: A Study of Research-Driven Interspecies CreolizationFrancis Burlingham Constable, CDR (Ret.)

Sprachgeist Guides for the Linguist on the Go!Part VIIBook Announcement from Panini Press

Mix & Match ‖Max & Mitch Ninelette


Volume CLXXVIII, Number 1 (January 2017)

In Defense of Sino-RomanThe Editorial Board of SpecGram

Letters to the Editor

/nuz baɪts/

LinguimericksBook ३८

Allophonia...Leonard Conasal

A Sample of Self-DefinersSyntax & Grammar: Part IIThe SpecGram Book Elves™

On the Scientific Beautification of Personal Names: A Study in Experimental Phonosthetic OnomasticsHeidi Ideo & Velma Phlembotaine

Biscuits and Languages: A Discerning Human’s Tasting GuideAdham Smart

From the Archives!Rasmus, the FragranceThe SpecGram Archive Elves™

From the Archives!SpecGram Propaganda VIThe SpecGram Archive Elves™

Zapping Words, Averting AversionM.O.I.S.T.

Stolen Property AdvisorySpecGram Major Crimes Division

The Peristaltic Meditations of Noam ChomskyBook Announcement from Xerus & Ratufa Press

Cryptolinguistic Puzzle ڄMary Shapiro



Volume CLXXVII, Number 4 (December 2016)

Sharper Than the Serpent’s ToothA Letter from Associate Editor Pete Bleackley

Linguimericks, Etc.Book ३७

A Sample of Self-DefinersSyntax & Grammar: Part IThe SpecGram Book Elves™

Focusing on the Topics of “topic” and “focus”R. Jillendon

From the Archives!SpecGram Propaganda VThe SpecGram Archive Elves™

That Doesn’t Go ThereDonald N.S. Unger

From Mwahaha to Bwahaha: Some Observations on Evil LaughterLady Esmerelda Rose Beeton-Frasier

Bait MeX. Kuvador, R. Kialugist, and Pael E. O’Ntolojiss

Research Assistants Are Being Paid

L’Ishing du Gwujlang IXLusrveerDorothea Dorfman and Theodora Mundorf


Volume CLXXVII, Number 3 (November 2016)

Things You Know You Didn’t Want to KnowA Letter from the Editor-in-Chief

Letters to the Editor

/nuz baɪts/

Consent FormsAdam Baker

LinguimericksBook ३६

A Sample of Self-DefinersMorphology & TypologyThe SpecGram Book Elves™

From the Archives!SpecGram Propaganda IVThe SpecGram Archive Elves™

Ultimate Things You Didn’t Know You Didn’t KnowMadalena Cruz-Ferreira

The Devil’s Dictionary of Linguistics and Phonetics, Fascicle 2David KrystalCompiled by Adam Baker

“Interpretez seront les extipices”On the Correct Interpretation of NostradamusPart the ThirdRoger Prentiss Claremont

Sprachgeist Guides for the Linguist on the Go!Part VIBook Announcement from Panini Press

Pragmatic ScientistJob Advertisement

A Diagonal Latin SquareUlfheðnar ber Sarkur


Volume CLXXVII, Number ο (Mid-October 2016)

Special Supplemental Letter from the Editor

The Texas World Cultural Festival and Poetry Recitation CompetitionDamian Grammatical


Volume CLXXVII, Number 2 (October 2016)

与工以口-尺口爪凡以凡   仍巨十十巨尺   与亡尺工尸十   斤口尺   巨以也乙工与廿巨乂巨亡凹十工立巨   巨刀工十口尺   片巨工十廿   与乙凡十巨尺

Letters to the Editor

Linguimericks, Etc.Book ३५

Linguistics Nerd CampBethany Carlson

A Sample of Self-DefinersPhonetics, Phonology, & Phonotactics: Part IIIThe SpecGram Book Elves™

From the Archives!SpecGram Propaganda IIIThe SpecGram Archive Elves™

A Nindefinite DeterminismΓραμματο-Χαοτικον

Some Current Research out in the Frozen Wastelands of Current ResearchAssociate Editor Mikael Thompson

Penultimate Things You Didn’t Know You Didn’t KnowMadalena Cruz-Ferreira

“Interpretez seront les extipices”On the Correct Interpretation of NostradamusPart the SecondRoger Prentiss Claremont

Miff-Conceived, Miff-Guided, and Miff-Executed: Season 1 of Miffy the Selkie SlaughtererMargaret Pearl Collier

27th International Conference on the Phonology of AcronymsCode of Conduct

Xerus & Ratufa and Zombies

Cryptolinguistic Puzzle 四Mary Shapiro


Volume CLXXVII, Number 1 (September 2016)

In the SG-Matrix, There Is No ChaffWhy Author-Level Metrics Are InadequateA Letter from the Editor-In-Chief

Letters to the Editor

/nuz baɪts/

Linguimericks, Etc.Book ३४

Why Movies Should Hire ConlangersPete BleackleyIllustrated by Laura Ryals

A Sample of Self-DefinersPhonetics, Phonology, & Phonotactics: Part IIThe SpecGram Book Elves™

X Marks the SpotFilling the Empty QuadrantYùron Yurōn

From the Archives!SpecGram Propaganda IIThe SpecGram Archive Elves™

Antepenultimate Things You Didn’t Know You Didn’t KnowMadalena Cruz-Ferreira

Word-TVNow A Wholly Owned Subsidiary of SpecGramMedia

“Interpretez seront les extipices”On the Correct Interpretation of NostradamusPart the FirstRoger Prentiss Claremont

Mix & Match §Max & Mitch Ninelette



Volume CLXXVI, Number 4 (August 2016)

PrōpāgandusA Letter from the Editor-in-Chief

Letters to the Editor

What is a “Dog”?David Marino

Linguimericks, Etc.Book ३३

On Powerful Linguistic TheoriesSpecGram Wire Services

A Sample of Self-DefinersPhonetics, Phonology, & Phonotactics: Part IThe SpecGram Book Elves™

Preantepenultimate Things You Didn’t Know You Didn’t KnowMadalena Cruz-Ferreira

From the Archives!SpecGram Propaganda IThe SpecGram Archive Elves™

A Venery of TermsPart IIICollective Nouns for LinguistsX. Altaysh & Uvlarr Ksss

Reviews in Linguistic Historiography: Mary Shelley, FrankensteinХөөмийн Гийлгүүлэгч

Sprachgeist Guides for the Linguist on the Go!Part VBook Announcement from Panini Press

L’Ishing du Gwujlang VIIILusrveerDorothea Dorfman and Theodora Mundorf


Volume CLXXVI, Number 3 (July 2016)

The Coming A.I.pocalypseA Letter from the Managing Editor

Letters to the Editor

Syntexit: The FactsR.A.G. Day

Linguimericks, Etc.Book ३२

Linguistics Nerd CampBethany Carlson

A Sample of Self-DefinersOrthography, Typography, & DiacriticsThe SpecGram Book Elves™

Propreantepenultimate Things You Didn’t Know You Didn’t KnowMadalena Cruz-Ferreira

Against HermogenesAnders Horn

A Venery of TermsPart IICollective Nouns for LinguistsX. Altaysh & Uvlarr Ksss

The sg-indexSeparating the Wheat from the ChaffThe SpecGram Data Science Interns

Cryptolinguistic Puzzle ΓMary Shapiro


Volume CLXXVI, Number 2 (June 2016)

On the Etymology of EditorialsA Letter from Editor Curmudgeon H.D. Onesimus

The GrapholinguistDavis Prickett

Linguimericks, Etc.Book ३१

A Sample of Self-DefinersWriting & Writing SystemsThe SpecGram Book Elves™

The Campaign for Phonemic EqualityAnnouncement

Controvertible Things You Didn’t Know You Didn’t KnowMadalena Cruz-Ferreira

As All That Glitters is Not Gold: Disappointing ParapsycholinguisticsNadia d’Orro

A Venery of TermsPart ICollective Nouns for LinguistsX. Altaysh & Uvlarr Ksss

This Weekend Only at the Coliseum: Orthoepic DiaskeuasisThe SpecGram Promotional Board

Spouses of Undomesticated Linguists: S.O.U.L.Announcement

Mix & Match ‡Max & Mitch Ninelette


Volume CLXXVI, Number 1 (May 2016)

The Modern Reformed EnglishicanA Letter from the Editor-in-Chief

Letters to the Editor

/nuz baɪts/

On GrammarDavid Marino

Linguimericks, Etc.Book ३०

A Linguist Fine and RareH. Stephen Straight

A Sample of Self-DefinersHistorical Linguistics, Etymology, and Sound Changes: Part IIThe SpecGram Book Elves™

Dubitable Things You Didn’t Know You Didn’t KnowMadalena Cruz-Ferreira

Bar NoneDonald N.S. Unger

Sprachgeist Guides for the Linguist on the Go!Part IVBook Announcement from Panini Press

L’Ishing du Gwujlang VIILusrveerDorothea Dorfman and Theodora Mundorf



Volume CLXXV, Number 4 (April 2016)

The Universal Language Forsooth!A Letter from Associate Editor Mikael Thompson

Letters to the Editor

Linguistics Nerd CampBethany Carlson

Linguimericks, Etc.Book २९

Minimalism for MimesWatta Puntshlein

A Sample of Self-DefinersHistorical Linguistics, Etymology, and Sound Changes: Part IThe SpecGram Book Elves™

Universal Grammar: A Metatheoretical ApproachÉtienne Plusrose

Equivocal Things You Didn’t Know You Didn’t KnowMadalena Cruz-Ferreira

Nominative DeterminismLynne Guisticks & Yoko Ono-Maztique

Neo-Latin and Craft Latin: Recent Trends in Rival LatinitatesFletcher Bowyer Scrugg

Cryptolinguistic Puzzle 2Mary Shapiro


Volume CLXXV, Number ξ (Mid-March 2016)

Special Supplemental Letter from the Editor

Towards a Detailed Biochemistry of Innate Mental Structures: Consequences of an OT Approach to the Contemporary NovelMongo Yalbag


Volume CLXXV, Number 3 (March 2016)

Ane Editorial Comment on the Lack of Fresh Victims ContributorsA Letter from Associate Editor Jonathan Downie

Letters to the Editor

/nuz baɪts/

How to Solve SyntaxDavid Marino

Linguimericks, Etc.Book २८

Speculative Grammarian’s SongMikael Thompson

The SpecGram Linguistic Advice Collective

A Sample of Self-DefinersSociolinguistics & Varieties of LanguageThe SpecGram Book Elves™

Unconfirmed Things You Didn’t Know You Didn’t KnowMadalena Cruz-Ferreira

GHOST GrammarFang Gui-Ling

Review of Lily Brown’s review of 张红宾的 review of 李丽丽的 review of Roger J. Smith’s Reported Speech in Chinese-英语 CodeswitchingReviewed by Shr Ji Wei

Bōard Gam̄es for̄ LinḡuistsMacron̄ Bradleȳ

A Speculative Scavenger HuntThe SpecGram Puzzle Elves™


Volume CLXXV, Number 2 (February 2016)

Let Us Publish Your Dissertation!A Letter from the Advertorial Editors

The GrapholinguistDavis Prickett

LinguimericksBook २७

Nunavut Bans TwitterSpecGram Wire Services

A Sample of Self-DefinersSemantics & PragmaticsThe SpecGram Book Elves™

Controversial Things You Didn’t Know You Didn’t KnowMadalena Cruz-Ferreira

Reviewerish Field NotesCy Tayshon and M. Paktphaq-Torr

The Speculative Grammarian Survey of Grammar ReadersMorris Swadesh III

Not So Perry So-SoOn Pragmatics, Fieldwork, and Imperialism—Əəәəᶕᵊ Ӛәəəәɚ Әәӛәₔ

Bestsellers of 2015Announcement from Panini Press

Mix & Match †Max & Mitch Ninelette


Volume CLXXV, Number 1 (January 2016)

Sēsquiplicātus स्टफἩμι-Demi-Семи-Μέγα Issue

The Joy of DeadlinesA Letter from Executive Editor Keith Slater

Letters to the Editor

Linguistics Nerd CampBethany Carlson

LinguimericksBook २६

/nuz baɪts/

What Does Linguistic Theory Mean in Practice?An Elucidation and Realization of the Minimalist Program, Using PythonNLTK Monty

A Sample of Self-DefinersGrammatical CategoriesThe SpecGram Book Elves

A Grad Student’s Guide to PublicationBill Spruiell

Unproven Things You Didn’t Know You Didn’t KnowMadalena Cruz-Ferreira

I Heard It Through the GrapevinePart IIA Survey of Current and Historical EvidentialsReportedly of Interest to LinguistsG. O’ßip & Scutt LeButt

The Devil’s Dictionary of Linguistics and PhoneticsDavid KrystalCompiled by Adam Baker

French Love, Poodles and Google Translate: A New Methodology to Build Language FamiliesIsabelle Tellier

Cryptolinguistic PuzzleMary Shapiro



Volume CLXXIV, Number 4 (December 2015)

The Essence of Holiday CheerA Letter from the Editor-in-Chief

Letters to the Editor

The GrapholinguistDavis Prickett

LinguimericksBook २५

Australians Reject “Drunk Strine” ClaimsMatilda Swagman

From the Computational Linguistics CookbookCurried Chicken

A Sample of Self-DefinersCaseThe SpecGram Book Elves

Apocryphal Things You Didn’t Know You Didn’t KnowMadalena Cruz-Ferreira

Top Tips For LinguistsPart IIThe SpecGram Editorial Board

I Heard It Through the GrapevinePart IA Survey of Current and Historical Evidentials Reportedly of Interest to LinguistsG. O’ßip & Scutt LeButt

The History of the Indo-EuropeansAn Agony in Six FitsTim Pulju

Recruiting Linguistics Students: A Guide for Departments and DeansBook Announcement from Psammeticus Press

Trickle Down Linguonomics IIIK͡Parul K͡Brugmann


Volume CLXXIV, Number 3 (November 2015)

The Safety is OffA Letter from Associate Editor Mikael Thompson

Letters to the Editor

/nuz baɪts/

Linguistics Nerd CampBethany Carlson

LinguimericksBook २४

The SpecGram Linguistic Advice Collective

The Native American Origins of Jack and JillMary Hadlitt-Lamb

Top Tips For LinguistsPart IThe SpecGram Editorial Board

Dubious Things You Didn’t Know You Didn’t KnowMadalena Cruz-Ferreira

Barnyard LinguisticsCarle Day-Tepharmer

Why Linguistic Theories Fail, by Daron Acemoglu and James RobinsonReviewed by Morris Swadesh III

L’Ishing du Gwujlang VIPhicorthograDorothea Dorfman and Theodora Mundorf


Volume CLXXIV, Number 2 (October 2015)

Germanic Day & The Celebration of Romance

Letters to the Editor

The GrapholinguistDavis Prickett

Linguimericks, Etc.Book २३

Hazards of Fieldwork Among the HiithrobnsnWilliam Moore-Crusoe

Contingent Things You Didn’t Know You Didn’t KnowMadalena Cruz-Ferreira

What Else Happened to Sociolinguistics?Ronald Macaulay

A Survey of Recent Trends in Philosophical LexicographyJay Chough Starling

You Xould be Using ColEctivO X!®™The Birthifying of an Executive Modal VerbExecutivized Linguistickish Solutionizers, Inc.

