Most Popular Pages—Last 30 Days

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1. Vol CLXXXV, No 1 (262 visits)

Speculative Grammarian Volume CLXXXV, Number 1 ... Trey Jones, Editor-in-Chief; Keith Slater, Executive Editor; Mikael Thompson, Senior Editor; Jonathan Downie, Contributing Editor; Associate Editors: Pete Bleackley, Mark Mandel; Assistant Editors: Emily Davis, Vincent Fish, Deak Kirkham, Yuval Wigderson; Editorial Associates: Tel Monks, Mary Shapiro, Sheri Wells-Jensen; Joey Whitford, Comptroller General; That It Is What It Is Is Simply How It Is; July 2019 ... more ]

2. The Compleat Encyclopaedia of Compendious Historical Lexicons of Obscure and Archaic Vernacular and Nomenclature (191 visits)

The Compleat Encyclopaedia of Compendious Historical Lexicons of Obscure and Archaic Vernacular and Nomenclature. Welcome to Online Selections from The Compleat Encyclopaedia of Compendious Historical Lexicons of Obscure and Archaic Vernacular and Nomenclature, researched, compiled, and edited by the lexicographers, etymologists, and philologists of Speculative Grammarian. The editors of Speculative Grammarian are delighted to present selections of the fifty-volume lexicographic opus, The Compleat Encyclopaedia of Compendious Historical Lexicons of Obscure and Archaic Vernacular and Nomenclature, online for the first time ever. The Compleat Encyclopaedia is a one-of-a-kind resource, compiled ... more ]

3. Reasons Not to Study LinguisticsPart IDyspepsia Prater and Cynnie Sizzum (181 visits)

Reasons Not to Study Linguistics Part I. Compiled by Dyspepsia Prater and Cynnie Sizzum, X. Quizzit Korps Center for Advanced Collaborative Studies. Linguists, generally, try to encourage others’ interest in their field with enticements such as, “linguistics helps us understand the human condition” “every language provides a unique view of the mind” “linguistics empowers people” “you can work in translation, interpreting, foreign language teaching, the tech industry, fieldwork, etc.” Blah, blah, blah. You see, no matter how exciting a field seems, there’s someone out there who is sick and tired of putting up with it. Rather than promise nothing but ... more ]

4. Further Land-Grabbing in the Left PeripheryTel Monks (166 visits)

Further Land-Grabbing in the Left Periphery. Tel Monks, Student Emeritus. Modern syn­tacti­cians agree that the Left Periphery is ripe for further development since the territory was opened up by such luminaries as Rizzi (1997).i This paper states (stakes?) a new claim based on my extensive syntactic field studies in the Funny Pages. The Washington Post (April 9th, 2019), inter alia, published an episode of the Judge Parkerii strip including the following panel: I was naturally struck by the question from Sam Driver: “l can do what now?” This is clearly a wh-question presenting the required substitution of a wh-word for the Object NP; however, the ... more ]

5. Cartoon Theories of LinguisticsPart EPhonetics vs. PhonologyHilário Parenchyma, C.Phil. (152 visits)

Cartoon Theories of Linguistics, Part E—Phonetics vs. Phonology. Hilário Parenchyma, C.Phil. Unintentional University of Lghtnbrgstn. We will skip the introduction, as we have been there, done that. Once more into the breach! For this installment in our series on Cartoon Theories of Linguistics, we will turn our attention to Phonetics and Phonology and the difference between the two: Phonetics:, ... Phonology:, ... Thanks to Professor Phlogiston, of the Unintentional University of Lghtnbrgstn, for the opportunity of a lifetime, as a student, to, on this occasion, share with so many of my fellow linguisticians my views, as illustrated above, concerning matters, which are of such immeasurable import ... more ] Merch! Book!

6. Festive ArborolatryThe Speculative Grammarian Editorial Board (138 visits)

Festive Arborolatry. The Speculative Grammarian Editorial Board. This journal has in the past dabbled half-heartedly, with interspersions of sudden inexplicable fits of enthusiasm as quickly forgotten1 as they were assumed, with the vexed2 issue of the religiosity of linguists and of linguistics. Generally, of course, this being all in all a markedly secular age, no one3 has really cared about this issue, but it has come up recently in discussions of which holidays should be paid recognized tolerated. We of course recognize all the major holidaysChristmas, New Years’ Day, Thanksgiving,4 Halloween, Hangeul Day, and April ... more ]

7. /nuz baɪts/ (137 visits)

