Most Popular Pages—Last 30 Days

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1. Vol CLXXXIII, No 1 (324 visits)

Speculative Grammarian Volume CLXXXIII, Number 1 ... Trey Jones, Editor-in-Chief Keith Slater, Executive Editor Mikael Thompson, Senior Editor Jonathan Downie, Contributing Editor, Associate Editors, Pete Bleackley Mark Mandel, Assistant Editors, Virginia Bouchard Emily Davis Vincent Fish Deak Kirkham Yuval Wigderson, Editorial Associates, Samuel Andersson Florian Breit Chris Brew Bethany Carlson Tel Monks Mary Shapiro, Joey Whitford, Comptroller General Friendly Fire? Don’t Flatter Yourself November 2018 ... more ]

2. Linguistics Nerd CampBethany Carlson and Keith Slater (226 visits)

Linguistics Nerd Camp. Bethany Carlson and Keith Slater. The old adage “the best defense is a good offense” had served Marsha well... until now ... more ]

3. Cartoon Theories of LinguisticsPart EPhonetics vs. PhonologyHilário Parenchyma, C.Phil. (176 visits)

Cartoon Theories of Linguistics, Part E—Phonetics vs. Phonology. Hilário Parenchyma, C.Phil. Unintentional University of Lghtnbrgstn. We will skip the introduction, as we have been there, done that. Once more into the breach! For this installment in our series on Cartoon Theories of Linguistics, we will turn our attention to Phonetics and Phonology and the difference between the two: Phonetics:, ... Phonology:, ... Thanks to Professor Phlogiston, of the Unintentional University of Lghtnbrgstn, for the opportunity of a lifetime, as a student, to, on this occasion, share with so many of my fellow linguisticians my views, as illustrated above, concerning matters, which are of such immeasurable import ... more ] Merch! Book!

4. Archives (156 visits)

SpecGram Archives. A word from our Senior Archivist, Holger Delbrück: While bringing aging media to the web and hence the world is truly a labor of love, SpecGram tries the passion of even the most ardent admirer. Needless to say, we’ve fallen behind schedule. At every turn, the authors found in the pages of this hallowed journal stretch credibility with their gratuitous font mongeringfirst it was the IPA, then a few non-standard transcription systems, then Greek, and not just the alphabet, but the entire diacritical mess, and now I’ve got some god-forsaken Old Church Slavonic glyph sitting on my desk that no one can even name, and which would give the Unicode Consortium ... more ]

5. Merchandise (150 visits)

Speculative Grammarian Merchandise. Introduction. In order to lend a hand to our good friends and steadfast supporters over at the Linguist List during their 2006 fund drive, we prepared a small selection of limited edition SpecGram merchandise, including T-shirts, stickers and magnets. Originally these items were only available as prizes awarded as part of the Linguist List fund drive. In 2012, several of the SpecGram editors suffered from a rare form of collective frontal lobe damage, which made it seem like a good idea to put together a SpecGram book. The result in 2013 was The Speculative Grammarian Essential Guide to Linguistics. In 2014, Editor Mikael Thompson entered a deep fugue ... more ]

6. Linguistics Nerd CampBethany Carlson (147 visits)

Linguistics Nerd Camp. Bethany Carlson. The Linguistics Department’s new class, Hysterical Linguistics, boosted enrollment by 67% ... more ]

7. About Us (147 visits)

Speculative Grammarian and Our Story. The august journal Speculative Grammarian has a long, rich, and varied history, weaving an intricate and subtle tapestry from disparate strands of linguistics, philology, history, politics, science, technology, botany, pharmacokinetics, computer science, the mathematics of humor, basket weaving, archery, glass blowing, roller coaster design, and bowling, among numerous other, less obvious fields. SpecGram, as it is known to devotees and sworn enemies alike, has for centuries sought to bring together the greatest yet least understood minds of the time, embedding itself firmly in the cultural and psychological matrix of the global society while ... more ] Podcast!