Mix & Match *Max & Mitch Ninelette


Volume CLXXIV, Number 1 (September 2015)

Don’t Settle for Second-BestA Letter from Associate Editor Mikael Thompson

Letters to the Editor

Linguistics Nerd CampBethany Carlson

LinguimericksBook २२

Phonologist’s ShantyTraditional

/nuz baɪts/

Dependency Length MinimisationAnna Gram

G. Ricean Maxims for the Earnest ResearcherPaul G. Rice

Uncountable Things You Didn’t Know You Didn’t KnowMadalena Cruz-Ferreira

Introducing SadianContext, phoneme inventory and promissory notesApril Füller

Notice of Services OfferedAdvertisement

Trickle Down Linguonomics II—K͡Parul K͡Brugmann



Volume CLXXIII, Number 4 (August 2015)

Ane, Twa, ThreeA Letter from Associate Editor Jonathan Downie

Letters to the Editor

Sleeping Furiously Since 1986Hamlet Tries PraatLaura Ryals

LinguimericksBook २१

From the Archives!Dooms/Punod Manuscript PhotoThe SpecGram Archive Elves™

Boundless Things You Didn’t Know You Didn’t KnowMadalena Cruz-Ferreira

Proto-Indo-SpamopeanAn Early Exemplar of “Ye Olde Baite of Yon Clicke”X. Kuvador, R. Kialugist, and Pael E. O’Ntolojiss

Will the Real Linguists Please Stand Up?Prof. Trent Slater

Revelations Sober and AilingArtemus Zebulon Pratt

A Morphosyntactic, Semantic, Pragmatic, Sociolinguistic and Literary Investigation into the Psycholinguistic Mechanisms Underlying English PunsPete Bleackley

Son of SpeckGrammAdvertisement

ΣυυιτχεροοΓάμμαDouble TroubleἜλλειψις Ἀστερίσκος and Ἔλλειψις Ἀπόστροφος


Volume CLXXIII, Number 3 (July 2015)

The Fishing LinguistA Letter from Executive Editor Keith Slater

Letters to the Editor

Linguist DubstepRebecca Lovering

LinguimericksBook २०

Grammar CopBy Trey Jones

Innumerable Things You Didn’t Know You Didn’t KnowMadalena Cruz-Ferreira

Startling Allegations Rock Historical Linguistics CommunityAndrew Lamont

On the Cryptographic Uses of TLAsDash Ŋ. Ooba-Nuhd

The Topology of SyntaxIain A. Plicable

The C-Rhyme and Pun-ish-ment of St. AlvinJerry Fyodor & Josef Dobrovskýevsky

Labyrinths & LinguistsCraig Kopris

The SpecGram InquisitionThe Tables are Turned!A probing of Inquisitor Generalis Jonathan Downiewith Inquisitor Inquisitoris Trey Jones

L’Ishing du Gwujlang VPhicorthograDorothea Dorfman and Theodora Mundorf


Volume CLXXIII, Number 2 (June 2015)

Recent Trends in the Linguistics of Tea

Tea Encompasses AllA Large Majority of the SpecGram Editorial Board

Letters to the Editor

The Hegemony of American Coffee and the Fight for Universal TeaProf. Dr. phil. Johannes Schomski

In Defence of Coffee: A Reply to SchomskiTex Rex “T-Rex” Cobb

The Editors Strike BackReplies to Cobb’s Reply to SchomskiThe SpecGram Editorial Board

27 Things Linguists Didn’t Know About TeaNumber 12 Made Me Cringe!Bas Fête

The Origin of the Modern Pronunciation of “Tea”H.D. Onesimus

“Green Tea” and the Evil Monkey of StructuralismZacharias Esteban von Ordoñez

Tea: Supreme Ruler of the MorphemesThị Mã Quing, Kofi S. Ucks, Theodore D. Rinker

Features of Tea: A Potted HistoryPete Bleackley

The Search for a Universal Beverageme is FutilityFerdinand de Ramotswe

Which Tea You Should Be DrinkingA Guide by Linguistic SubdisciplineHitosarai Yōkai Ūron

Get Back to Work!A Rebuttal from the Editor-in-Chief


Volume CLXXIII, Number 1 (May 2015)

On the Speculative GrammarianA Letter from the Editor-in-Chief

Letters to the Editor

Linguistics Nerd CampBethany Carlson

Linguimericks, Etc.Book १९

Away from Animacy Equality in Computational LinguisticsOlga Gerakova

From the Archives!Alien Syntax TreesThe SpecGram Archive Elves™

From the Island of Bad Infographics IIMizero Caquícona

Rock, Paper, Scissors, Computational Linguist, Nasal-Ingressive Voiceless Velar Trill, ChomskyA Not-Quite-New Game for Every LinguistPhlange Kadigan

Immeasurable Things You Didn’t Know You Didn’t KnowMadalena Cruz-Ferreira

The SpecGram Linguistic Advice Collective

Pumptilian Perniquity’s Comma Removal and Remediation KitAdvertisement

Trickle Down Linguonomics I—K͡Parul K͡Brugmann



Volume CLXXII, Number 4 (April 2015)

Impaired Languages: The Next Focus of LinguisticsA Letter from the Executive Editor

Letters to the Editor

Sleeping Furiously Since 1986Everyday OptimalityLaura Ryals

LinguimericksBook १८

Saban Restructures ContractSpecGram Wire Services

Simulation Modelling of Syntactic HabitatsNom Compik & Piraha Sanpitakuk

The SpecGram InquisitionKeith Slaterwith Inquisitor Generalis Jonathan Downie

From the Archives!The Grand Nauruan Hotel Bill, 1888The SpecGram Archive Elves™

Saving Endangered Languages with PrescriptivismNeil de Veratte

Limitless Things You Didn’t Know You Didn’t KnowMadalena Cruz-Ferreira

Great Linguistics Movies and Their Famous LinesPart IIThe SpecGram Editorial Board

Clearance SaleXerus & Ratufa

ΣυυιτχεροοΒῆταἜλλειψις Ἀστερίσκος and Ἔλλειψις Ἀπόστροφος


Volume CLXXII, Number 3 (March 2015)

Plagiarize This!A Letter from an Unidentifiable Subset of the SpecGram Editorial Board

Linguistics Nerd CampBethany Carlson

LinguimericksBook १७

Linguist Fashion WeekA Report from the FieldProf. Trent Slater

Incalculable Things You Didn’t Know You Didn’t KnowMadalena Cruz-Ferreira

The Chadic Substratum in EnglishNemo Thanneven

Great Linguistics Movies and Their Famous LinesPart IThe SpecGram Editorial Board

Plagiarism Uncovered in SpecGram PagesThe Linguistic Inquirer

Bestsellers of 2014Announcement from Panini Press

From the Island of Bad InfographicsEnglish Parts of SpeechMizero Caquícona

Sliding Vowels PuzzleBasil Quinn


Volume CLXXII, Number 2 (February 2015)

Folios Replete with MaidensA Letter from the Editor-in-Chief

Letters to the Editor

Sleeping Furiously Since 1986Reduced Vowel HealthcareLaura Ryals

Linguimericks, Etc.Book १६

Untold Things You Didn’t Know You Didn’t KnowMadalena Cruz-Ferreira

Degenerative GrammarDesirée-Debauchée Cyntacks & Dec A. D’Cadence

The SpecGram InquisitionBill Spruiellwith Inquisitor Generalis Jonathan Downie

The Hidden Source of Theoretical LinguisticsThe Terrible Story of John and MaryIsabelle Tellier

Clearance SaleXerus & Ratufa

L’Ishing du Gwujlang IVPhicorthograDorothea Dorfman and Theodora Mundorf


Volume CLXXII, Number 1 (January 2015)

And the Winner Is...A Letter from the Editor-in-Chief

Letters to the Editor

Linguistics Nerd CampBethany Carlson

LinguimericksBook १५

Google Translate Acquires New LanguagesAdham Smart

The SpecGram Linguistic Advice Collective

Do You Suffer the Embarrassment of Loose Vowel Syndrome?Dr. Goodword

Countless Things You Didn’t Know You Didn’t KnowMadalena Cruz-Ferreira

On the Sexiness of LinguisticsἘ. Ρωτικός & Venerius Effing

ΣυυιτχεροοἌλφαἜλλειψις Ἀστερίσκος and Ἔλλειψις Ἀπόστροφος



Volume CLXXI, Number 4 (December 2014)

Of Human Charity and GoodwillA Letter from the Executive Editor

Letters to the Editor

Sleeping Furiously Since 1986Laura Ryals

Linguimericks, Etc.Book १४

On the Mytholinguistic Significance of ButterfliesMary Hadlitt-Lamb

Endless Things You Didn’t Know You Didn’t KnowMadalena Cruz-Ferreira

It Was a Dark and Stormy Noun...1987 EditionThe SpecGram Puzzle Elves™

The SpecGram InquisitionTrey Joneswith Inquisitor Generalis Jonathan Downie

The Vowel Space DVD Boxed SetAdvertisement

Clearance SaleXerus & Ratufa

EtymGeo™Weird Little U.S. Towns, Part VIThe SpecGram Puzzle Elves™


Volume CLXXI, Number 3 (November 2014)

Buzz, Buzz, BuzzA Letter from the Editor-in-Chief

Linguistics Nerd CampBethany Carlson

LinguimericksBook १३

A Proposal for an Academy to Regulate the French LanguageArmand du Plessis

Diet of BilingualismDidier Cochon

Unu Mondo, Unu Lingvo, Sen KulturoTennick Bolson

Measureless Things You Didn’t Know You Didn’t KnowMadalena Cruz-Ferreira

Quantum Mechanics for Linguists: Die Bauston InterpretationProf. Dr. Harold Twistenbaum

The Linguistic Placebo EffectI. Tinerant

Parenting Styles and Progeny SuccessA Practical Guide to Broken-Record ParentingThe Linguistics EditionAdvertisement

L’Ishing du Gwujlang IIIDorothea Dorfman and Theodora Mundorf


Volume CLXXI, Number 2 (October 2014)

A Speculative Grammarian by Any Other Name...A Letter from the Editor-in-Chief

Letters to the Editor

Linguistics Nerd CampBethany Carlson

LinguimericksBook १२

The SpecGram InquisitionMadalena Cruz-Ferreirawith Inquisitor Generalis Jonathan Downie

Assorted Things You Didn’t Know You Didn’t KnowMadalena Cruz-Ferreira

Overheard in the SpecGram Editorial LoungeHellgrün Dunkelblau, Ph.D. and Myrkur-Viviti Темнота, ABD

It Was a Dark and Stormy Noun...1986 EditionThe SpecGram Puzzle Elves™

From the Archives!Satirical Linguist’s HatThe SpecGram Archive Elves™

Word Ladder 二Learned Hand and Benighted Foot


Volume CLXXI, Number 1 (September 2014)

Special Retrospective Issue

In Retrospect...A Letter from the Editor-in-Chief

“Dates in the Month of May that Are of Interest to Linguists”by James D. McCawleyReviewed by Mikael Thompson

“Morpheme Addiction”by Susan WishnetskyReviewed by Don Mueang Changi

“Noam Chomsky: Man or Myth?”Advertisement by The Greater Lansing Linguistics AssociationReviewed by Rasmus Gauthiot

“A Stratificational Approach to Making Macaroni and Cheese”by Tim PuljuReviewed by Trey Jones

“Noam Chomsky’s Syntactic Structures (Review)”by Robert E. LeeReviewed by Fædrus Ϙ. Χ. Plaid’oh

“Variation in the English Indefinite Article”by Tim PuljuReviewed by Don Mueang Changi

“Variation in the English Indefinite Article”by Tim PuljuReviewed by Dr. Francis Narcía

“ ‘Variation in the English Indefinite Article’ by Tim Pulju”Reviewed by Don Mueang Changiand“ ‘Variation in the English Indefinite Article’ by Tim Pulju”Reviewed by Dr. Francis NarcíaReviewed by Phineas Q. Phlogiston, Ph.D.

“Divine Unification Grammar”by Ǣlfgār λ. GarciaReviewed by Functionalisticus Dyscolus

“Towards a Perfect Definition of the Term ‘Sign’ ”by Louis CapetReviewed by Mongo Yalbag

“Twenty Special Forms of Rhetoric”by Dawn B. SeelyReviewed by Claude Searsplainpockets

“Gothic for Travellers”by A. Judzis, the VisigothReviewed by Wulfila Streitberg

“The Original Language of Winnie-the-Poohby Aureliano BuendíaReviewed by Bill Spruiell

“A New Mechanism For Contact-Induced Change: Evidence From Maritime Languages”by H.D. OnesimusReviewed by Morris Swadesh III

“Choose Your Own Career in Linguistics”by Trey JonesReviewed by Sheri Wells-Jensen

“New speech disorder linguists contracted discovered!”by Yreka BakeryReviewed by April May June

“Double-Dot Wide O / Nasal-Ingressive Voiceless Velar Trill”by J–––– J––––––Reviewed by Jonathan van der Meer

“The Quotta and the Quottiod”by Vére ÇélenReviewed by Cadwallader Colden

“Evidential Complexity and Language Loss in Pinnacle Sherpa”by Keith SlaterReviewed by H.D. Onesimus

Cartoon Theories of Linguisticsby Phineas Q. Phlogiston, Ph.D. (with guest contributorsHilário Parenchyma, C.Phil. and Erin Taylor)Reviewed by Steve Dodson

“Systematic Suppletion: An Investigation of Ksotre Case Marking”by Lawrence R. Muddybanks, Ph.D.and“On Apparent ‘Systematic Suppletion’ in Ksotre”by Angus Æ. Balderdash, Esq. and Julienne Autolycus, Ph.D.Reviewed by Noah McMosky

“Modern and Historical Graphical Representations of Structural Relationships in Spoken and Written English Sentential Utterances”by Nattapoŋ Yunloŋ SeuŋyoŋReviewed by the Society for the Topological and Extensional Modelling of Pseudopositivist & Ontological Statements Evaluating UR Research

Review!Reviewed by Miranda Nuncalea

Linguistically-Themed Pseudo-Nihonese PuzzlesReviewed by Ἔλλειψις Ἀστερίσκος and Ἔλλειψις Ἀπόστροφος



Volume CLXX, Number 4 (August 2014)

Warning! SpecGram Could Infect Your MindA Letter from the Editor-in-Chief

Letters to the Editor

“Conlang” Added to Oxford English DictionarySpecGram Wire Services

Linguimericks, Etc.Book ११

From the Archives!Kokopelli/Phonē Fetish IdolThe SpecGram Archive Elves™

Profuse Things You Didn’t Know You Didn’t KnowMadalena Cruz-Ferreira

The SpecGram InquisitionSheri Wells-Jensenwith Inquisitor Generalis Jonathan Downie

It Was a Dark and Stormy Noun...1985 EditionThe SpecGram Puzzle Elves™

Speech is an Elaborate Cover for Widespread TelepathyWill Styler

EtymGeo™Weird Little U.S. Towns, Part VThe SpecGram Puzzle Elves™


Volume CLXX, Number ν (Mid-July 2014)

Special Supplemental Letter from the Editor

Strangecraft, Part I—Ruffles and Blood—Mikael Thompson

Strangecraft, Part II—The Kudzu on the Ivory Tower—Mikael Thompson

Strangecraft, Part III—The Twisty Innards of Leviathan—Mikael Thompson

Strangecraft, Part IV—You Old Indian Summer—Mikael Thompson

Strangecraft, Part V—The Highest Time of Living—Mikael Thompson

Strangecraft, Part VI—Much Ado About Shoggoths—Mikael Thompson

Strangecraft, Part VII—Ces Petits Corps Qui Tombent de Travers—Mikael Thompson

Strangecraft, Part VIII—Douce Amitié Souvent Perdue et Recherchee—Mikael Thompson


Volume CLXX, Number 3 (July 2014)

Encrypted Missives from the CosmosA Letter from Associate Editor Jonathan Downie

Letters to the Editor

Linguistics Nerd CampBethany Carlson

LinguimericksBook १०

From the Archives!Jungftak FeathersThe SpecGram Archive Elves™

Abundant Things You Didn’t Know You Didn’t KnowMadalena Cruz-Ferreira

Thirteen Untranslatable WordsMichael Covarrubias

The SpecGram InquisitionPete Bleackleywith Inquisitor Generalis Jonathan Downie

Dreaming in RA Psycholinguistical Statistical Reverie“Doc” Yoomin Terrean

Decrypt the Missives from the Cosmos—A Puzzle in Many PartsTrey Jones


Volume CLXX, Number 2 (June 2014)