/ nuz baɪts /. Not a wire news service but still more reliable than most newspapers. New Conlang for Linguists Developed. Researchers at the university of Tumbleweed, North Dakota, have announced the completion of their project to create a conlang especially for linguists. This new language, Amaprof, has been especially designed so that the words and phrases used most by linguists take the least effort to say, while those that are said the least take the most effort. Some example Amaprof phrases are found below. “Hello.” Humphellogrf “Goodbye.” Gruntsguuby “I need coffee.” Adad “Don’t worry, I will refill the coffee jug so you can get a fresh ... more ]

8. LinguimericksBook ६४ (137 visits)

Linguimericks, Book ६४. The right name is so hard to determine— All the demonyms sprawling like vermin! Alemán? Teuton? Tedesco? Tyskar? Niemiec?Kafkaesque, oh! Pray tell, what is the Deutsch word for “German”? —Κόμμα Ο᾿Κῶλον John Ridley Stroop, Threw everyone for a loop, By writing in red, blue, and green, Color terms not matching what was seen —Clara Hu, A language discovered on Mars, Had sentences that were like ours! With SPEC, and with trace, And all kinds of case, Except for the ones that had *s —Sheri Wells-Jensen, Fleeing from dictats draconian, That made ... more ]

9. Archives (131 visits)

SpecGram Archives. A word from our Senior Archivist, Holger Delbrück: While bringing aging media to the web and hence the world is truly a labor of love, SpecGram tries the passion of even the most ardent admirer. Needless to say, we’ve fallen behind schedule. At every turn, the authors found in the pages of this hallowed journal stretch credibility with their gratuitous font mongeringfirst it was the IPA, then a few non-standard transcription systems, then Greek, and not just the alphabet, but the entire diacritical mess, and now I’ve got some god-forsaken Old Church Slavonic glyph sitting on my desk that no one can even name, and which would give the Unicode Consortium ... more ]

10. Domiphones and DominasalsKeith Slater & Trey Jones (130 visits)

Domiphones and Dominasals. Keith Slater & Trey Jones. Traditional Dominosa is a puzzle game that requires you to pair numbers corresponding to the faces of dominoes. You are presented with a rectangular grid of numbers. Each number must be paired with one of its vertical or horizontal neighbors. As in a set of dominoes, each numerical value pairs exactly once with each other numerical value. Naturally, SpecGram’s version of the puzzle involves some linguistics-related twists. Rather than boring and obvious numerals, we use symbols that linguists can enjoy and feel comfortable with. Furthermore, rather than making things predictably identical, we replace numerals with sets of analytical terms. Therefore, ... more ]

11. Letters to the Editor (CLXXXV.1) (128 visits)

Letters to the Editor. Dear Editors, The mental faculties of your regular contributors have always been the subject of a certain, shall we say, dubiosity, but heretofore your editorial board has been, frankly, above reproach. This changed, dramatically, in the; May 2019 issue, which contains quite the worst piece of editorial writing we have ever seen. Whoever “Weirahl Innitto Gaither” may be a pseudonym for, we cannot help noticing that his/her/its writing is somewhat less coherent than that of any other linguist we have observed, including You-Know-Who herself. The abject dismality of this “editorial” has unfortunately ruined your chances with us; we regret to inform you that we ... more ]

12. Linguistic Fortune CookiesAdvertisement (112 visits)

ADVERTISEMENT Linguistic Fortune Cookies. Restaurateursand their etymologically erroneous cousins, restauranteursknow that having a location near a linguistic departments can be... complicated. Linguists have an annoying habit of trying to pronounce menu items in languages they don’t know, for example. On the other tongue, they are surprisingly good tipperspossibly because linguistics attracts kind-hearted people, or perhaps because it attracts people who are bad at math and afraid of appearing socially awkward. Linguists also, if we’re being totally honest here, don’t really get a lot of validation from the general ... more ]

13. Vol CLXXXIV, No 4 (104 visits)

Speculative Grammarian Volume CLXXXIV, Number 4 ... Trey Jones, Editor-in-Chief; Keith Slater, Executive Editor; Mikael Thompson, Senior Editor; Jonathan Downie, Contributing Editor; Associate Editors: Pete Bleackley, Mark Mandel; Assistant Editors: Emily Davis, Vincent Fish, Deak Kirkham, Yuval Wigderson; Editorial Associates: Joe McAvoy, Tel Monks, Mary Shapiro; Joey Whitford, Comptroller General; It’s Enough to Make One See the Bright Side of Anarchy; June 2019 ... more ]

