var pspr_rand = Math.random();
var pspr_bit = 1.0 / 21.0;
var pspr_top;
var pspr_bot;

if (pspr_rand > pspr_bit * 20) {
	pspr_top = "For those of you who like this sort of thing...";
	pspr_bot = "...it&rsquo;s <i>exactly</i> the sort of thing you&rsquo;ll like!";	
	}
else if (pspr_rand > pspr_bit * 19) {
	pspr_top = "Not just another vanity press for linguists";
	pspr_bot = pspr_top;	
	}
else if (pspr_rand > pspr_bit * 18) {
	pspr_top = "All the linguistics that&rsquo;s fit to print...";
	pspr_bot = "...and then some";	
	}
else if (pspr_rand > pspr_bit * 17) {
	pspr_top = "Compensatory lengthening as a direct result of our primary stress: </i><nobr>Speculative Grammarian</nobr><i>";
	pspr_bot = pspr_top;	
	}
else if (pspr_rand > pspr_bit * 16) {
	pspr_top = "Putting the silent /q/ back into linguistics";
	pspr_bot = pspr_top;	
	}
else if (pspr_rand > pspr_bit * 15) {
	pspr_top = "Where the bottom line meets the end of the day";
	pspr_bot = pspr_top;	
	}
else if (pspr_rand > pspr_bit * 14) {
	pspr_top = "Where colorless ideas meet Godzilla";
	pspr_bot = pspr_top;	
	}
else if (pspr_rand > pspr_bit * 13) {
	pspr_top = "The Home of Degenerative Grammar";
	pspr_bot = pspr_top;	
	}
else if (pspr_rand > pspr_bit * 12) {
	pspr_top = "Life is a Grand Allusion";
	pspr_bot = pspr_top;	
	}
else if (pspr_rand > pspr_bit * 11) {
	pspr_top = "If you have to transliterate the name from Greek, it&rsquo;s got to be good";
	pspr_bot = pspr_top;	
	}
else if (pspr_rand > pspr_bit * 10) {
	pspr_top = "Meeting refutation with denial for over six hundred years";
	pspr_bot = pspr_top;	
	}
else if (pspr_rand > pspr_bit * 9) {
	pspr_top = "By <i>bekos</i> alone";
	pspr_bot = pspr_top;	
	}
else if (pspr_rand > pspr_bit * 8.5) {
	pspr_top = "Linguistics: Where data don&rsquo;t matter, as long as your theory is good";
	pspr_bot = pspr_top;	
	}
else if (pspr_rand > pspr_bit * 8) {
	pspr_top = "Linguistics: Where data doesn&rsquo;t matter, as long as your theory is good";
	pspr_bot = pspr_top;	
	}
else if (pspr_rand > pspr_bit * 7) {
	pspr_top = "Just when you thought it was safe to go back into the library";
	pspr_bot = pspr_top;	
	}
else if (pspr_rand > pspr_bit * 6) {
	pspr_top = "Unfettered Academic Onanism";
	pspr_bot = pspr_top;	
	}
else if (pspr_rand > pspr_bit * 5) {
	pspr_top = "Dedicated to the First and Purest Tradition of Linguistic Inquiry";
	pspr_bot = "One might Criticize Our Methods, but who can Quibble with Our Results?";	
	}
else if (pspr_rand > pspr_bit * 4) {
	pspr_top = "Serving Closed-<wbr>Minded Dogmatists of all Theoretical Persuasions";
	pspr_bot = pspr_top;	
	}
else if (pspr_rand > pspr_bit * 3) {
	pspr_top = "If it&rsquo;s not Linguistics, it&rsquo;s not worth Reading";
	pspr_bot = pspr_top;	
	}
else if (pspr_rand > pspr_bit * 2) {
	pspr_top = "Linguistics is Our Life";
	pspr_bot = pspr_top;	
	}
else if (pspr_rand > pspr_bit) {
	pspr_top = "Publishing anything that&rsquo;s too long for </i>Speculative Grammarian<i>";
	pspr_bot = pspr_top;	
	}
else {
	pspr_top = "Bringing Linguistics to Life";
	pspr_bot = "Bringing Life to Linguistics";	
	}