Etymology is for the BridsA Letter from the Executive Editor

LinguimericksBook ९

FunologyClassical CyberphonemicsRachel Jamison

Towards Gender Equality in Computational LinguisticsOleg Gerakoff

From the Archives!Editorial MatéThe SpecGram Archive Elves™

The SpecGram InquisitionMikael Thompsonwith Inquisitor Generalis Jonathan Downie

Plentiful Things You Didn’t Know You Didn’t KnowMadalena Cruz-Ferreira

What English NeedsBy Peter William Carrillo

One Hundred Words for SnowcloneClaude Searsplainpockets and X. Izthunüblakk

What is That Mess on the Cover?The Speculative Grammarian Essential Guide to Linguistics Cover ContestAdvertisement

L’Ishing du Gwujlang IIDorothea Dorfman and Theodora Mundorf


Volume CLXX, Number 1 (May 2014)

Questioning AnswersA Letter from the Executive Editor

Letters to the Editor

Ye Olde PunneryThe Jigglepike FragmentSpecGram Wire Services

LinguimericksBook ८

Multitudinous Things You Didn’t Know You Didn’t KnowMadalena Cruz-Ferreira

The Man Who Left His Deictic Center in San FranciscoEdward Tapir and Benjamin Wharf

Deluxe Layered Model of LinguisticsBjorn-Bob Weaselflinger

From the Archives!A Stone WordThe SpecGram Archive Elves™

Alternative semanticsZac Smith and Trey Jones

Word Ladder 一Learned Hand and Benighted Foot



Volume CLXIX, Number 4 (April 2014)

The Year of the Doʊɡ

It’s a Doʊɡ-Eat-Doge WorldA Letter from the Editor-in-Chief

Letters to the Editor

Linguimericks, Etc.Book ७

Linguistics Nerd CampBethany Carlson

Académie Française Has Banned Conlanging, AgainSpecGram Wire Services

From the Archives!The Black BoxThe SpecGram Archive Elves™

Myriad Things You Didn’t Know You Didn’t KnowMadalena Cruz-Ferreira

Next Noam Chomsky to Be SelectedMorris Swadesh III

Linguistics Acronym Word SearchH.D. Onesimus


Volume CLXIX, Number 3 (March 2014)

Big Assibilant ʃpiderA Letter from the Editor-in-Chief

Letters to the Editor

LinguimericksBook ६

The SpecGram Linguistic Advice Collective

Kill All PhoneticiansDie Lingulelen

What Can Visualizations enGender?Decreasing Man’s Power While Increasing Grammatical AccuracyMegan Smith and Le Anne Lucia Spino

From the Archives!Ye Olde English Marmot RecipeThe SpecGram Archive Elves™

Copious Things You Didn’t Know You Didn’t KnowMadalena Cruz-Ferreira

The Conlanger’s Pasta MachineAdvertisement

Titles in Fantasy and Sci-Fi LinguisticsAnnouncement from Scholartastic Books

EtymGeo™Weird Little U.S. Towns, Part IVThe SpecGram Puzzle Elves™


Volume CLXIX, Number 2 (February 2014)

Tenth Digiversary Issue

Ten Years of Linguistic MischiefKeith Slater and Trey Jones

Tenth Anniversary Testimonials

Linguistics Nerd CampBethany Carlson

LinguimericksBook ५

The Real Etymology of TimothyEura U. Pertú

Sundry Things You Didn’t Know You Didn’t KnowMadalena Cruz-Ferreira

Philologer’s Kvetchwhinge 33Mordred Ilktost

From the Archives!The SpecGram Rare Book CollectionThe SpecGram Archive Elves™

From the Archives!The Rejected PaperThe SpecGram Archive Elves™

Delivery Attempt Notification

The SpecA New Measure for Linguistic HumourProf. Trent Slater

Tin Reasons to SillybrateIthyl Hipburn

Spelling Made SimpleRev. Q. X. Shawtwain

Linguistic Rehab—Advertisement

Bestsellers of 2013Announcement from Panini Press

LingDoku IIThe RevivalTangent Wong and the SpecGram Puzzle Elves™


Volume CLXIX, Number 1 (January 2014)

Breaking the Fourth Wall and the Fourth VoiceA Letter from the Managing Editor

Letters to the Editor

LinguimericksBook ४

Why Typologists Rarely Get Second Dinner InvitationsBill Spruiell

From the Archives!The Sikɹɪt Kɹʌʃ Linguist’s LocketThe SpecGram Archive Elves™

Ample Things You Didn’t Know You Didn’t KnowMadalena Cruz-Ferreira

On How Middle Voice Should Not Constrain for SyntaxBabylon J. Middleton

A New Study of Linguistic SynesthesiaOtt Harfondle

Local Linguist Mom Discovers One Weird Trick for Deriving NLP Equations!Computational Linguists Hate Her!Advertisement

The Fifteen LinguistsHortatory Ergative Dudeney



Volume CLXVIII, Number 4 (December 2013)

What is the Sound of One Vocal Cord Flapping?A Letter from the Managing Editor

Letters to the Editor

LinguimericksBook ३

Linguistics Nerd CampBethany Carlson

Divers Things You Didn’t Know You Didn’t KnowMadalena Cruz-Ferreira

From the Archives!SpecGram Editorial Hotline and Κολοσσός Vacuum TubesThe SpecGram Archive Elves™

Reasons to Become a Professional LinguistWye T’Kolr and Prof. Fess Oar

The Origins of Infixation in KamkalaH.D. Onesimus

The Joy of TaxGeorge S. Boutwell, Joseph J. Lewis, and William Orton

People with Lack of Original Research IdeasAdvertisement

L’Ishing du GwujlangDorothea Dorfman and Theodora Mundorf


Volume CLXVIII, Number 3 (November 2013)

Turkish Q and OEM and ΓΧ, Oh My!A Letter from the Managing Editor

Letters to the Editor

LinguimericksBook २

The SpecGram Linguistic Advice Collective

From the Archives!The Ʌndərwʊd Portable IPA TypewriterThe SpecGram Archive Elves™

Bounteous Things You Didn’t Know You Didn’t KnowMadalena Cruz-Ferreira

The Cartography of the Derivation: A Brief History of the Louis and Clärque ExpeditionCarlos L. P. Rizziani

On the Proto-Indo-European Origin of ‘Twerk’Mark Butcher & Mark Candlestick-Maker

“In Chaucer’s time . . .”The Liberating Joy of Do-It-Yourself EtymologiesJonathan Caws-Elwitt

A Psychosis of the “Framework Psychosis” FrameworkJonathan van der Meer

EtymGeo™Weird Little U.S. Towns, Part IIIThe SpecGram Puzzle Elves™


Volume CLXVIII, Number 2 (October 2013)

Don’t Baby That Baby, BabyA Letter from the Editor-at-BatButch McBastard

LinguimericksBook १

Linguistics Nerd CampBethany Carlson

Metasyntactic HeuristicsAn Idea Whose Time Has ComeG. Berish

⟨h⟩, the Little Grapheme SoldierCallum Robson

From the Archives!The XT-17 Uzi/Reel-to-Reel RecorderThe SpecGram Archive Elves™

Unabating Things You Didn’t Know You Didn’t KnowMadalena Cruz-Ferreira

Cultural TonesSemantically significant suprasegmentals in the Kamgala languageH.D. Onesimus

Rizzoto BellettiMaraci Rubin

αvαnt-Gαrde Move-αnαgrαmsGαvαgαi!Trey Jones


Volume CLXVIII, Number 1 (September 2013)

To the Letter WritersA Letter from the Managing Editor

The SpecGram Linguistic Advice Collective

The Traditional Grammarian as PoetTed Hipple

Phlegmatic Scholarship: Ahem! A Cross-Cultural Study of the Signifying Throat-Clear by Justa Little-Hörss, PhDReviewed by Jonathan Caws-Elwitt

Unrelenting Things You Didn’t Know You Didn’t KnowMadalena Cruz-Ferreira

A Final Word on Fame, Formulæ, and LinguisticsJonathan van der Meer and Lagâri Hasan Çelebi

The Speculative Grammarian Essential Guide to LinguisticsA ReviewDon Boozer

The Swiss Data Massage VillaAdvertisement

EtymGeo™Weird Little U.S. Towns, Part IIThe SpecGram Puzzle Elves™



Volume CLXVII, Number 4 (August 2013)

Riches of EmbarrassmentA Letter from the Managing Editor

Letters to the Editor

Linguistics Nerd CampBethany Carlson

University Sues Self for PlagiarismSpecGram Wire Services

Unremitting Things You Didn’t Know You Didn’t KnowMadalena Cruz-Ferreira

Linguistic Insults for Every OccasionSnidely von Särcäästïcüt and Yo Ma-Ma

Compound Nouns for FrancesFound among the papers of Russell Hoban by Keith SlaterIllustrated by Kean Kaufmann

A Survey of Linguistic Contributions to Modern IocologyGrivet Malbrouck

People for the Ethical Treatment of DataAdvertisement

αdvαnced Move-αnαgrαmsThe Yì LīngTrey Jones


Volume CLXVII, Number μ (July 2013)

Special Supplemental Letter from the Editor

The Far Side of the Real, Part ITrouble like Nobody’s BusinessPaul Cain

The Far Side of the Real, Part IIThe Ragged Way Some People LivePaul Cain

The Far Side of the Real, Part IIILibellers Don’t ShootPaul Cain

The Far Side of the Real, Part IVThe Hammer or Anvil BluesPaul Cain

The Far Side of the Real, Part VRevenge and RemorsePaul Cain


Volume CLXVII, Number 3 (June 2013)

We Shall Reap the PhysicistsA Letter from the Managing Editor

Letters to the Editor

The SpecGram Linguistic Advice Collective

Unending Things You Didn’t Know You Didn’t KnowMadalena Cruz-Ferreira

My Name, the PerformativeVirginia Bouchard

Editorial Errors and Standard DeviationA social science proof of the universal validity of statisticsDr. Georg Strudelfest

The Speculative Grammarian Survey of Grammar WritersThe Writing ProcessMorris Swadesh III

On the Quantum Nature of Linguistic FameA Reply to SlaterCadwallader Colden

Review of John Stuart Mill and the Temple of DoomVervet Vandiver Vanlandingham-Vanderveer

EtymGeo™Weird Little U.S. Towns, Part IThe SpecGram Puzzle Elves™


Volume CLXVII, Number 2 (May 2013)

The Tale of Pulju and Slater’s VolunteersA Letter from the Managing Editor

Letters to the Editor

The SpecGram Linguistic Advice Collective

Términos Lingüísticos AutorreferentesT. B. Geller

Unceasing Things You Didn’t Know You Didn’t KnowMadalena Cruz-Ferreira

Strings and Things: A Unificational Meta-Theory for All LinguisticsTrent Slater

The Speculative Grammarian Survey of Grammar WritersData and AnalysisMorris Swadesh III

Handbook for Linguistic Elicitation, Volume 28: Laziness and InactivityBook Announcement from Psammeticus Press

LinguaDateAdvertisement

Move-αnαgrαms II: Historical EditionTrey Jones


Volume CLXVII, Number 1 (April 2013)

April Sages’ Day Issue

To the Fools and Sages of AprilA Letter from April Associate Editor Mikael Thompson

Letters to the Editor

Resuscitated Things You Didn’t Know You Didn’t KnowMadalena Cruz-Ferreira

From the Archives!A SpecGram Devotional ScrollThe SpecGram Archive Elves™

The Speculative Grammarian Survey of Grammar WritersPhonologyMorris Swadesh III

A Preliminary Study of Immigrant Mongolian Transhumance Patterns in Western JamaicaSiobhan Chavannes

Annual Realgedankenexperiment GrantJournal of Forbidden Experiments

Field Guide to Translation and Interpreting Research SpeciesProf. Trent Slater

Smart Chimp Languages, Inc.Advertisement

Universal GrandmaAdvertisement

The Ro-Zeta StoneThe SpecGram Puzzle Elves™



Volume CLXVI, Number 4 (March 2013)

The I in TeamA Letter from the Managing Editor

Letters to the Editor

Optimality Theory Was a HoaxSpecGram Wire Services

Poetry Corner

Who Wants to Be a Typologist?The SpecGram Directorate of Linguistic Career Advice

Linguistics and TelevisionC. Robson

Restored Things You Didn’t Know You Didn’t KnowMadalena Cruz-Ferreira

Degenerative GrammarOur Current State of Linguistic DegradationD. T. R. O’Rait, D. Bauch, and Wayne N. DeKay

iGrammoid Apps for Linguists and LinguistoidsAdvertisement

Move-αnαgrαmsTrey Jones and Keith Slater


Volume CLXVI, Number 3 (February 2013)

Replies, Rejoinders, Retorts, and RipostesA Letter from the Managing Editor

Letters to the Editor

Poetry Corner

The Definition of ProgressSam Crusemire

Reawakened Things You Didn’t Know You Didn’t KnowMadalena Cruz-Ferreira

Generational Differences in Set-Definitional Pronoun Reference Among the WinodanugaianLiza Zverkov

On the Expectedly Variable Lexicon of 955Extremely Rapid Environmental Change (EREC)Etaoin Shrdlu and Elaoin Sdrétu

Normalized Independent Basis-Vector–Based Languages and the Dream of Just Universal Enough LanguagesA Reply to Nsiwander-SicJonathan van der Meer and I. Juana Pelota-Grande

Synthetic Post-ComprehensionsimA Theory on the Origin of Linguistic GravityAdam Graham

New Course Offerings in LinguisticsL’École de SpecGram, Paris

Crossword for Historical LinguistsKeith W. Slater


Volume CLXVI, Number 2 (January 2013)

Why Linguistics is Not a ScienceThe SpecGram Editorial Board

Letters to the Editor

Velum, Velum, Little ThingPhrançoise Phonetique

Linguist Sues Language CommunitySpecGram Wire Services

The Necessity of Sound Theoretical Frameworks in Linguistic EducationNoah McMosky

Revivified Things You Didn’t Know You Didn’t KnowMadalena Cruz-Ferreira

Nuclear Linguistics: The Story of the Local Interlingual Supercolliders for PhonemesΨ. Clotron, Cal Lider, Hy N. R. Ji, Schrö D. Ŋer

Linguistic Diversity and the Dream of the Universal LanguageChris Nsiwander-Sic

The Nasal Tone: An Honest TaleBarb Tyd-Laika and Tessie Chopp Durnford

Davie Dunnit’s Disparaging DictionaryAdvertisement

The “Panama Guzzler” Anagram PuzzleTrey Jones


Volume CLXVI, Number 1 (November 2012)

A SpecGram FestivusNot Necessarily for the Rest of UsSkip Tacular, SpecGram Minister of Intern(al) Affairs

Letters to the Editor

Hymns for the Reverent LinguistThe Linguistick Hymnary

Big Ten Conference Cancels 2013 Linguistics SeasonSpecGram Wire Services

From the Archives!SpecGram Water Purification TabletsThe SpecGram Archive Elves™

Renascent Things You Didn’t Know You Didn’t KnowMadalena Cruz-Ferreira

On the Suicidal Licentiousness of Nouns and the Totalitarian Designs of Pro-FormsAdam Graham

Notes on Language and ContingencyAbsolon the Epsilon

“Pull Over That æ Too Back”An Examination of Language Attitudes Towards Emulation of the Trap-Bath Split in the American SouthRachael Tatman

The Atishu TribeDr. Gus Huntaight

A Public Service AnnouncementThe Ministry of Silly Sounds

Obituary: Simon M. Tating

More Holiday Gifts for More Holiday LinguistsThe SpecGram Gift Elves™

Christmas Carol Orthography PuzzleMary Pearce



Volume CLXV, Number 4 (October 2012)

Διπλοῦν Ὁρῶσιν Οἱ Μαθόντες ΓράμματαA Letter from the Managing Editor

Letters to the Editor

Obama Denies Plan to Eliminate VerbsJames P. James

From the Archives!The SpecGram Straw MenThe SpecGram Archive Elves™

Regenerated Things You Didn’t Know You Didn’t KnowMadalena Cruz-Ferreira

Rethinking Social Sciences Under the Influence of N-Bar TheoryNikita Barbarosa, Nigel Barclay, Norberto Barrowman, & Vino Heineken

Using NLP to Defeat NLPΓραμματο-Χαοτικον

English Writing System ReformAn Immodest ProposalWekkan Shanj LeMonde, B.F.A., M.Eng., Ph.D. and V. Villma Kind-Ifferenz, A.Z., α.Ω., Q.E.D.