14. The SpecGram Film and Media Club Reviews Inglourious BasterdsManfred M. McManus (103 visits)

The SpecGram Film and Media Club, Reviews Inglourious Basterds. with Linguist to the Stars, Mr Manfred M. McManus. Tarantino’s Inglourious Basterds represents a new level of achievement in a welcome and long-overdue linguistic democratisation of film which has been sorely lacking in the Anglophone-dominated hegemony of 20th century Hollywood. With protagonists enacting no fewer than four languages in the film, this was a rare tour-de-force for those of us who feel English has dominated the British and North American film industries for too long. Despite his positivity, this critic would still like to see more. The subtitles in English, for example, merely served to distract from ... more ]

15. About Us (103 visits)

Speculative Grammarian and Our Story. The august journal Speculative Grammarian has a long, rich, and varied history, weaving an intricate and subtle tapestry from disparate strands of linguistics, philology, history, politics, science, technology, botany, pharmacokinetics, computer science, the mathematics of humor, basket weaving, archery, glass blowing, roller coaster design, and bowling, among numerous other, less obvious fields. SpecGram, as it is known to devotees and sworn enemies alike, has for centuries sought to bring together the greatest yet least understood minds of the time, embedding itself firmly in the cultural and psychological matrix of the global society while ... more ] Podcast!

16. Choose Your Own Career in Linguistics (93 visits)

Choose Your Own Career in Linguistics. by Trey Jones. As a service to our young and impressionable readers who are considering pursuing a career in linguistics, Speculative Grammarian is pleased to provide the following Gedankenexperiment to help you understand the possibilities and consequences of doing so. For our old and bitter readers who are too far along in their careers to have any real hope of changing the eventual outcome, we provide the following as a cruel reminder of what might have been. Let the adventure begin ... more ] Book!

17. Seeking Part-Time Tea Person/Interactional LinguistAdvertisement (85 visits)

ADVERTISEMENT Seeking Part-Time Tea Person / Interactional Linguist. The Catterton Left-Handed Institute of Linguistics seeks a part-time tea person/interactional linguist. The successful candidate will possess a PhD in a relevant field with at least three publications in 4-star journals alongside which s/he will have not fewer than 5-years tea-making and serving experience (in academia or beyond). The role is 0.6 FTE and requires membership in the Yorkshire Federation of Teapersonages, with which the appointee is expected to engage by making a presentation on the role of tea in academia on at least one occasion, and teaching the module LX3900 “Why, when and how people say er in ... more ]

18. Ministry of Propaganda (79 visits)

The SpecGram Ministry of Propaganda. Welcome to the SpecGram Ministry of Propaganda. The SpecGram Archive Elves™ have undertaken a project to digitize and share a sheaf of early 20th century SpecGram propaganda posters, which were used during the Great Linguistic War and the Second Linguistic War to encourage linguists everywhere to keep a stiff upper lip and a sense of humor during those trying times. We provide the digitized posters here for you to enjoy, retrospect on, and share. Select a poster to see a higher quality image, and for links to share on social media, to email friends, and to view or download the highest quality version of the image. If you have ideas for other messages that need ... more ]

19. Vol CLXXV, No 1 (76 visits)

Speculative Grammarian Volume CLXXV, Number 1 Sēsquiplicātus स्टफ Ἡμι-Demi-Семи- Μέγα Issue ... Trey Jones, Editor-in-Chief; Keith Slater, Executive Editor; Bill Spruiell, Senior Editor, Sheri Wells-Jensen, Consulting Editor; Associate Editors: Pete Bleackley, Madalena Cruz-Ferreira, Jonathan Downie, Mikael Thompson; Assistant Editors: Virginia Bouchard, Florian Breit, Mark Mandel, Yuval Wigderson; Editorial Associates: Adam Baker, Bethany Carlson, Peter Carrillo, Tel Monks, Davis Prickett, Laura Ryals, Brock Schardin, Mary Shapiro, Isabelle Tellier, Anna Weingarten; Joey Whitford, Comptroller General; I love a good creole. It’s got that ... more ]

20. The Speculative Grammarian Essential Guide to Linguistics (74 visits)

The Speculative Grammarian Essential Guide to Linguistics . For decades, Speculative Grammarian has been the premier scholarly journal featuring research in the neglected field of satirical linguisticsand now it is available in book formboth physical and electronic! We wish we were kidding, but no, seriously, we’ve published a large collection of SpecGram articles, along with just enough new material to force obsessive collectors and fans to buy it, regardless of the cost. From the Introduction: The past twenty-five years have witnessed many changes in linguistics, with major developments in linguistic theory, significant expansion in language description, and even ... more ]

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Last updated Jul. 22, 2019.