8. The Speculative Grammarian Essential Guide to Linguistics (143 visits)

The Speculative Grammarian Essential Guide to Linguistics . For decades, Speculative Grammarian has been the premier scholarly journal featuring research in the neglected field of satirical linguisticsand now it is available in book formboth physical and electronic! We wish we were kidding, but no, seriously, we’ve published a large collection of SpecGram articles, along with just enough new material to force obsessive collectors and fans to buy it, regardless of the cost. From the Introduction: The past twenty-five years have witnessed many changes in linguistics, with major developments in linguistic theory, significant expansion in language description, and even ... more ]

9. LinguimericksBook ५६ (141 visits)

Linguimericks, Book ५६. Almost a Linguistics Haiku Cycle Esperanto and Dothraki and Klingon too. Conlangers are here. Inventing at home Surrounded by pizza crumbs Conlangers working. Some field linguists work In picturesque jungles while Theorists drink tea. Theorists argue About unused langue structures But we use parole. The ideal speaker Is simply an invention Of lazy dreamers. Forgot to buy your Air tickets and passport, mate? Study conlangs then! —Col. O. Nihilist, Every doctoral thesis I’ve read Tests for “p” and it gives me a head- ache. I won’t be constrained By traditions so lame, So I’m using a sine wave instead —Morris Swadesh III, A linguist exclaimed ... more ]

10. /nuz baɪts/ (137 visits)

/ nuz baɪts /. Not a wire news service but still more reliable than most newspapers. Millennials Are Killing an Amount of Grammatical Things. Millennials are regularly accused of “killing” things by simply choosing not to spend their time or money on themnapkins, bar soap, fabric softener, golf, the NFL, sitcoms, beer, cereal, Applebee’s, Hooters, Home Depot, Sears, Macy’s, oil, diamonds, marriage, democracy, the American dream, etc. Anthropological researchconducted largely by linguists who couldn’t find more relevant workhas shown that most of those things are mere cultural byproducts whose popularity one could expect to wax and ... more ]

11. Choose Your Own Career in Linguistics (136 visits)

Choose Your Own Career in Linguistics. by Trey Jones. As a service to our young and impressionable readers who are considering pursuing a career in linguistics, Speculative Grammarian is pleased to provide the following Gedankenexperiment to help you understand the possibilities and consequences of doing so. For our old and bitter readers who are too far along in their careers to have any real hope of changing the eventual outcome, we provide the following as a cruel reminder of what might have been. Let the adventure begin ... more ] Book!

12. Recipes for Success!Book Announcement from Psammeticus Press (133 visits)

Recipes for Success! The SpecGram Compendious Compendium of Linguists’ Dessert Recipes by Dàn Gāo & Gatt O. Cooxen Published 2018. 412 pages (with 397 full-color photographs) While there are many possible metrics for the maturity of a scholarly field, the most obvious is that a field has not truly arrived until a cookbook of the greatest recipes of its practitioners has been published. Thus, Psammeticus Pressin association with Speculative Grammarianis pleased to present this overview of the contents of The SpecGram Compendious Compendium of Linguists’ Dessert Recipes. Order today! — Chomsky’s Minimalist ... more ]

13. *u̯erg̑- u̯erg̑- u̯erg̑-: Aspects of Indo-European Popular CultureJoe R. G. d’Umezzille (132 visits)

*u̯erg̑- u̯erg̑- u̯erg̑-: Aspects of Indo-European Popular Culture. Joe R. G. d’Umezzille. The study of Proto-Indo-European culture dates back almost as long as the study of the Proto-Indo-European (PIE) language. It is primarily conducted by trying to identify etymologically related phrasings and stories in various distinct daughter traditions. One of the greatest achievements in this field was undoubtedly Calvert Watkins’s discovery that the PIE phrase *(e-)ghen-t oghim ‘he killed the serpent’ was at the basis of a very important dragon-slaying myth, and that reflexes of this ... more ]