Linguistics in Popular CultureAdvertisement

IPAlindromes IIIWhat Should We Do With/To Noam?Mary Shapiro


Volume CLXV, Number 3 (September 2012)

To the Computational LinguistsA Letter from the Managing Editor

Letters to the Editor

Rejuvenated Things You Didn’t Know You Didn’t KnowMadalena Cruz-Ferreira

On a Recent Application of Game Theory to Linguistics EducationMongo Yalbag

Everything psychologists wanted to know about linguistics but were afraid to askProf. Dr. Harold Twistenbaum

G.U.I.L.T.y PleasuresA Complete and Comprehensive Theory of Language, Linguistics, and EverythingJäger Haumichblau

Whirl, Whirl, WhirlSpinning a Good YarnAn Anthropological Linguistic Study of the Prmu Ta Šn Register of the Ro Ta Tora DoresClaude Searsplainpockets & Helga von Helganschtein y Searsplainpockets

The Lost Lexicographer: Ambrose Bierce, Beelzebub, and Documentary LinguisticsBook Announcement from Psammeticus Press

IPAlindromes IIFind the IPAlindrome!Mary Shapiro


Volume CLXV, Number 2 (August 2012)

Unmasking Editorializing in Linguistic ArticlesSpeculative Grammarian Committee on Preserving Linguistics as a Respectable Discipline

Letters to the Editor

Ozymandian semicolon.. lying in the sand..J.. K.. Eats..

Recrudescent Things You Didn’t Know You Didn’t KnowMadalena Cruz-Ferreira

A Review of Wailin’ Jennings’ Mommas Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be LinguistsPraenomen Gentilicium Cognomen, Esq.

Language Death by Speaker RejectionMore Case StudiesWilliam Carlos Williams Carloses Williamses

NEOLOGA-1A Macrofactor Framework for Linguistics DisordersQuan Tûm Wu

The iLing BS Detection AppAdvertisement

Rasmus Rask Puzzle IVA New HopeLila Rosa Grau


Volume CLXV, Number 1 (July 2012)

Desperatio Scholasticus: Cogitatio de Spiritus GrammaticaeUmbrabilis Editor Dr. Cuthbert S. Binns

Letters to the Editor

Labiodental FlapMary Pearce

Language Death by Speaker RejectionA Few Case StudiesWilliam Carlos Williams Carloses Williamses

Resurgent Things You Didn’t Know You Didn’t KnowMadalena Cruz-Ferreira

Among the Metal MouthsAn Anthropological Linguistic Study of the Fɛʀ↓ʁʘʊⓢ↑Claude Searsplainpockets & Helga von Helganschtein y Searsplainpockets

I’d Like to Buy a VowelTrey Jones

Fifty Grades of AAdvertisement

IPAlindromes IMary Shapiro



Volume CLXIV, Number 4 (June 2012)

On Saving Endangered Languages as Part of Doing Doctoral ResearchAlbertrinette Q. Yue-Ramirez

Letters to the Editor

Trilabial Bill!Mary Pearce

Revitalized Things You Didn’t Know You Didn’t KnowMadalena Cruz-Ferreira

Close and Extended Relative ClausesA Critical AccountFang Gui-Ling

On EgslunceName Withheld

It’s Notso Clear Now, Is It?Claude Searsplainpockets & Helga von Helganschtein y Searsplainpockets

Izzy as Pieby Dạ̃bḃlÿ Dũṫch S̊.

The Elizabethan Canuck: Linguistic Proof of Shakespeare’s Canadian AncestryBook Announcement from Psammeticus Press

Anglomorphic Cuneiform and Puzzle SolutionTrey Jones


Volume CLXIV, Number 3 (May 2012)

Plus Epistularum ad InterrogatoresThe SpecGram Editorial Board

Letters to the Editor

Cultural Constraints on Aharip GrammarLeon Mikhailovsky

Spaghetti or Lasagna for LinguistsThe LeftoversLSA Committee on Comestibles in Linguistics

Notso Yi, Eidetic Pronouns, Winodanugai, and “Deskwork”Claude Searsplainpockets

The Collected Wisdom of Linguists, Part ΓThe SpecGram Council of Sages

An Introduction to Familial LinguisticsThe Syntax and Grammar of Husband, Wife and TeenagerHerr E. Ditarie

Uncovering the Hidden Secrets of AlphapointillismJonathan van der Meer and Lagâri Hasan Çelebi

The H-mility Index and Intellectual Discourse: Studies on the relationship between citation patterns and academic seniorityBook Announcement from Psammeticus Press

More EuroSprachGamesAnnouncement from Panini Press

Anglomorphic CuneiformTrey Jones


Volume CLXIV, Number λ (Mid-April 2012)

Special Supplemental Letter from the Editor

Why Princes are not Scribes, and the Rat Eats GrainSolvi T. Perverbum


Volume CLXIV, Number κ (April 2012)

Special Supplemental Letter from the Editor

On Variation Under EarthlingsChurles R. Darewin


Volume CLXIV, Number 2 (March 2012)

Epistulae ad PercontatoresA Letter from Editor Curmudgeon H.D. Onesimus

Letters to the Editor

My Love is Like a Colorless Green SimileRasmus Burns

Phonemes Features’ Troll-Suit TargetsSpecGram Tech Wire

A Brief History of Linguistics and of the World’s LanguagesProf. Harold Twistenbaum

The Collected Wisdom of Linguists, Part ΒThe SpecGram Council of Sages

Cabalistic Element NamingA Semi-Practical Use for LinguisticsPh. Isaacs, N.V., Ph.D. and Hume N. Ih-Tees

Senility Sufferer vs. Master PragmaticianRecommending a New Standard for Differential DiagnosisMs. Mǒu M. Mǒu

Orbital LinguisticsA Report on the State of the StarfieldHu B. Ble and Al Zweistein

Language Ecology and Language ZoologyBook Announcement from Psammeticus Press

EuroSprachGamesAnnouncement from Panini Press


Volume CLXIV, Number 1 (February 2012)

It’s the Independent Scholar’s Life for Me, Boyo!A Letter from Editor-on-the-Lam Artemus Zebulon Pratt, PhD

Letters to the Editor

The “Slater Method” of Linguistic FieldworkH.D. Onesimus

Rotokan RevelationsFranny Irchow

The Collected Wisdom of Linguists, Part ΑThe SpecGram Council of Sages

Ruminating on ConsonantsWerinda Clover

The No. 1 Linguists’ Detective AgencyKeith Slater

The Most Amazing Linguistic Concert Event of the 21st CenturyThe SpecGram Promotional Board

A Poem PuzzleBryan Allen



Volume CLXIII, Number 4 (January 2012)

Remembering Better TimesA Letter from a Former EditorHerbert Theodore Howlingstonshire, XII

Letters to the Editor

The Great Clouseau Vowel ShiftTel Monks

Directional Source-Marking and Enumerated Utterance Syntactophoric Replacement in Notso YiKeith W. Slater

How Linguistics Got Her Groove BackGunnr Guðr Entgegenlächeln

Grey Duck or Goose?Mapping variation in a children’s game in MinnesotaSven Slater and Ollie Bickford

Even More Sprachgeist Guides for the Linguist on the Go!Book Announcement from Panini Press

Rasmus Rask Puzzle IIILila Rosa Grau


Volume CLXIII, Number 3 (December 2011)

PestSchrift for Trey Jones on the Occasion of his Non-Retirement

A Sample of Edictatorial Injunctions/Ruminations..Trey Jones and Madalena Cruz-Ferreira

DedicationMikael Thompson

Editor’s Contractually-Obligated IntroductionMikael Thompson

Letter From an EditorAthanasious Schadenpoodle

Toward a Prophylactic Approach to Techblather: Some IllustrationsAthanasious Schadenpoodle

Help!A Letter From Another EditorJouni Maho

Preliminary Report: Speculative GrammarianQuine & Assoc

Secret Places DiscoveredAlibaba Loquat Smith-Guernsey

The Legend of TreyHemeralda Ilissey

Notes on SociophonologyLea Kim Shopmont

Prescriptive LinguisticsThe Future of our FieldAnonymous

Per Legale Judicium Parium Suorum

First Names FirstTim Pulju


Volume CLXIII, Number 2 (November 2011)

I See What You Did ThereA Letter from the Managing Editor

Ask Mr Linguistics Person

Spelling Reform: As seen through the eyes of a childYan-Ying Mottainai and Madingle Hopper

Hu ða Æþelingas? or, Who are the Linguists?A “Monolingual” Analysisby B. E. O’Wulf

Spaghetti or Lasagna for LinguistsLSA Committee on Comestibles in Linguistics

Frog and Toad Teach LinguisticsKeith Slater and Kean Kaufmann

The Sociolinguistic Impact of Hippie Linguist Naming Practices—ɹɒbɪn O’Jonesson

Word-A-Day Mongolian CalendarAdvertisement

Yet Another Drop QuoteTrey Jones


Volume CLXIII, Number 1 (October 2011)

Carta aos PirahãsA Letter from the Managing Editor

“Dear Grammy”Advice From Your [+agony] Aunt

Paradigmatically Encoded LogographsUsing SLP to Reveal Divinely Encrypted CommunicationsThe SpecGram Margo Cult

Files in the WildFile naming practices as indicators of academic introversion/extraversionHeyókȟa Wakȟáŋ, Ph.D.

On the Taxonomic Classification of minimalisticiThe controversy, and some directions for researchAthanasious Schadenpoodle

Language & BrainsExpirations in MinimalismLecture Announcement from Dr. S. Morgenstern

Lɛ::ŋkθ Mɑ:rk Me::ɪl Ɛ:nhæ::nsmɛ:nt

Bewitched, Bothered, and BegoogledRick Bryan



Volume CLXII, Number 4 (September 2011)

On Linguistic Death CultsA Letter from the Managing Editor

Letters to the Editor

Pinnacle Sherpa is a Normal LanguageA retraction of all previous conclusionsKeith W. Slater

Google Results Support an Anglo-Genesis Model of Language DegradationU. Pendleton Start

Where Have All the Evidentials Gone?The case that they are now in caseR.M.W. Fillmore

Augmented Things You Didn’t Know You Didn’t KnowMadalena Cruz-Ferreira

Language Evolution and the Acacia TreeSean Geraint

Now Playing at the Move-α-plex!The Trill Hunter & Conan the Librarian

IPA Code Puzzle IIEnchanted HouseholdMary Shapiro


Volume CLXII, Number 3 (August 2011)

The Middle Finger, Having Flipped, Moves On ...—A Letter from the Managing Editor

Letters to the Editor

Internship at Phonetics Lab X—The Case of the Uvular Nasal—John Fredrickson

A Student’s Guide to the History of Linguistics Based on Example Sentences—Franz Neumayer

Fresh Things You Didn’t Know You Didn’t KnowMadalena Cruz-Ferreira

Do You Speak English XS?—Advertisement

An Introduction to Cagian Linguistics—Book Announcement from Psammeticus Press

Dr. S. Morgenstern’s Amazing Frog Food—Lecture Announcement from Dr. S. Morgenstern

Green Linguarian—With Brightest Hopes. With Darkest Despair.—Linguistic Film Reviews—Trey Jones

Speculative Grammarian to Cease Publication in December 2012—Special Announcement

EtymGeo™—International Edition, Part II—The SpecGram Puzzle Elves™


Volume CLXII, Number 2 (July 2011)

Annual Report to Shareholders, 2011The Speculative Grammarian Editorial Board

Letters to the Editor

Zwicky Unretires AgainSpecGram Wire Services

Adminicular Things You Didn’t Know You Didn’t KnowMadalena Cruz-Ferreira

A comment on Mr Slater’s (be)musings on Pinnacle SherpaMadalena Cruz-Ferreira

Phonotronic Energy Reserves and the Tiny Phoneme HypothesisDr. Equus Q. Quagga

Verity Stob and the Super SubjunctionVerity Stob

More Sprachgeist Guides for the Linguist on the Go!Book Announcement from Panini Press

SpecGram Classifieds

IPA Code Puzzle IAnimals in DisguiseMary Shapiro


Volume CLXII, Number 1 (June 2011)

With Apologies to Editor Emeritus Tim PuljuA Letter from the Managing Editor

Letters to the Editor

At the Mall of Indo-EuropeaHlökk bin Praeteritio ab Ἀπόστροφος von Sōkaiya

λ♥[love] (Linguistics Love Song)by Christine Collins

An Introduction to Cagian LinguisticsVarious Authors

Phonetic Evaporation and PrecipitationThe greatest linguistic discovery of the new centuryTrey Jones

Everything Linguists Ever Wanted To Know About Prime Numbersbut really shouldn’t have askedA. Nonymous, Linguist

Relentless Things You Didn’t Know You Didn’t KnowMadalena Cruz-Ferreira

How to Speak to ForeignersAn Anthropological Linguistic Study of the ʔɪɯnkʈlɳɪɞʃtClaude Searsplainpockets & Helga von Helganschtein y Searsplainpockets

Ratical MinimalismLecture Announcement from Dr. S. Morgenstern

SpecGram Dialect Expertise ServicesAdvertisement

EtymGeo™International Edition, Part IThe SpecGram Puzzle Elves™



Volume CLXI, Number 4 (May 2011)

Epistola ad Legentes—Dodranscentennial Disclaimerification and Enwarranticization

Letters to the Editor

Linguistics Nerd Camp—Bethany Carlson

Ask Mr Linguistics Person

Ode to Jungftak, et al.—Nihila R. Tikel

Reduplicated Algonquian Dinosaur Names—G. A. Custer IV

Reflections on the Dooms/Punod Manuscript—Faoi Smacht

The Never-Ending Story of Things You Didn’t Know You Didn’t Know—Madalena Cruz-Ferreira

The Boy Who Stuttered Wolf—A Linguistic Tale of Caution Among the Tʷɪči—Claude Searsplainpockets & Helga von Helganschtein y Searsplainpockets

Language Relationships?—Tim Pulju


Volume CLXI, Number 3 (April 2011)

Attention All Satirical Linguists of Good Conscience! Rise Up! Rise Up!—A Letter from the Speculative Grammarian Interns

Letters to the Editor

Further Discoveries Pertinent to The Public Humiliation of Si—Tom Stinnett for SpecGram Wire Services

Linguistics Nerd Camp—Bethany Carlson

Extra Things You Didn’t Know You Didn’t Know—Madalena Cruz-Ferreira

Semi-Automatic Prophecy Extraction in Sacred Bibliomancy—A Breakthrough in SLP (Supernatural Language Processing)—The SpecGram Margo Cult

Phonetics Roadshow—Freya Shipley

Texan for Linguists—Katy Jo Parker and Truman ‘Tex’ Beauregard

The Cycle of Language Exchange in Pinnacle Sherpa: new evidence for the reversibility of language shift—Keith W. Slater

Book Review: Van Der Fort’s Guide to Field Linguistics by J. S. S. van der Fort—Webley Louis Severson III

EtymGeo™—U.S. Edition—The SpecGram Puzzle Elves™


Volume CLXI, Number 2 (March 2011)

Ἐπιστολὴ πρὸς τὴ Φλεβοτόμο—A Letter from the Managing Editor

Letters to the Editor

Further Pre-Nara Japanese Poem Discoveries—Tom Stinnett for SpecGram Wire Services

Linguistics Nerd Camp—Bethany Carlson

How Do I Love Thee?—Let Me Draw a Tree Diagram—Alex Savoy

Bonus Things You Didn’t Know You Didn’t Know—Madalena Cruz-Ferreira

Linguistics Manifesto—Ling M. Anifesto

The Meadian Median—Questioning the Average Preponderance of Fake Data—Nizgul Gibblefist

On the Wild Extrapolation of Rhodes’ Tame/Wild Scale—Fugacious Ƕ. Bangzerrungen

’Trilaas Outside Manila!An Anthropological Linguistic Followup on Multi-Trill Counting—Claude Searsplainpockets & Helga von Helganschtein y Searsplainpockets

Huffmenglish—A Proposal for Lossless Entropy-Encoded Spelling Reform—Twvx Tthm ad Tthh usn trryv Aluuaj

SpecGram, the Religion—Margo T. Cip, A. M. Grössten, & Strčprst Kskrzkrk

Crossword: Just In Case—Keith Slater


Volume CLXI, Number 1 (February 2011)

An Editorial Comment on ElHaye and Jiŋkins—Butch McBastard and Jonathan van der Meer

Letters to the Editor

Union of Linguist Lecturers Sets Speaking Fees—SpecGram Wire Services

Rare Ancient Japanese Poem Unearthed!—Tom Stinnett for SpecGram Wire Services

Linguistics Nerd Camp—Bethany Carlson

The Phonetician’s Love Poem—Epiphanios o Phantasiopliktos

The Linguistic Rapture—LaTim ElHaye and Leeeerooooy Jiŋkins

Supplemental Things You Didn’t Know You Didn’t Know—Madalena Cruz-Ferreira

Extract from an Interview with Eglantine Lady Fantod, Dowager Professor of Philology at Cambridge University—Freya Shipley

The Narcolinguistic Effects of Professional Athletic Strikes: The hidden danger of baseball—is your community safe?—George E. Will, Bruce Arena, and Larry James Bird

Improving L2 Performance with Pirahã, Shigudo, and Simple English—The effects of syntactic and semantic priming on successful L2 communication—Jeannot Van Tricasse

On the Bideliciousness in Spaghettiomeatballology—William C. Spiralini and Trenne Jones

Examination of the Raartong Language VI: The Intoxicational Affix—J. S. S. van der Fort

Word Relations—Jonathan van der Meer



Volume CLX, Number 4 (January 2011)

An Inflationary Epoch—A Letter from the Managing Editor

Letters to the Editor

Meet the SpecGram Editors

Linguistics Nerd Camp—Bethany Carlson

The Linguistic Doomsday—Dr. X. Nibiru

Ancillary Things You Didn’t Know You Didn’t Know—Madalena Cruz-Ferreira

Descrıptıvısm X!—Ldaxın Kushtaka

Optimal Divinity and Divine Optimality: Key Points of Difference in DUG and OT—Athanasious Schadenpoodle

Bilateral Modal Bifurcation in Pinnacle Sherpa: one language becomes four, almost overnight!—Keith W. Slater

The Future English Bible—Book Announcement from Psammeticus Press

Modal Mania Crossword—Keith Slater


Volume CLX, Number 3 (December 2010)

Lettre à un Ami Philologue—A Letter from the Managing Editor

Letters to the Editor

Meet the SpecGram Editors

Linguistics Nerd Camp—Bethany Carlson

Canada’s Mysterious Silence—SpecGram Wire Services

The Linguistic Singularity and the Linguistic Multiverse—Mikio Chachu

An Auxiliary Collection of Things You Didn’t Know You Didn’t Know—Madalena Cruz-Ferreira

A Brief Essay on the Language and Mythology of the Ekhié and the neighbouring Mákek Peoples of the Highveld Forests and the Ancient Watmákekhié Site—Mr. J. Doe

Not Even Wrong—A transcript of the 2010 SpecGram Free Form Linguistics Slam

Linguistic Cocktails—The SpecGram Mixologists

Missed It By THAT Much!—Tel Monks and the SpecGram Puzzle Elves


Volume CLX, Number 2 (November 2010)

Letters to the Lawyers—A Letter from the Managing Editor

Letters to the Editor

Meet the SpecGram Editors

Chomsky Responds to New Theory of Rochambeau—SpecGram Wire Services

Linguistics Nerd Camp—Bethany Carlson

The Linguistic Big Bounce—Dyman Freeson

Additional Things You Didn’t Know You Didn’t Know—Madalena Cruz-Ferreira

Just Friend?—Helga Langenase & R. Lola Rennt

’Trilaas in ManilaAn Anthropological Linguistic Study of Multi-Trill Counting—Claude Searsplainpockets & Helga von Helganschtein y Searsplainpockets

On the Correct Usage of the Ellipsis—Darius D. Dolesworthy, Otis Oswald Ott, and T. Thadeus Theotokopoulis

The First Report and Overview of the New Pan-global International Council for Marginalising Language (NPICML) on the execution and exclusion of all unnecessary vocabulary in the English Language—Sir CJ Cockspur

Out-of-this-World Fieldwork Puzzle #2—Pecha Kucha


Volume CLX, Number 1 (October 2010)

Morphome Issue

What is a Morphome?—David J. Peterson

Opening Salvo—Two Mor Phoamists—SpecGram Morphomista Rebels

Morphomatological Meanderings—Epiphanios o Philomousos

Uninvited Perspectives on the Morphome—SpecGram Council of Morphologians

More Phonomy—Herself

The Art of the -ome—Z. En ‘Bud’ Dhist

A Field at War: Curbing the Influx of Lexicalist Morphomes—Quentin Popinjay Snodgrass, Ph.D.

Collected Graphic Evidence Against the Existence of the Morphome—Anonymous

A Response to Anonymous’s Collected Graphic Evidence Against the Existence of the Morphome—Knauv Shauling, Ph.D., B.C.E

More foam Please: Getting morphology from polysemy without it having to have ever been there—Horst Q. Wurmmacher and Optatia Tarnhelm

Linguomogy—Tiberius Bertrom, Ph.D.

Cathartic Grecian Maxomes—Anne Thrax

Minomalism Rules!—Psammeticus Press Free Linguistic Ramblings Series

Parting Shot—More Foam—SpecGram Morphomista Rebels



Volume CLIX, Number 4 (September 2010)

Past Tense, Present Mood, Future Voice—A Letter from the Managing Editor

Letters to the Editor

Meet the SpecGram Editors

An Introduction to Linguistics in Haiku Form—Anonymous

Linguistics Nerd Camp—Bethany Carlson

The Linguistic Big Freeze—John Tipler and Frank J. Barrow

Further Things You Didn’t Know You Didn’t Know—Madalena Cruz-Ferreira

The Dictionary Code—Bryan Allen

Mediated Modern Pinnacle Sherpa: An emerging logographic writing system—Keith W. Slater

Draw Me a Linguist—Aster E. O’Gnosis and Margo Llicso

A Brief Puzzlicious Interlude—John Miaou and Laura Payne


Volume CLIX, Number ι (Mid-August 2010)

Special Supplemental Letter from the Editor

Acquiring Isolation: The Peculiar Case of Ghwǘǜb—Tashel M. Kaithe and Valencia R. O’Shaughnessy


Volume CLIX, Number θ (August 2010)

Special Supplemental Letter from the Editor

A Primer in SF Xenolinguistics—Justin B. Rye


Volume CLIX, Number 3 (July 2010)

Ἐπιστολὴ πρὸς γλωσσολόγους—A Letter from the Managing Editor

Letters to the Editor

Meet the SpecGram Editors

On Neoplatonism and Fodor—Athanasious Schadenpoodle and Epiphanios o Phainomenos

The Linguistic Big Rip—Charlie Saygone

Language Reviews—Dr. P. Nonoir

The Encyclopedia of Mytholingual Creatures, Places, and Things—Part II—Jʚsɘph Cɑɱpbɛɬɭ

A Love/Hate Relationship: Pesky Antonyms—Jessie Sams

Out-of-this-World Fieldwork Puzzle #1—Pecha Kucha

Vallelz Noun Class Word Search Solution—The SpecGram Puzzle Elves


Volume CLIX, Number 2 (June 2010)

Boas’ iDesktop­Information­Transmission­Device—A Letter from the Managing Editor

Letters to the Editor

Aristotle Celebrates the Discovery of the Σύνδεσμος—John Miaou and Ann Shen Tgrii-Kearn

French Sues English—SpecGram Wire Services

A Night’s Tail, Or, The Foibles of Spell Check—James Coomer

The Linguistic Big Crunch—M. Adam Block

A Fair Number More Things You Didn’t Know You Didn’t Know—Madalena Cruz-Ferreira

The Encyclopedia of Mytholingual Creatures, Places, and Things—Part I—Jʚsɘph Cɑɱpbɛɬɭ

Introducing.. The SpecGram ⅔ Ellipsis™©

More of The Business of Linguistics—Book Announcement from Panini Press

Language Identification Puzzle—Keith Slater and Jouni Maho


Volume CLIX, Number 1 (May 2010)

Special Fieldwork Issue II

The State of the Field—Guest Editor H.D. Onesimus
Breaking News—SpecGram Wire Services

On the Applicability of Recent Theoretical Advances in Linguistics to the Practice of Fieldwork—Elwin Ransom

Tridekavalent Verbs of Telenovelity in Mydlováskji—Śūnyatā Qoɣusun

Classical Pinnacle Sherpa—A living exercise in proto-language reconstruction—Keith W. Slater

Writing a Fieldwork Dissertation—Kai Tak Suvarnabhumi

Doing Fieldwork on Constructed Languages—Curtis U. Lehder

The Prudent Fieldworker’s Guide to Preparation and Packing—Part II—Professor Athanasious Schadenpoodle

Parsers in the Cloud—Cruella Žestókij-Grausam

Learn to Speak Swadesh in One Hundred Easy Lessons!—Book Announcement from Panini Press

How to Get a Reputation as an Impressive Fieldworker—Sharing the secrets behind the successes—Phil Dwork

Classified Advertisements

Vallelz Noun Class Word Search—Keith Slater and Trey Jones



Volume CLVIII, Number 4 (April 2010)

Special Fieldwork Issue I

Linguistic Fieldwork in 2010—Senior Editor Keith W. Slater

How to Do Fieldwork on Proto-Indo-European—Tim Pulju

Campus Linguistics—Back to the Roots of the Field—Monty Ed. Mond

How to Pay for Linguistic Fieldwork—SpecGram Editorial Board

How Computers Can Do Fieldwork For You: A Case Study—Chit Fullah

The Prudent Fieldworker’s Guide to Preparation and Packing—Part I—Professor Athanasious Schadenpoodle

Mid. after-Nguyen Knap—A Brief Ontogenical Sketch—Mandy O. Chyryry

SHRLI: Stealthy High Resolution Linguistic Intake—Hellgrün Dunkelblau, Ph.D. and Myrkur-Viviti Темнота

Advertisement—John Deere—Linguistic Data Harvesters

Ple Nvæn-ila Fieldwork Puzzle—Claude Searsplainpockets


Volume CLVIII, Number 3 (March 2010)

Man in the Black Box—A Letter from the Managing Editor

Letters to the Editor

Things You Didn’t Know You Didn’t Know—Book VII—Madalena Cruz-Ferreira

Ready! Fire! Aim!—A New Approach to Military Combat Using Language Science—François Achille Bazaine

Black Box Testing in Linguistics—Nachele Thanhthu and Nyklus Affanita

The Divine Future of Linguistics, Part II—John Miaou

Großwortbuch—Book Announcement from Psammeticus Press

The Business of Linguistics—Book Announcement from Panini Press

Ling-Ken II—Mary Shapiro


Volume CLVIII, Number 2 (February 2010)

The Joy of Old and Odd Books—A Letter from the Managing Editor

Letters to the Editor

Contemplation—William C. Spruiell and Art Clipopoulos

Continuing Contributions to Things You Didn’t Know You Didn’t Know—Madalena Cruz-Ferreira

Is Translation Possible?—The Answer Rhymes with Noh—Prof. Trent Slater

Graphophonetics—The Science of Transcription and Personality—Þrúðr Óðinsmeyjar

The Divine Future of Linguistics, Part I—John Miaou

German—English Großwörterbuch/Big Word Book—Book Announcement from Psammeticus Press

Sprachgeist Guides for the Linguist on the Go!—Book Announcement from Panini Press

SpecGrammatical Crossword—Trey Jones


Volume CLVIII, Number 1 (January 2010)

In Briefs—A Letter from the Managing Editor

Letters to the Editor

On Leaving a Trace—John Miaou

The Braille Song—Innocuous Mustard

Linguists Don’t Need Prescriptivists—(or Monolinguals—and Pig Latin is Not Enough)—Dr. D. Schkrbtov

The Theory of Sense—Why No One Should Bother To Find Out If It Works—Prof. Trent Slater

Another Bunch of Things You Didn’t Know You Didn’t Know—Madalena Cruz-Ferreira

Palindromic Passivization—Overcoming the Computational Cost of So-Called “Center-Embedding” Passives—Albrecht Brechtal, Fortuna de Sadamente, and Jonathan van der Meer

The Fictional Foundations of Natural Language Processing—Book Announcement from Psammeticus Press

More Self-Actualization for Linguists—Book Announcement from Panini Press

Ling-Ken—Mary Shapiro



Volume CLVII, Number η½ (Mid-December 2009)

Summer Puzzle Mega Issue Solution Supplement

Special Supplemental Letter from the Editor

Summer Puzzle Mega Issue Solutions


Volume CLVII, Number 4 (December 2009)

(P)ain Itself—A Letter from the Managing Editor

Letters to the Editor

On Logophoric Pronouns—John Miaou

Yet Another Collection of Things You Didn’t Know You Didn’t Know—Madalena Cruz-Ferreira

Simplificational Onomastics—Cletus McGraw

A Brief History of the Bleggish Language—Vleth Ziggle-Formenshult

They Don’t Have a Word for It—Book Announcement from Psammeticus Press

Now Under New Management!—Announcement from Panini Press

Conlangers Anonymous—Advertisement

Crossword—Keith Slater


Volume CLVII, Number 3 (November 2009)

Language, as Spoken by Linguists—A Letter from the Managing Editor

Letters to the Editor

The Chiasmus of the Month Award—Psammeticus Press

Love Queries of a Linguist—John Miaou

Rock, Paper, Scissors, Computational Linguist, Nasal-Ingressive Voiceless Velar Trill, Chomsky—A New Game for Every Linguist—Phlange Kadigan

Even More Things You Didn’t Know You Didn’t Know—Madalena Cruz-Ferreira

Preliminary Studies in the Lexicology of Imaginary Language—Dr. I.R. Superordinate

A Menu for Linguists—The SpecGram Chefs

Titles in Fantasy Linguistics—Announcement from Scholartastic Books

The Stylistic Writing Academy of Academic Writing Style—Advertisement



Collateral Descendant of Lingua Pranca (October 2009)

Disclaimer

Introduction


Piled Higher and Deeper

On the Meta-Abstractness of the Abstract Abstract—Métha Maxwell

Ph.D. Qualifying Examination for Linguistics—Saudade Gezellig

On the Two Main Types of Computational Linguists—J. Random Linguist

Handy Definitions for Newcomers to the Field of Linguistics—Ken Miner and David J. Peterson

New Methods in Linguistic Laboratory Acquisition—Anthesteria Dionysia

Out of the Mouths of Linguists—Namtrah Nevets


Look What the Doggerel Dragged In

I Think That I Shall Never See—Bill Spruiell

The Compleat Linguist—John-Boy Walton

When I Heard the Learn’d Linguist—Sophrosyne Enchiridion

English on the edge—Terence MacNamee

Nursery Rhymes From Linguistics Land—Yune O. Hūū, II


The Immoral Imperative Mood

More Murphy’s Laws for Linguists—Trey Jones & Bill Spruiell

Ten New Commandments for Linguists—Trey Jones, et al.


And Now a Word from Our Sponsor

New Advances in Morpheme Detoxification—D.O.G.M.A.