14. Vol CLXXXII, No 4 (132 visits)

Speculative Grammarian Volume CLXXXII, Number 4 ... Trey Jones, Editor-in-Chief Keith Slater, Executive Editor, Associate Editors, Pete Bleackley Jonathan Downie Mikael Thompson, Assistant Editors, Virginia Bouchard Mark Mandel Yuval Wigderson, Editorial Associates, Florian Breit Bethany Carlson Emily Davis Vincent Fish Deak Kirkham Mary Shapiro Bill Spruiell, Joey Whitford, Comptroller General Now with Additional Functional Projections in Every Issue! October 2018 ... more ]

15. Letters to the Editor (CLXXXIII.1) (131 visits)

Letters to the Editor. Dear SpecGram, We were disappointed to read N. Elix’s recent balderdash of an article, “Generative Grammar Proves the Existence of Aliens” which attempts to conflate Generative Grammar and Scientology. One of them is a vicious cult founded by a charlatan, the other is... hmm, we’re beginning to see Elix’s point. We’ve become aware of other eerie correspondences: X-bars and X-enu, for example. Could it be a coincidence??? Anything is possible, but we think it unlikely. The influence of the “c-c org” is apparently not limited to Generative Grammar. We are equally suspicious of computational linguistics, as it uses n-grams, which are awfully close to engrams. ... more ]

16. Thank You, Historical LinguistThe Third Autonomous Bilborough Linguistics Circle (129 visits)

Thank You, Historical Linguist. Presented by The Third Autonomous Bilborough Linguistics Circle. Who wants to live in the past, hey? Well, linguists do, at least those of the historical linguistics bentand boy, do we have a lot to thank them for. Sure, the average Historical Linguist may not yet have heard of Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat and Prezi, but they have heard of things just as important, if not more so: cognates, the comparative method, attested versus reconstructed forms, glottochronology (often mistaken for an unpleasant throat disease), lexicostatistics (which sounds a bit like a stripper’s stage name) and most of all Jacob Grimm (but not in his capacity as a writer of nightmare-inducing ... more ]

17. How to Do Fieldwork on Proto-Indo-EuropeanTim Pulju (129 visits)

How to Do Fieldwork on Proto-Indo-European. Tim Pulju, Dartmouth College. Step one: find a native speaker. ... more ] Podcast! Book!

18. Ministry of Propaganda (121 visits)

The SpecGram Ministry of Propaganda. Welcome to the SpecGram Ministry of Propaganda. The SpecGram Archive Elves™ have undertaken a project to digitize and share a sheaf of early 20th century SpecGram propaganda posters, which were used during the Great Linguistic War and the Second Linguistic War to encourage linguists everywhere to keep a stiff upper lip and a sense of humor during those trying times. We provide the digitized posters here for you to enjoy, retrospect on, and share. Select a poster to see a higher quality image, and for links to share on social media, to email friends, and to view or download the highest quality version of the image. If you have ideas for other messages that need ... more ]

19. Podcast—Language Made Difficult, Vol. L (121 visits)

Language Made Difficult, Vol. L — The SpecGram LingNerds are on their own this time. After some Lies, Damned Lies, and Linguistics, the LingNerds discuss the dangers of mispronouncing the names of Canadian provinces, and then advise students as to what they should *not* do. They also fail to celebrate the 50th episode. Many outtakes are provided. ... listen ]

20. Where are the Vampire Linguists?F. Ang Bangah (120 visits)

Where are the Vampire Linguists?. F. Ang Bangah. Though many people have had trouble coming to terms with the truth about vampires since they “came out of the coffin” in the so-called Great Revelationmade possible by the creation of the Japanese synthetic blood substitutetheir presence represents a unique and untapped opportunity for historians, linguists, and anthropologists. Non-supernaturals have had much opportunity to learn about vampires and others in the biographic works of Charlaine Harris, which have recently been dramatized in the HBO documentary television series True Blood. But one aspect of vampires’ existence has been largely ignored; since ... more ] Podcast!

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Last updated Nov. 18, 2018.