The Phone-of-the-Month Club—Advertisement

!Kanga Tribal Research Resort—Terry Mulkern


What Do You Mean, “Illogical”?

What Part of ‘No’ Don’t You Understand?—Strang Burton

Another Snag in Semantic Theory—Benoît de Cornulier

Everything Logicians Need to Know about Linguistics, but are (Posited to be) Afraid to Ask—Keith Slater, Trey Jones, and Two Anonymous Linguists from Omaha

Logical Fallacies for Winning Arguments and Influencing Decisions—F. “Al” Lacie, Ph.D.


Describing the Theoretically Indescribable

When Bad Informants Happen to Good Linguists—Michael M. T. Henderson

Two Varieties of Stromboli—Michael M. T. Henderson

First Footsteppings into the Barvalian Language—Metalleus


Effing the Theoretically Ineffable

On Google, Wikipedia, and The Development of The Internet—Fædrus Ϙ. Χ. Plaid’oh

More Glimpses into the Collective Subconscious—Fom Pop

On the Continuing Obvious Superiority of Relational Networks in Representing Just About Anything—S.M. Lockwood and D.G. Lamb

Regarding the Development and Decay of Mongolian Vowel Harmony: with Special Reference to Copernicus and Galileo—Robert I. Binnick


Not So New Media

Minimalism: The Movie—David Ingram

Word-TV—Brought to You by Unaccountable Network Executives

The Olde Yankee Grammarian—Elan Dresher

False Friends—Trey Jones


Administrivia

Collateral Descendant of Lingua Pranca—Style Sheet and Submission Guidelines—Eddy Turr



Volume CLVII, Number 2 (September 2009)

An Apology to Mathematicians—A Letter from the Apologetical Editor

Letters to the Editor

Lexicalist Sampson Found, Rescued—SpecGram Wire Services

The Kinetic Difference Between Imperative and Prohibitive—John Miaou

Where are the Vampire Linguists?—F. Ang Bangah

More Things You Didn’t Know You Didn’t Know—Madalena Cruz-Ferreira

On Dominance and Submissiveness in Cognitive Linguistics—Mongo Yalbag

CALL-Emulation as CALL-Transitioning Strategy: A Pilot Study—Oliver Jormid and Peetr Otkinsoover

Must Get Manuscripts/Fire Sale—Announcement from Panini Press

The Historicity of Texts and the Textuality of History—Book Announcement from Psammeticus Press

Titles in Fantasy Linguistics—Announcement from Scholartastic Books

Rasmus Rask Puzzle II—Rasmus vs Ethnologue!—Lila Rosa Grau


Volume CLVII, Number 1 (August 2009)

Sturm und Drang und Drang und Sturm—A Letter from the Managing Editor

Letters to the Editor

Pivotal Moments in the History of Linguistics—William C. Spruiell and Kean Kaufmann

Invisible Zeromorphs Are Easy to Miss—A Reply to Orange’s Cat—Hihau’arju Wahnsinnbetrunken

Je suis /hoze/—Chesterton Wilburfors Gilchrist, Jr.

An Official Confession—Sartoris Ojars Sampson

In Need of Manuscripts—Announcement from Panini Press

Naggu Rotteya and the Grammarian’s Stone—Announcement from Scholartastic Books

Solutions to Recent Puzzles—An Update from the Puzzle Editors


Volume CLVII, Number η (July 2009)

Summer Puzzle Mega Issue

ἀρξάσθων οἱ ἀγώναι—A Letter from the Managing Editor

Scrambled Linguist—Trey Jones

Self-Defining Puzzle—Swivelhips Smith, D.Phil.

Knights of the Linguistic Roundtable—Fergus Falls-Brainerd

Lingo Jumble—Orang Pendek, D.Sc. and Orang Mawas, Litt.D.

Rebus—Wulfila Bruinne, M.F.A., Ph.D.

E’s-y Cryptogram—Prof. Dr. phil. habil. Erlösende Einigkeit

Linguistic Story Time—Abbernathy Ljunqvist, M.B.A.

IPA Analogies—Dr. Watalodabaloni Überwoggle, B.F.E.

Mars Linguists—Prof. Yamātārājabhānasalagām Ouroboros

Word Search—Marco Manni Quadi-Suebi und Al P. Engermanen

Drop Kick the Quote—Phil Trum, Doctor of Linguology

Who’s Who in Linguistics—Dniester Ostrogoth, Ph.D. and Dnieper Ostrogoth, D.Phil.

FonoFutoshiki III—Ulfheðnar ber Sarkur

HashiWordakero—Lacuna Mamihlapinatapai

Rasmus Rask Puzzle I—Lila Rosa Grau

Akróstichon—Dr. Dr. Fortina Haecceity, M.D., Ph.D.

Everything That Linguists Have Always Wanted to Know About Logic—Prof. D. Innere Form

Et Al.—Nick Williams

/fənɛtɪk krɪptəgræm/—Moko Dude, Ph.D.

Verbal Arithmetic—Fnu Nmn Lnu, A.B.D.

Words of Dubious Roman Origin—Numerius Negidius et Aulus Agerius

Linguistic Equations—Prof. Lars Tyndskids and Dr. Jef Van Pijperzele

Famous Extracts—John Miaou

Crossword for Indo-Europeanists—Tim Pulju

Linguacrostic—Drs. Oniomania Succedaneum and Lex Quisquis, Ph.D.s

DIS(PLAY)FUL END(GAME)SOMELY—Maija Meikäläinen, Ph.D. and Matti Meikäläinen, J.D.

Double or Nothing—Schön “Sean” Kaunis, Ph.D.

Critical Readings in Linguistics Crossword Puzzle—Puzzle from Psammeticus Press

Mad Libitum—An Offering from the Puzzle Editors



Volume CLVI, Number 4 (June 2009)

A Bit-O-History—A Letter from the Managing Editor

Letters to the Editor

Pivotal Moments in the History of Linguistics—John Miaou

A Reanalysis of English Cat—Hoam L. E. Orange, Ph.D.

The Highly Variable Lexicon of 955—Extremely Rapid Diachronic Change (ERDC)—Medulla Oblonglotta

Theoretische Beispiele und beispielhafte Theorien—Book Announcement from Psammeticus Press

Crossword—Tim Pulju


Volume CLVI, Number 3 (May 2009)

Hájāmpájas—A Letter from the Managing Editor

Letters to the Editor

Pivotal Moments in the History of Linguistics—John Miaou and Kean Kaufmann

The Contest of the Longish Now

A very short comparison between UH and UG—Johannes Damascenus nach Campenhausen

Things You Didn’t Know You Didn’t Know—Madalena Cruz-Ferreira

Where No Researcher Should Tread—Cowell R. Augh, Ph.D.

Call for Manuscripts—Announcement from Panini Press

Dialect-Dependent Differences in Duration and Degree of Darkness—Book Announcement from Psammeticus Press

FonoFutoshiki II—Ulfheðnar ber Sarkur


Volume CLVI, Number 2 (April 2009)

“A Linguist’s Life is Pretty Dull”: A Letter from the Editor-at-Bat

Letters to the Editor

ODE TO ALCUIN—ANONYMOUS

Pivotal Moments in the History of Linguistics—John Miaou and Kean Kaufmann

Guidelines for the Behavior of Graduate Students of Phonetics—Felicity Conditions

The Language Jean—Maude Lévi-Sauce

Center Embedding Passives—A Call for Further Research—Advertisement

Gee, Your Name Looks Funny!—Book Announcement from Psammeticus Press

Crossword—Tim Pulju


Volume CLVI, Number 1 (March 2009)

And Now a Brief Message to/from Our Sponsors—A Letter from the Managing Editor

Letters to the Editor

An Advance Critique of the Psammeticus Press Contrastive Grammars Series Series—Anonymous

Linguists Need Prescriptivists (and probably Pig Latin, too)—Dr. Illiamway Afiresay, hDPay, Dr. Iamwill Iresaf, DPh, and Dr. Willopiamop Safopireop, PophopDop

No Escape From the Bremley Bump—Don’t Try Linguistic Analysis in the Privacy of Your Own Treehouse—Milton B. Radley, Ph.D.

A New Publishing House—Announcement from Panini Press

FonoFutoshiki—Ulfheðnar ber Sarkur

Classifieds—Advertisement



Volume CLV, Number 4 (February 2009)

Overheard in the Faculty Lounge—A Letter from the Managing Editor

Letters to the Editor

What is Linguistics Good For, Anyway?—Jonathan van der Meer

Redundantly Multilingual Pretension Markers in BWFSEDPRCLCEE—Saszkwacz Qumkwaat, Ph.D. & Yýŷỳ Yẙÿẙÿẙ, D.Phil.

The Phonetic Clarity Defect in the Drinker’s Speech—The language of cocktails and shooters—Dr. I.R. Superordinate

A SpecGram Crossword for Devoted SpecGram Readers and other Linguists and Researchers—Lila Rosa Grau

You Can Earn A Degree In Langualogy—Advertisement


Volume CLV, Number ζ (January 2009)

Special Supplemental Letter from the Editor

Survey of Linguistic Evidence of Meta-Consciousness in Tier-19 Terran Primates—Cëŏjpruustcrêrt êe Âgriüsturttâiy Fuördrêostsklanöukklėû Růŕskramnnuũrgciwä and Ëø Daerl stiic Uasŝăź swerz Ê


Volume CLV, Number 3 (December 2008)

The Escalator of Life—A Letter from the Managing Editor

Letters to the Editor

From the Department of Cheap Research: Melnick’s Thesis—Woody Ellen

How They Do It In Linguistics—James Crippen

A Poetic Meditation on English Spelling Rules and Reform For Two Contrasting Voices—Eysp L. Kore-Eckly

Αντιγόνη—From an Optimal and Theoretical, Pluri- and Interdisciplinary As Well As Transversal Perspective—D. Argyropoulou

Grammars in Contrast Series Series—Series of Series Announcement from Psammeticus Press

The Polyglot’s Magic Square—John Miaou


Volume CLV, Number 2 (November 2008)

Pride, Goethe, Before the Fall—A Letter from the Managing Editor

Letters to the Editor

The Symptoms and Warning Signs of Framework Psychosis—Dr. Pill, M.D.

Murphy’s Law as Applied to Field Linguistics—James Crippen

Cartoon Theories of Linguistics—Part 14—Gricean Implicature—Phineas Q. Phlogiston, Ph.D.

HanjieLinguru III—Trey Jones


Volume CLV, Number ε (October 2008)

Special Supplemental Letter from the Editor

A Short History of American Linguistics—Tim Pulju


Volume CLV, Number 1 (September 2008)

SpecGram and the World—Letters from the International Advisory Council of Speculative Grammarian

Letters to the Editor

The complications posed to the comprehension and utterance of the English language with the advent of the influence and infiltration of the invading non-adjective and non-adverbial alien invaders in simple sentences: a look at English speech post-millennium-bug.—I.R. Superordinate

A Gentle Introduction to Varieties of Nominalism—Perry Menides

Reanalysis of Spanish by Naïve Linguists—Chesterton Wilburfors Gilchrist, Jr.

Cartoon Theories of Linguistics—Part 13—Langue vs. Parole—Phineas Q. Phlogiston, Ph.D.

Classifieds



Volume CLIV, Number 4 (August 2008)

The Dog Days of Summer: A Letter from the Nordic Editor—Rötmånad Mätäkuu

Letter to the Editor

The Life And Death Of An Anonymous Verb—John Miaou

20 Steps to Decide Whether You Should Take That Course—C. V. Fonologist

Language Reveals Origins of Divinity—Michael Ramachendra

Center Embedding—the Pivotal Role of Military History—Hippolytus Drome, PhD, OBE

The Bilemma in the Bilingual Brain—Madalena Cruz-Ferreira

Cartoon Theories of Linguistics—Part 12—Syllables—Phineas Q. Phlogiston, Ph.D.

HanjieLinguru II—Trey Jones


Volume CLIV, Number 3 (July 2008)

Lucy Lloyd, Lady Llinguist, and Wild-haired Wilhelm—A Letter from the Managing Editor

Letter to the Editor

From the Department of Cheap Research: How to Have a Flashing-Zapping Machine—Woody Ellen

Cartoon Theories of Linguistics—Part XI—Prescriptivism vs. Descriptivism—Phineas Q. Phlogiston, Ph.D.

Swinging Predicates and the Mobile Model of Linguistic Typology—Śiva Kalyāṇ

On Slurping—Alan Daudin

An Interpreter’s Dictionary of Linguistic Argumentation—Psammeticus Press

Transform Puzzles III—The Final Showdown—Jonathan van der Meer


Volume CLIV, Number 2 (June 2008)

Speculative Chaosillation!—A Letter from the Managing Editor

Letters to the Editor

Castilian Language Chastised, Portugal Says “We Told You So”—Major Sharpe

Cartoon Theories of Linguistics—Part J—Feeding and Bleeding—Erin Taylor

The Universal WH-eather—Indeductivist Grapho-Synoptic Introduction to the Principles-and-Principles Prolegomena of a Theory of WH-Fixedness—Daniele Virgillito

Center Embedding as Historical Inevitability (not cultural imperative, or contact-induced innovation, or anything else anyone will want to claim)—Eve M.Adam

I Told You it was Not the Whole (Number) Story—An Anthropological Linguistic Followup on Non-Integral Person in Åriðmatçəl Verbs—Claude Searsplainpockets & Helga von Helganschtein y Searsplainpockets

HanjieLinguru—Trey Jones


Volume CLIV, Number 1 (May 2008)

The Linguistics Journal That Needs No Introduction—A Letter from the Managing Editor

Letters to the Editor

Announcement—Class Action Settlement Reached

From the Department of Cheap Research: Easy Money—Woody Ellen

UXn: The Implications of Sampson’s Proof of Universal Science—Bjorn-Bob Weaselflinger

Center Embedding as Cultural Imperative (not contact-induced innovation)—Michael Palin

This is Not the Whole (Number) Story—An Anthropological Linguistic Study of Non-Integral Person in Åriðmatçəl Verbs—Claude Searsplainpockets

Cartoon Theories of Linguistics—Part 九—Lexicostatistics vs. Glottochronology—Phineas Q. Phlogiston, Ph.D.

Linguistics for Lazy People—Psammeticus Press

Transform Puzzles II—Now With Enhanced Sound!—Jonathan van der Meer



Volume CLIII, Number 4 (March 2008)

All Hail Metalleus!—A Letter from the Managing Editor

Letters to the Editor

The Derivation Of Moses From Middletown—Metalleus

Shhhhhhh! Don’t Tell Anyone—An Anthropological Linguistic Study of the Hallucinogenic Language of the Noyd—Claude Searsplainpockets

An Introduction to Classical Generative Psychology—Peter Racz

Palinilap Cimordromic—Center Embedded Passives—Küçük Kaynaranyak Küçük

X-bar Diagram Acquisition—Tel Monks

Cartoon Theories of Linguistics—Part ж—The Trouble with NLP—Phineas Q. Phlogiston, Ph.D.

SpecGram Suzie!—Psammeticus Entertainment

Transform Puzzles I—Vaguely Linguistic Transforms—Jonathan van der Meer


Volume CLIII, Number 3 (January 2008)

Chomskadamus Predicts The Future—A Letter Channeled through Editor-at-Large Jonathan van der Meer

Letters to the Editor

Beowulf ond Godsylla—Tom Weller

Language and Psilofotismology—Tel Monks

Moundsbar Numerals—Metalleus

Extract from an Interview with Eglantine Lady Fantod, Dowager Professor of Philology at Cambridge University—Freya Shipley

An Analysis of easy-Type Adjectives—A. Word

Cartoon Theories of Linguistics—Part ז—Synchronic vs. Diachronic—Phineas Q. Phlogiston, Ph.D.

Prepositional Propositions: About, Of, On, Under, and In—Psammeticus Press

Masyu Ortograpiu II—Linguistic Boogaloo—Trey Jones

Classified Ads


Volume CLIII, Number δ (December 2007)

Special Supplemental Letter from the Editor

Modern and Historical Graphical Representations of Structural Relationships in Spoken and Written English Sentential Utterances—Nattapoŋ Yunloŋ Seuŋyoŋ


Volume CLIII, Number 2 (November 2007)

Get Your Handbaskets Here—A Letter from the Managing Editor

Letters to the Editor

The Phonology Class—Metalleus

Linguistic Koans—Z. En ‘Bud’ Dhist

Safety precautions for data mining expeditions—Prof. S.N.L. Ingqvist

The Laziest Language on Earth—An Anthropological Linguistic Study of the Perry So-so—Claude Searsplainpockets

Inside SpecGram: A view from the front lines—Skip Tacular

Cartoon Theories of Linguistics—Part ζ—Physics vs. Physics Envy—Phineas Q. Phlogiston, Ph.D.

Dialect Continuum Language Studies—Psammeticus Institute

HitoriGuistiku II—Now in an alphabet you don’t already know—Trey Jones


Volume CLIII, Number 1 (September 2007)

Bric-a-Brain—A Shameless Plug from the Managing Editor

Letters to the Editor

Linguistic Emissions Reduction Sought—SpecGram Wire Services

Moundsbar Consonantism—Metalleus

Preliminary Report on B—, one of the Tantric languages of Hm-hmumble-rsia—Freya Shipley

A Possible Prional Source for Linguistic Degeneration from Prolonged Ailuric Exposure—B. Bubo, T. Tyto, S. Strix, and A. Asio

The Lexicalist Agenda—Exposing the Myths—Quentin Popinjay Snodgrass, Ph.D.

The Hidden Language of Public Seduction—An Anthropological Linguistic Study of Spanyol—Claude Searsplainpockets

Cartoon Theories of Linguistics—Part E—Phonetics vs. Phonology—Hilário Parenchyma, C.Phil.

Monster LingDoku—Trey Jones



Volume CLII, Number 4 (July 2007)

Text Tricks Issue

Phonemes я No Longer Phun—A Letter from the Managing Editor

Letters to the Editor

The Sorno Script—Metalleus

Recision and Precall—Accuracy Measures for the 21st Century—Jonathan van der Meer

The Taalbergen—Wanejem Tii

On Apparent “Systematic Suppletion” in Ksotre—Angus Æ. Balderdash, Esq. and Julienne Autolycus, Ph.D.

The First Annual SpecGram Phonological Spelling Bee—Announcement

Linguistica ad—New Journal Series Announcement from Psammeticus Press

Cartoon Theories of Linguistics—Part IV—Statistical Machine Translation—Phineas Q. Phlogiston, Ph.D.

HomonimoKakuro—Trey Jones


Volume CLII, Number 3 (May 2007)

Somewhat Obscure Phonetic Symbol Issue

...The Monkey Chased the Weasel—A Letter from the Managing Editor

Letters to the Editor

From the Department of Cheap Research—Woody Ellen

Moundsbar Multilingualism—Metalleus

Anti-Rhetoric: A Critical Methodology for Critically Assessing Critical Thinking—Butch McBastard

Morphological Spectroscopy: An Anthropological Linguistic Study of the Wuh Nwur Dianz—Claude Searsplainpockets

Brother, Can You Paradigm?—Harris Risman

Money-Making Titles Series—Book Series Announcement from Psammeticus Press

Cartoon Theories of Linguistics Part 3—Morphological Typology—Phineas Q. Phlogiston, Ph.D.

FonoNurikabe—Trey Jones


Volume CLII, Number 2 (March 2007)

Human Language Appreciation Issue

lim ∑ 1/n → ∞—A Letter from the Managing Editor

Letters to the Editor

Moundsbar Connections—Metalleus

“Weee!”—The First/Second Singular/Plural—Christopher Wood

TLAs DOA? TBD!—Claude Searsplainpockets

A Braille Orthography for tlhIngan—Stovepipe Wells-Jensen

Systematic Suppletion: An Investigation of Ksotre Case Marking—Lawrence R. Muddybanks, Ph.D.

The Other Sino-Tibetan Languages—Book Announcement from Psammeticus Press

International Name Testing Service—Advertisement

Cartoon Theories of Linguistics—Part B—Ergativity—Phineas Q. Phlogiston, Ph.D.

HitoriGuistiku—Trey Jones


Volume CLII, Number 1 (January 2007)

More Freakin’ Quotes Issue

To Whom It May Concern—A Letter from the Managing Editor

Re: Choose Your Own Career in Linguistics—A Letter to the Editor—H I A W Papi, D. Litt, M. Phil (Oxon.), Ph. D. (Oxon.)

Assistant Professor’s Song—J. M. Unger

Pragmatist Arrested, Charged—Associated Linguists Press

A Lost Chapter from The Little Prince—Olaf Olafson

How To Make A Linguistic Theory—Metalleus

An optimality-theoretic account of split-ergativity in Southern Quiznos—Hans Forz

Book Review: Point’s A Grammar of the Lederhosen Tai—Enrich Barbarosa del la Boca, Ph.D

Linguistic Linguistics—Book Announcement from Psammeticus Press

The Lingo! A car designed for linguists... by linguists—Psammeticus Motors

Cartoon Theories of Linguistics—Part I—Non-Configurational Languages—Phineas Q. Phlogiston, Ph.D.

Masyu Ortograpiu—Trey Jones


Volume CLII, Number γ (December 2006)

Special Supplemental Letter from the Editor

Shigudo, Reluctantly—Sir Edmund C. Gladstone-Chamberlain



Volume CLI, Number 4 (October 2006)

Special Shades of Grey Issue

Some Letters from Some Editors

Letters to the Editor

The InformantMetalleus

The Quotta and the Quottiod: Punctuation Designed for Linguists, by LinguistsVére Çélen

The Language of PrehistoryMerritt Greenberg and Joseph Ruhlen

Evidential Complexity and Language Loss in Pinnacle SherpaKeith Slater

Eating the WindAn Anthropological Linguistic Study of the XoŋryClaude Searsplainpockets

The Chiasmus Linguistics ProjectBook Series Announcement from Psammeticus Press

Samurai LingDoku: LingDokuBut So Much More SoTrey Jones


Volume CLI, Number β (September 2006)

Special Supplemental Letter from the Editor

On the Necessity of a Tri-Branching Corpse—Tirizdi, translated by Quentin Popinjay Snodgrass, Ph.D.


Volume CLI, Number 3 (July 2006)

Canadian Edition

We Got One Wet, And Now They Are Multiplying—Letters from All of the Editors

Letters to the Editor

Linguists Seek Increased Funding To Fight Potential Aphasic Flu Epidemic—SpecGram Wire Services

Topicalization In Moundsbar—Metalleus

Chickenese—A Grammatical Sketch—Damon Lord

Human Children, Even More So Than Dolphins, Recognize Names—Peter Ur de Males

Hunting the Elusive Labio-Nasal—Claude Searsplainpockets

Language Documentation Series—Call for Papers from Psammeticus Press

LingDoku II—More, Better, Harder—Trey Jones


Volume CLI, Number 2 (April 2006)

Computer Language Appreciation Issue

Hello World!—A Letter from the Managing Editor

Ask Mr Linguistics Person—Letters

New speech disorder linguists contracted discovered!—Yreka Bakery

Language Acquisition Device Found—R. Davis

Parable of the Two Kingdoms—Metalleus

Speech Disorders as Indicators of Potential for Lyrical Success—Ozzie Tchomzkij

Generative Speech Recognition: A competence model of ASR—Stanislaus Gorky

Re-Rating the World’s Languages—Waxaklahun Ubah K’awil and José Felipe Hernandez y Fernandez

U.S. Government Linguists in Action—A. Nonymous, B. Nonymous and C. Nonymous

An Optimality-Theoretic Account of the History of Linguistics: Past, Present, Future—Book Announcement from Psammeticus Press

Review of Pulju’s An Optimality-Theoretic Account of the History of Linguistics: Past, Present, Future—TJP

Review of Whettam’s Linguistics: an extraordinarily short introduction—A. Crostic

LingDoku—Like SuDoku, But For Linguists—Trey Jones


Volume CLI, Number 1 (January 2006)

Yet Another Mega Quote Issue

How It Is Hanging—A Letter from a Junior Editorial Associate

Letters to the Editor

The Voiced Snore Debunked—Metalleus

Post-Prescriptivist Performance Piece—Piotr Pablo Paulsen

Double-Sided Copy Theory—Teal Bissell Doggett, Candace Cardinal, Nathan Sanders, and Adam Ussishkin

The Wrathful Dispersion Controversy: A Canadian Perspective—Q. Pheevr

The Linguistics Wars—Dæriam Landec, Ph.D.

Call For Proposals—The Endangered Languages Armamentation Programme

Valence and Violence: How Language Shapes Political Acts—Book Announcement from Psammeticus Press



Volume CL, Number α (November 2005)

Special Supplemental Letter from the Editor

Choose Your Own Career in Linguistics


Volume CL, Number 4 (October 2005)

Special FEMA Appreciation Issue

How To Get Published—A Letter from the Archgrammacion

Letters to the Editor

Poetry Corner

On the Terrible De-Grammaticalization in Hujulukinat—Hans Forz

More On Moundsbar—Metalleus

The Assumption of Slang—Jonathan van der Meer

How To Get A Ph.D. Without Really Trying—Dr. Wolf Kitty, B.S. Ph.D.

The Γραμματο-Χαοτικον Manifesto—Announcement

How to Cheat at Linguistics—Book Announcement from Psammeticus Press


Volume CL, Number 3 (July 2005)

Special Swimsuit Issue

Ah, Summer!—A Letter from the Managing Editor

Letters to the Editor

Counterpoint: Why Linguistics Doesn’t Care—Xerxes Yuniqqi Zikiwik

Gavagai with Peppers—Rob van der Sandt

Paramount Seeks To Leverage Linguistic Capital—SpecGram Wire Services

A New Mechanism For Contact-Induced Change: Evidence From Maritime Languages—H.D. Onesimus

The Classical Roots of South America—O. Popoi

The European Dialects of Cheese—Book Announcement from Psammeticus Press


Volume CL, Number 2 (April 2005)

Black Leather Issue

An April Fool—A Letter from the Managing Editor

Letters to the Editor

The Oxford Comma: A Solution—Eliza Doolittle

A Classical Vignette—O. Popoi

A Preliminary Field Guide to Linguists, Part Two—Athanasious Schadenpoodle

Point: Why Linguistics is Not a Science—Alpberta Cedium-Ndelemeiyerov

Linguistic Topology—I. Juana Pelota-Grande

Pluralses—Book Announcement from Psammeticus Press


Volume CL, Number 1 (January 2005)

Special Double Double Issue

One Hundred and Fifty Romans, or the French Sky—A Letter from the Managing Editor

Letters to the Editor

Poetry Corner

A Corpus-Linguistic Approach to Demography—Morten H. Albert

Phonemic Color—Tong Shunming

A Preliminary Field Guide to Linguists, Part One—Athanasious Schadenpoodle

Linguistic Deskwork—Book Announcement from Psammeticus Press

Special Double Double Issue



Volume CXLIX, Number 4 (October 2004)

The Bodaciously Quotatious Mega Issue

Selling Out for Fun and Profit—A Letter from the Managing Editor

Letters to the Editor

Up the Mind’s Nose; With the Mind’s FingerAn Anthropological Linguistic Study of the Pιčkιt—Claude Searsplainpockets

Are Turkish and Amharic Related? Are They Ever!—April May June

Los Eres y el Erre—Trey Jones

Language as a Virus from Space—Announcement


Volume CXLIX, Number 3 (July 2004)

Brood X Magiciada Super Issue

So That Explains It!—A Letter from the Managing Editor

Letters to the Editor

World’s Linguistic Fundamentals Sound—SpecGram Wire Services

A Meta-Analysis of Article Length vs Quality—Alfraad vonn Güügënschnëchtën & Mo d’Qi

Infinity and Beyond: A Prolegomena—Bjorn-Bob Weaselflinger

Regular Isomorphisms of Categorization in the Apathetic Informant—Angus Æ. Balderdash, Esq.

The Original English Movement—Announcement


Volume CXLIX, Number 2 (April 2004)

Describe This!—A Letter from the Managing Editor

Letters to the Editor

Introducing Hawelshi’ian—Pidge N. Kriolio

The Biological Basis Of Universal Grammar—Maiya Sershen

The Pied Piper Revisited—Sachsen von Lichtgeschwindigkeit

Cultural Grammaticalization—Sam Shovel

An Etymological Dictionary of Cognitive-Stratificational Linguistics—Advertisement


Volume CXLIX, Number 1 (January 2004)

From These Ashes...—A Letter from the Managing Editor

Letter to the Editor—Minimal Forests

A 21st Century Proposal for English Spelling Reform—H. Sanderson Chambers III

Exposing the fallacy of Creole and Pidgin genesis—Cornelius DuBois

Adaptive Heuristic Caching in Name Recall—Trey Jones



Volume CXLVIII, Number 4 (March 1998)

A Letter from the Managing Editor

Multiple Choice: The Ultimate Algorithm—Gotthilf Neuerblumenfeld

Comestible Morphosyntax: The Effects of Food Intake On Grammatical Performance—H.D. Onesimus

The Original Language of Winnie-the-Pooh—Aureliano Buendía

Announcement—SpecAnth


Volume CXLVIII, Number 3 (February 1998)

A Letter from the Managing Editor

A Sociolinguistic Study of Bilingualism in the Rio Grande Valley—Hiroko Nakamura and Jimmy Battaglia

A Reconsideration of the Sino-Kiowan Problem—Tim Pulju

Toward a Universal Typology of Noun Phrases—Cynthia Polarczik


Odds and Ends:

Legal Proceedings—A. Katz

Obituary: Lucas Carl Hayfield—Dave Fleck

Poetry Corner—Keith Slater

Call for Papers


Volume CXLVIII, Number 2 (January 1998)

Also Sprach Zarathustra—A Letter from the Managing Editor

Toward a New Classification of the European Languages—Medved Sem

Foreign Policy Recommendations for a Brighter Linguistics Future—M. Hadrian Thumpsem et al.

How Many is Umpteen?—Ura Hogg

Phonological Theory and Language Acquisition—Notker Balbulus

Book Ads


Volume CXLVIII, Number 1 (March 1997)

Ik Qiþa Izwis—A Letter from the Managing Editor

The BS Default Node: A Reply to Luvver—I.M. Shirley Wright

Grammatical Speculation: The Black Market in Ill-Gotten Morphemes—Alan (Sum) Greenspanner

Gavagai—Ansel Adams

Recursive Processing: An Anthropological Linguistic Study of the Benhirloŋtam—Claude Searsplainpockets

Book Reviews—Sérgio Meira

Book Ads



Volume CXLVII, Number 4 (April 1993)

Sing to the Mountains, Sing to the Hills—Letter from the Editor

The Hyperactive Voice: An Anthropological Linguistic Study of the Oboioboioboiwikantsitstil—Claude Searsplainpockets

Gothic for Travellers—Anita Judzis

Linguistics: The Ultimate Field of Study?—I.M. Shirley Wright

Grammaticalization in an Inflated Series of Signs (or, Excerpts from the Swollen Tongue)—Frederic de Saucisson

Minimal Forests: The Threat of Linguistic Devastation as a Result of Deforestation—Kray Z. Greenan & E. Monn Hopp

The BS Node: Proof that Lines Can Cross—Knotta Gnome Luvver

Spaz Attack in the Corner (Cartoon)—III


Volume CXLVII, Number 3 (March 1993)

Sic Orsus Vates—Letter from the Editor

Letters to the Editor

The Curious History of the Σπεκουλάτωρ Γραμματεὺς—Donald Reindl

An Argument for Them—Meemigh Selfin Aye

How to Spot Fabricated Data—Tim Pulju

Eidetic Pronouns: An Anthropological Linguistic Study of the Winodanugai—Claude Searsplainpockets

The Etymology of Timothy—Eura U. Pertú

Phonetics for the Hearing Impaired—(name withheld)

Twenty Special Forms of Rhetoric—Dawn B. Seely

Spaz Attack in the Corner (Cartoon)—Don & III


Volume CXLVII, Number 2 (February 1993)

Diary of a Madman—Letter from the Editor

The Boustrophedon-Plummerfeld Hypothesis—Jay Trones

Phonological Ergativity: The Greatest Linguistic Discovery of the Century—Keith Slater

Subliminal Linguistics—Trey Jones

Progress Report #5—The Center for Proactive Neurolinguistics

Notes on the Kzinti Language—Arthur Saxtorph

Indo-European Crossword Puzzle No. 1—Donald Reindl


Volume CXLVII, Number 1 (January 1993)

My World and Welcome To It—Letter from the Editor

Basic Ithacan—Trey Jones

Relative Size of Broca’s Area and Facility in Speech Production—Center for Proactive Neurolinguistics

New Techniques in Language Learning—Ima U. Pur

The Future of the English Dual—Jay Trones

As to Phronology—Skippy Id

Dup Evidentials—Tim Pulju

Right Hemisphere Damage as a Result of Exposure to Slovene Humor—D. Reindl

Scientific Linguistics—Coffey and Matney

The Tribesman—Aya Katz

Advertisement—American Anthropophagist



Associated Journals


The Journal of the Linguistic Society of South-Central New Caledonia:
Volume XVI, Number 1: Langue du Monde (September 1991)

Out on Parole—Rob Norris, Esq.

Noise in the System—Letters to the Editor

Vicious Overlap—Keith W. Slater and Rob Norris

Conversations with the Arch-Linguist (Part 1)—Jim Brentley

Poetry Corner

Savage Field Work—Dr. X. Shr

On the Reality of Autosegmental Representation—Horace Butterman

Brain Busters

Classified Advertisements


Volume I, Number 4: Gaugauh Kamadugha (August 1991)

Publication Information

On Posture And Expletives—Uriah Dillsworth

Ndaba Forms of Address—Hiroko Watanabe

Presidential Speech Disorders—James McCullough

Is Manateean a Delphinic Creole?—Horatio Phocaena

“Hoist ’er up and let ’er rip”: Androcentrism further Explored—Lynn Poulton

Saussure and Bloomfield: The Question of Influence—Tim Pulju

The Role of Language in Telepathic Communication—Gebhard von Blucher and Moira Daugherty

Review of Mathematical Games, Puzzles, and Fallacies by Sydney Lamb—Henry Morgan

Poetry Corner: The Sinking Of Linear Thinking—Aya Katz


Volume I, Number 3: Better Words and Morphemes (May 1991)

Publication Information

Crossword For Linguists Solution—Doug Files

Refining Autosegmental Phonology—Morris Goldparsky

Androcentrism in Linguistics—Angela Dworkin

Poetry Corner

On The Indexico-Relational Inductivity Hypothesis—Ed Goff

Regarding wombat—Tim Pulju

Bivalent Meaning in Matrix Adverbs—Dave Kathman

Towards a Perfect Definition of the Term “Sign”—Louis Capet

Review of Zhang, Jiannan, The Relationships between Processes and Participants in Chinese: A Cognitive Approach—Jan Vanderkeller

Laborers Needed—Advertisement


Volume I, Number 2: World of Language (February 1991)

Publication Information

Old Professor Hockett—James Riley Whitcomb

Academic News

Progress in South American Protolinguistics—Robert Norris

Rating the World’s Languages—Dikembe Mutombo and John Thompson

Saving French Discontinuous Negatives—Tim Pulju

The Structure of Bee Communication by James Grant Carmichael III (review)—James Grant Carmichael III

Crossword for Linguists—Doug Files

Advertisements


Volume I, Number 1: Linguist of Fortune (November 1990)

Publication Information

The Learner’s Task—Keith Slater

Advancing Pedagogical Methodology in the Linguistics Classroom—Shr Ji Wei

Divine Unification Grammar—Ælfgar λ. Garcia

Discourse Antipassivity in Indonesian—Mokele Mbembe

Exploring Penguin Causatives—Robert F. Scott

Classified Ads



Babel:
Volume I, Number 3 (September 1990)

A Letter from the Publishers

Look What The Postman Dragged InLetters to the Editor

The Dangers of Publishing Preliminary FindingsPablo Palabras

Refutation of the OED’s List of Spurious WordsDouglas S. Files

A Laboratory Test of the Sapir-Whorf HypothesisAndrew Jenkins

It’s 2 A.M., Do You Know What Your RNA is Doing?A. Real Scientist-Person

The Priority of Written LanguageAndreas Paplopogous

Sociohistorical Linguistic Semiotics and Systemic TheoryLynn Poulton

Arguments Against English Spelling ReformHermes Trismegistus


Volume I, Number 2 (April 1990)

Publication Information

Our Readers Mouth OffLetters to the Editor

Classifying an Andean LanguageRodrigo Diaz

LanguageThe Failure of Modern PhilosophyDr. Georg Strudelfest

Tagmemics of StratificationalismR.W. Jackson

A Warning for LinguistsKeith Slater

Greek ParticlesR.S. Sriyatha

The Semantics and Pragmatics of Voice Systems: A Functional Analysis by Carrie Cameron (Review)Zoltan Lazar


Volume I, Number 1 (March 1990)

Publication Information

Letters to the Editor

Discourse Gender in Hakka CreoleKeith Slater

Moving Greek LettersGianlorenzo Bernini

Perpetuation of Traditional Gender Roles by European LanguagesDouglas S. Files

A Reinterpretation of Some Aspects of the Indo-European ExpansionWilliam C. Spruiell

A Note on BORROWINGJulius Obote

Dictionary of Essential Linguistics Vocabulary by Crystal Gayle (Review)Jean-Pierre LeBeau



Psammeticus Quarterly:
Volume XVI, Number 4 (August 1989)

From the Editors

Letters to Atticus

The Poets’ Corner

The Native Speaker Fallacy—Keith Slater

[redacted] [redacted] [redacted]—J. Fraser Bennett

Variation in the English Indefinite Article—Tim Pulju

English is the Original Language—Hans Melkor


Volume XVI, Number 3 (May 1989)

From the Editors

Vox Populi—Letters to the Editor

Mountain Dialect Baffles East European Phonologists—G. D. Duvkal

The Effect of Coffee Consumption on Adults’ Average MLU at the Breakfast Table—Suzy X.

Null Grammar: A Lexico-centric Approach—Keith W. Slater

The Effect of Lax Rearing Practices on Speech Patterns—Douglas S. Files

Reconstructed Proto-Franco-Sino-Indonesian—Tim Pulju

The Geological/Climatological Significance of Finno-Ugric Roots in Colloquial Dolphin—Flembleyt Ismeretlen

Noam Chomsky’s Syntactic Structures (Review)—Robert E. Lee

Positions Available—Advertisement


Volume XVI, Number 2 (February 1989)

From the Editors

Reader’s Forum—Letters to the Editors

Pisces’ Playpen

Language Acquisition: A Government-Subsidized Model—Carol A. Miller

New Directions in the Teaching of Human Languages—Tim Pulju

Pitfalls in Second Language Pedagogy—Douglas S. Files

To Be Or Not To Be Passivized—Joel Boyd

Towards a Practical Model of Effective Field Research—Keith W. Slater

The Capitol Area Linguistics League—Advertisement


Volume XVI, Number 1 (November 1988)

From the Editors

Viewer MailLetters to the Editors

Linguistic News

Panel Discussion AnnouncementGreater Lansing Linguistics Association

Pictures of Lily (Cartoon)Alessandro Filipepi

Granular PhonologyKeith Slater

A Stratificational Approach to Making Macaroni and CheeseTim Pulju

Pinkerton-Umlaut’s Back to Basics: The Real Truth About Language (Review)Dave Kathman

Call for PapersInternational Dolphin Linguistics Society

Call for PapersPsammeticus Quarterly



Lingua Pranca


The editors of SpecGram are very happy to announce that we have secured permission from the editors and previous publishers to reprint these classic satirical linguistics anthologies, previously unassociated with this journal:

Lingua Pranca:
Lingua Pranca (June 1978)

Dedication

Introduction

Academia Nuts

The Linguist’s Self-Definer for Humanistic Greek and Latin Lingo—and other terms—Robert Rankin, et al.

Autodescriptives—Leonard Talmy

Recent Advances in Linguistics—Metalleus

Important Idioms in Contemporary Science—Metalleus

Another Horrifying Cliché—Evan Smith

Another Great Moment in Linguistick Historie—Evan Smith

Ph.D. Qualifying Examination for Linguists—Keith Mountford

Dates in the Month of May that Are of Interest to Linguists—James D. McCawley

Rule—Metalleus

All Booked Up, or Joie de Livre

Agronomic Representation of Muddles in Linguistic Theory—Peter Cannings

New Works In Linguistics Press Catalog for Winter 1974—Elan Dresher

To Deify Roman Jakobson, Volume XXV—Bruno Dončikov and I. M. Slon

From Bad to Verse

Stepfather Goose or Just Take a Gander—U No Hu

Language’s Revenge—Terence G. MacNamee

When I Heard the Learn’d Syntactician—W. Kruck

The Anguish Lenglage II—Tom Ernst

Syntactic Strictures

Asterisk-Insertion—Michael M. T. Henderson

On Some Acoustic Correlates of Isoglossy—Robert L. Rankin

Linguistic Contributions To The Formal Theory Of Big-Game Hunting—R. Mathiesen

On Revising And Extending Wh-Movement—D. Terence Nuclear

Metalinguistic Autoreference—Benoît de Cornulier

Ambiguity In Action: A Bawdy Count—Norman C. Stageberg

Linguistics: A Study in Hopeless Clauses—Metalleus

Morpheme Addiction—Susan Wishnetsky

A Survey of Neighboring Disciplines: Gastronomy, Music, and Journalism

Current Issues in Gastronomy—Elan Dresher and Norbert Hornstein

Linguistic Influences In Recent Research On Music—James D. McCawley

Word-TV—Tom Ernst

Doer’s Profile—Evan Smith

Deriver’s Ed

On the Go ~ Went Alternation: A Contribution (?) to the Generative Phonology of English—Bernard Comrie

Note on the peH3 Root in French—Andrée Borillo, et al.

A Strange Datum From Deep Onomastic Space—Fom Pop

The Derivation of ‘Moses’ from ‘Middletown’—Metalleus

Of Labs and Lobes

Etymology and Definitions—Joseph P. Stemberger

Empty Speech: The Non-Certifiably Brain-Damaged—Loraine Obler

Bilingualism in Rats: A Ten-Year Study—Loraine Obler

Conversation as Paranoia—Hugo Aelgh

Natural Phonological Processes in Adult and Child Speech—David Ingram

Theolinguistics

An Iñupik Linguistic Fragment (or, the Last Grammarian)—Metalleus

The Ten Commandments: Linguistic Universals—Evan Smith

On Defining the Blaspheme Revisited—Harvey Minkoff

Documents of Historical Interest

Original Call for Papers—Tom Ernst & Evan Smith


Son of Lingua Pranca (November 1979)

Disclaimer

Introduction—Tom Ernst & Evan Smith

How Much is that Dogma in the Window?

The Abstract Abstract—Edith Maxwell

On Being Further Tempted From Go to Went—Bernard Comrie

Spore Theory: A Contribution to the Study of the Biological Foundations of Natural Language—David Athletesfoot

A Taxonomy of Argument Schemata in Metatheoretical Discussion of Syntax or Name That Tune—G.R.A.M.M.A.R.

A New Basic Word Order: VOV—Arnold P. Fasnacht

On Being Polite to Women in Slavic Languages—Émil Schouwiniste-Pigge

Quote While You’re Ahead

Great Moments in Linguistic History

Lesser-Known Quotes on Meaning—Th. R. Hofmann

T-Shirt Logos—Peggy McCardle and Ruth Armentrout

Pseudo-Dictionary of Pseudo-Linguistic Pseudo-Terminology—D*LF*N

Going Around in Linguistic Circles

“Language” Characteristics in Certain Higher Primates (Professors of Education)—Charles Bishop

You’ll Be A Master Polyglot Once You’ve Signed Up To Be A Member Of The Language-Of-The-Month Club—Bruno Dončikov

O Science Method—Metalleus

Expansions of Murphy’s Law for Linguists (mostly)—Metalleus

(Untitled)—James D. McCawley

A Neurolinguistic Analysis of Sex and Second Language Learning: A Note—Loraine Obler

The Great Yale Autodescriptives List—Michael A. Covington

Scene-Arias, or All the World’s a Stage

As the Word Turns—Tom Ernst and Evan Smith

My Fair Linguist, or Male-Pygion—Tom Ernst and Evan Smith

How Time Flies When You’re Having Phones

German in Indo-European—Namtrah Nevets

Speech Errors as Evidence for Historical Generative Phonology—Joseph Paul Stemberger

Reconstructing the Proto-Indo-Europeans—Joseph Paul Stemberger



And after a hiatus of thirty years, the editors of SpecGram have put together a third anthology with the support of the original editors:

Collateral Descendant of Lingua Pranca (October 2009)

Disclaimer

Introduction

Piled Higher and Deeper

On the Meta-Abstractness of the Abstract Abstract—Métha Maxwell

Ph.D. Qualifying Examination for Linguistics—Saudade Gezellig

On the Two Main Types of Computational Linguists—J. Random Linguist

Handy Definitions for Newcomers to the Field of Linguistics—Ken Miner and David J. Peterson

New Methods in Linguistic Laboratory Acquisition—Anthesteria Dionysia

Out of the Mouths of Linguists—Namtrah Nevets

Look What the Doggerel Dragged In

I Think That I Shall Never See—Bill Spruiell

The Compleat Linguist—John-Boy Walton

When I Heard the Learn’d Linguist—Sophrosyne Enchiridion

English on the edge—Terence MacNamee

Nursery Rhymes From Linguistics Land—Yune O. Hūū, II

The Immoral Imperative Mood

More Murphy’s Laws for Linguists—Trey Jones & Bill Spruiell

Ten New Commandments for Linguists—Trey Jones, et al.

And Now a Word from Our Sponsor

New Advances in Morpheme Detoxification—D.O.G.M.A.

The Phone-of-the-Month Club—Advertisement

!Kanga Tribal Research Resort—Terry Mulkern

What Do You Mean, “Illogical”?

What Part of ‘No’ Don’t You Understand?—Strang Burton

Another Snag in Semantic Theory—Benoît de Cornulier

Everything Logicians Need to Know about Linguistics, but are (Posited to be) Afraid to Ask—Keith Slater, Trey Jones, and Two Anonymous Linguists from Omaha

Logical Fallacies for Winning Arguments and Influencing Decisions—F. “Al” Lacie, Ph.D.

Describing the Theoretically Indescribable

When Bad Informants Happen to Good Linguists—Michael M. T. Henderson

Two Varieties of Stromboli—Michael M. T. Henderson

First Footsteppings into the Barvalian Language—Metalleus

Effing the Theoretically Ineffable

On Google, Wikipedia, and The Development of The Internet—Fædrus Ϙ. Χ. Plaid’oh

More Glimpses into the Collective Subconscious—Fom Pop

On the Continuing Obvious Superiority of Relational Networks in Representing Just About Anything—S.M. Lockwood and D.G. Lamb

Regarding the Development and Decay of Mongolian Vowel Harmony: with Special Reference to Copernicus and Galileo—Robert I. Binnick

Not So New Media

Minimalism: The Movie—David Ingram

Word-TV—Brought to You by Unaccountable Network Executives

The Olde Yankee Grammarian—Elan Dresher

False Friends—Trey Jones

Administrivia

Collateral Descendant of Lingua Pranca—Style Sheet and Submission Guidelines—Eddy Turr


Forthcoming


There are even more classics of satirical linguistics yet to come: