Quotes: What People are Saying

Here are a few of our favorite things people have said about Speculative Grammarian over the years, collected wild on the internet, or domesticated in email.


“Immer wieder lesenswert: Speculative Grammarian

Ursula Stangel


Speculative Grammarian (the journal of “satirical linguistics”) published a piece recently entitled The Lexicalist Agenda: Exposing the Myths. ‘It’s a hoot’, says the Sesquipeditor -- ‘3 thumbs up!’.”

Sesquipedalian


Hwæt! WTF?!

Emily


“This may be the most closely argued piece of linguistics since Verner wrote on the voicing of Germanic fricatives, or at least since “Remarks on Nominalization”.”

Team Verb


“[T]he latest issue includes a contribution that deftly slices away our reason for being. Or maybe jabs at it with a rusty blade. I mean the “Ask Mr. Language Person” piece answering the question [“Why do languages decay?”].”

Team Verb


“Despite the name, this prestigious prize [the Chiasmus of the Month award] apparently does not get awarded every month, so double congratulations, Stephanie and Richie!”

Maria Gouskova


“Speaking of jargon, here’s a handy list for the layperson.”

Rob


“NO. WAY. SO FULL OF AWESOME. <3”

Twila


“It’s nothing porcine, I assure you.”

—Ouagadougou


Speculative Grammarian was brought up as an example of satirical linguistics but the punchlines require rather too much technical knowledge for a layperson.”

Lauren Gawne


“Ooooh, someone is bitter :D”

heresybob


“I worry both that this may have been already seen by those who can appreciate it, and that it might go over the heads of everyone else. If so, apologies. Nonetheless, SpecGram’s occasional salvos at formalist theoretical excesses always make my day, even when reread.”

rusoved


“Oh Speculative Grammarian why do you always publish a new issue when I’m most behind with schoolwork? I’m dying with laughter and I don’t think my supervisor would find this article very funny if I presented it as my excuse... even though she is, like, the only other person I can share its utmost hilarity with... :(”

Marina Lauer


“I love SpecGram, even though it makes me sad that after 3 years of university education in linguistics, I can only understand about half of it!”

l33t_sas


“I have this shirt from SpecGram. I’ve had to stop wearing it because people would stop me and stare at it and ask me to explain all the time :(”

l33t_sas


Good overview/visual intro to the topic for lay people.”

freereflection


“Und wer den “Speculative Grammarian” nicht kennt, hat wirklich was verpasst. Eine ganze Satirezeitschrift nur für/von/über Linguisten.”

Jan Wohlgemuth


“If you get to the bottom of the article, there’s definitely show of Tongue in Cheek. :)”

paralemptor


“I hope this is satirical

jsm1


“They lost me at ‘Futurological’...”

tuna_safe_dolphin


went over my head / made me giggle then felt a little spooked.”

paralemptor


“Well, at least we do have a canonical set of tests to tell linguists from philosophers.”

John Lawler


“The SpecGram post also pokes fun at the Skopos theory of translation. Hilarious and worth the time.”

Saqer A


This is my favourite thing you have ever published”

Madeleine McCallum


“Am enjoying @SpecGram’s To the Field Workers to Make Much of Time.”

Macmillan Dictionary


SpecGram’s podcasts are sharp, silly, and fun.”

Stan Carey


“Haven’t delved yet, but this looks like an interesting page for linguists and other wordnerds.”

Macmillan Dictionary


“I love SpecGram!

Joe Kessler


“[SpecGram is] more fun than a barrel filled with n monkeys with x reflective indicators in a partial least squares path model.”

Jonathan Downie


“Without doubt, Speculative Grammarian is the world’s premier Satirical Linguistics journal.”

Jonathan Downie


“Some of us stopped submitting to SpecGram because we have to concentrate on writing that will earn.”

Aya Katz


“Oh baby, let’s try the nasal-ingressive voiceless velar trill tonight.”

Penty


“I don’t know if anyone reads Speculative Grammarian (SpecGram), but I just saw this today: OdCom. It made me laugh, at least.”

Nick


“Haha–I can’t wait to find time to read this!!”

Jon Silpayamanant


“Justin B. Rye at Speculative Grammarian has a delightful Primer in SF Xenolinguistics. Rye offers ten rules of SF and fantasy language clichés, muses briefly yet thoroughly on the ways in which alien languages might differ from human languages and the ways in which they probably won’t, and discusses potential issues with universal translators.

Plus, he’s funny. “I pity C-3PO, kept as a slave translator for biochauvinist rebels in a society where everything understands English anyway.””

Tracy


“Wenn ihr den Witz nicht versteht, macht, was der Editor gesagt habt, lest euch rein. Es ist einfach zu genial. Nasal-ingressive stimmlose velare Trills sind in der Tat... außergewöhnlich”

ark4869


“What will become of a linguistics major?”

La vie est belle


This kills me, as the only way to get a job is when “Prof. Johnson” kicks the bucket, and my dear friend is a Prof. Johnson of linguistics hahahaha”

laundryandbetrayal


“The “choose your own career in linguistics” game! It’s fun, I promise! :)”

—agents verbing patients


“Und wer den “Speculative Grammarian” nicht kennt, hat wirklich was verpasst. Eine ganze Satirezeitschrift nur für/von/über Linguisten”

janwo


The Compleat Encyclopaedia of Compendious Historical Lexicons of Obscure and Archaic Vernacular and Nomenclature: The best dictionary on the web! So great, it knows definitions of words that don’t even exist!”

Brian Slattery


“This figure showing Examples of phronological Evidence is killing me! “Darth voiceless vaders”... “heimlich ejectives”... tee hee!”

isitirony


This journal rules!”

leoboiko


“How have I never encountered this amazing website before?”

Qiran


“I love SpecGram. So, so much. I even have a nasal-ingressive voiceless velar trill shirt.”

Eccentroclast


I lost it multiple times.”

sniperinthebushes


“Thanks for introducing me to SpecGram, you bastard. I have an essay due tomorrow, you know.”

leoboiko


“I’m quite fond of the phonologist one myself, since I was forced to sit through a semester of very, very abstract phonology.”

niklasni1


“The Lab Phonetician one made me laugh.”

agissilver


“ ‘You do well, and 20 years later, you are successful, happy, and productive. You make a good living, do interesting work every day, and have sharp colleagues to keep you on your toes. Your home life is tranquil and pleasant, and you have lots of time off every year to do your own thing. Life is grand!’ Damn right! Now if only ‘work hard’ was indeed a single click and not 5+ years of grueling torture.”

mysticrudnin


“Oh my goodness gracious, I could waste my entire life reading [SpecGram]. The choose your own adventure career game is my favorite so far though...”

isitirony


“I am thrilled that you have come across the title of my talk and considered it worthy of the Chiasmus award. I am an advocate of the interface of science and research with wit, style and rhetoric. I, of course, am honoured to accept the award and condone the use of my title/ abstract/ name in your publications. My Chiasmus of the Month will indeed be my month of chiasmus.”

David M T Arnold


“It’s a balance you guys strike well—that rare ability to use the words “phonotactics” and “poopyhead” in the same joke.”

Ben Trawick-Smith


“It’s interesting to know that this was a source of great debate for many years. A lot of people argued that this was anything but phonologically determined, wasting a ton of time and effort. Pay attention to phonology!”

itrekkie


“The “Pantheon-Based Theory of Grammar” is quite funny as well.”

—Cathbad


“Heh, quite funny. I’m fighting an addiction to velaric ingressives myself.”

—Eddy


“Nowadays we have kinda decent natural language parsers.”

Nisan

“In my opinion, these still have a long way to go. (Panel #3 is my personal favorite.)”
Vladimir M


This is my new favorite thing, courtesy of the Speculative Grammarian.

Brian


“How would a linguist translate “Dumber than a box of rocks” from the original Texan? Easy: “Dumber than a department of Sapir-Whorfians.” There’s a whole mess of useful conversions in “Texan for Linguists.””

Nancy Friedman


“Qualcuno, poi, per risolvere il problema ha inventato nuovi simboli, il Quotta e il Quottiod!”

—t4nec0


“I, for one, welcome our new serious overlords.”

David Bowie


“What I learned about the relationship of coffee to adult conversation was priceless”

Keith Hersch


“Everything I learned about linguistics I learned from the Speculative Grammarian.

Keith Hersch


“Any discussion of a Wordnik takeover of SpecGram is purely speculative.”

Erin McKean


“That would be meeting the Serious Linguists on their own specious terms. You could not hope to survive. Only subvert to prosper.”

Stan Carey


“Keep linguistic conflict in the abstract domain—only there can satire prevail. You might be no match for the Fist of Generativism!”

Stan Carey


“Trying to explain the joy of SpecGram to non-linguists is like someone trying to explain the joy of advanced mathematics to me.”

Carin Marais


““No” to serious linguists!”

Carin Marais


“I’m loving ‘Language Made Difficult’.”

Devan Steiner


“You guys are great, and may Speculative Grammarian last another seven centuries.”

—Filip Skwarski


Something funny from my favorite journal ever SpecGram.

Beril Tezeller Arik


“What better way to spend a day than solving @SpecGram archive linguistic puzzles?”

UL Linguist


“Far and away, one of my favorite accounts to follow.”

—Dan


Speculative Grammarian is the one and only journal of satirical linguistics. I’m very fond of their Cartoon Theories of Linguistics series. And anyone who’s thinking of majoring in linguistics should try Choose Your Own Career in Linguistics first.”

E-Ching Ng


“Today I read the multi-trill article in Speculative Grammarian and I decided to try the counting song. ... It wasn’t until I tried the non silent 0 variant of Trilaa that I realized that I was making a real fool of myself. For those of you that are not familiar with Speculative Grammarian you probably do not know anything about the ingressive velar voiceless trill, and if you have some linguistic background you might try to pronounce that sound, but I need to warn you: try this at home! And whatever you do, do not try this in public!

Ingeborg Sophie


“Please do not make the mistake I made and sing the counting song in the university cafeteria during lunch hours! I promise you, if people don’t think you’re a freak before that they’ll certainly think so after seeing you sit there all alone on a table making crazy trills. Does not matter whether you’re good at performing trills or not, they’ll shun you anyways...”

Ingeborg Sophie


“Встретился намедни чудесный сайт «Speculative Grammarian». Местами просто забавно, местами забавно и полезно.”

Шаннар


“McLovin it.”

Kyle McCord


“I have a feeling I’ll be entertained for hours!”

gmixion


“Been hilarious for many many years. I particularly enjoy their comics.”

MalignantMouse


“A great satirical linguistic magazine that I think all of you would enjoy.”

bbrown1990


OH GOD IT’S MY LIFE.”

—nromenuvote


“Trey Jones at Speculative Grammarian invites y’all to play his cute, and yet somewhat depressing, game: Choose Your Own Career in Linguistics.”

Chris


“Some of my favorite linguist humor—U.S. Government Linguists in Action

Michael K


“Чудесный сайт SpecGram: забавно про лингвистику. Местами просто забавно, местами забавно и полезно.”

Нина Вилл


“While I have your attention, let me thank you, the other editors and the contributors for the many hours I have misspent in laughing through the SpecGram archives.  Sophomoric or sophisticated, hieratic or half-witted, it has always been a pleasure.  You-all are furthering the grand millennia-plus-centuries tradition of SpecGram.

—Rick Bryan


“Must remember to not listen to SpecGram podcasts on the bus—I don’t need any more dirty/confused looks from undergrads.”

Devan Steiner


“Latest SpecGram podcast (Linguistics Wars) made my morning. So good”

Devan Steiner


“ahh, nothing like good nerd humor in the wee hours of the night.”

kristina kilpatrick


“Ok, half the time you guys intimidate me (and I get paid to write). Thanks for the daily education!”

Rick DiBiasio


“I stumbled into this haven [(SpecGram)]… It’s like an STD, only much, much more desirable: one that we wish would spread more widely.”

Rivkah Wood


“Check out [SpecGram]. They have about one cool puzzle an issue, and it’s all damn funny.”

iwsfutcmd


“Got my new edition of Speculative Grammarian in my inbox today—and what a treat! This issue is all about fantasy languages and the cliches used in it... Have a read—it’s really funny! And something to keep in mind when creating languages.”

—Marsh


“In-jokes for the linguists.”

rebus


“The editor emeritus (Tim Pulju) is the most popular linguistics professor at Dartmouth College, and for good reason. His classes are as entertaining as SpecGram, if not moreso. Also check out Lingua Pranca—it’s exceptionally witty. And the “choose your own career in linguistics” adventure story is worth more than a few run-throughs.”

ljohns77


“The site bills itself as the premier scholarly journal featuring research in the neglected field of satirical linguistics. With links to back issues, puzzles and games—this site is highly recommended for linguists.”

daokta


“I have never heard of satirical linguistics until I found [SpecGram]—and have been totally engrossed (and lost!)”

weepingbeauty


“Вообще, сайт достаточно забавный, нечто вроде «лингвисты шутят». Мне там еще понравился «индоевропейский кроссворд».”

Хельги Вёльсунг


“Интересно, почему я не набредала на эту штуку раньше: SpecGram. Например, комикс про Google Translate. Или загадка “найди семь отличий”. Или, например, как надо работать с информантом. Вообще такого прекрасного (действительно прекрасного) дикого гона я давно не видела. Плакал мой вечер :) Номера целиком тоже достойны похвалы. Ы.”

Наташа


“hahaha! That’s brilliant, and not entirely untrue.”

Anneliese Satz


“This wonderfully weird article claims that the “ther” is evidence that the original language of Winnie the Pooh is not English, and it was translated from Gallo-Romance or Old French, although the stories themselves are much, much older.”

CalMeacham


“One of my resent favorite articles is “Draw Me A Linguist”. I do believe this represents most people’s stereotypical thoughts about linguists, not only children.”

—Margaret Fuller-Slack


“Can’t get enough of SpecGram: Turn-offs: fervent lexicalism, fervent anti-lexicalism, and claimed biological inability to perform trills”

—Ingeborg Sophie


SpecGram’s puntheon of mytholingual entities.”

Stan Carey


Hilarious!”

little jo


“Seems more like a critique of English then anything else. This is what happens when you speak a mongrel language.”

CushBowl


“This is hilarious.”

Karen McCarthy


“I enjoyed it somewhat.”

William Dambe


“It’s hilarious to the linguistically-minded. Phoenician syntax is gold.

—Tubberella Phillips


“Did you really think someone was going to fall for this?”

Veikko Suvanto


“great examples”

etorreborre


“Syntactic ambiguity explained with cartoons!”

Fabian Steeg


“유서 깊은 언어학 개그의 본산 Speculative Grammarian의 트위터 계정 @SpecGram을”

—tzxi


“I did get a good chuckle from Elwin Ransom’s piece, “On the Applicability of Recent Theoretical Advances in Linguistics to the Practice of Fieldwork.” And really, what more can I demand for the price of my subscription?”

Chad Nilep


“I will admit that I seldom read SpecGram, as fans call it, since I don’t really enjoy its brand of humor, generally very dry, deadpan satire of academic writing and more specifically the discourse of descriptive and theoretical linguistics.”

Chad Nilep


“Several very nice things in this issue, anyhow, kudos.”

—Alex Fink


“Man, I read the issue last night, and figured that one of the SpecGram cabal must have invented the morphome for its purposes.”

—Alex Fink


“Some of those are too tough for me. I must be dumber than I thought. The cryptogram with the eêés is one in point.”

—Tribble


A puzzle a day keeps the pedant away: This is for just a few of you... yes.. youI’m looking at you.”

—jee


“Oh SpecGram, you make my dayevery day! You’re the first thing I read in the morning, and then I feel great for the rest of the day! Rock on!”

—Ingeborg Sophie


“I love the about us, but really, what does it say?

—Moira Croley


“As far as I can tell, SpecGram’s current list of authors is entirely made up. Which is a shame, because some time in the past, they had at least some articles written by actual linguists.”

—psygnisfive


“Neatness! It made me laugh.”

—SelMessitihildi


this is awesome.”

—boy #12


“Telenovelas follow a very similar basic storyline. So the article is saying, they have a verb, where they then give loads of names in a row as objects of this verb, and each fits into the correct place in this schema of a telenovela’s character relationships.”

—candrodor


“De a SpecGramből többek között megtudhatjuk azt is, mi fán terem a naiv lingvisztika vagy miért lenne szükség vámpírnyelvészekre.”

Dr. Dér Csilla Ilona


Egyik kedvenc cikkem szerzője a pszichoanalízis és a kognitív nyelvészet - egészen pontosan Freud és Lakoffelméletének az összeházasítását kísérelte meg a diszfunkcionális nyelvészet jegyében.”

Dr. Dér Csilla Ilona


“A SpecGram, teljesebb nevén a Speculative Grammarian c. online folyóirat igazán szeretnivaló jelenség: remek a címe (hát még a címoldali mottók!), a szerzőgárdája, tudományos paródiáiban pedig nem kímél egyetlen nyelvészeti iskolát sem.”

Dr. Dér Csilla Ilona


“Nyelvészhumor: SpecGram

Dr. Dér Csilla Ilona


“Dans la catégorie langage et linguistique ... Speculative Grammarian, “premier journal savant présentant des recherches dans le domaine négligé de la linguistique satirique.””

Sandra


“Fag-satire er moro!”

—Tom Vidar


“The perennially hilarious Speculative Grammarian single-handedly makes Linguistics the most exciting science! ... I suggest you start from the beginning and read to the end. Quite possibly the most engaging linguistics journal to ever exist!”

Dustin Alfonso Chacón


“The Inebriation Hypothesis: If you’re not a linguistics nerd, you’ll have to trust me. This is hilarious.”

Scott Scheule


ook mooi

Mark Wijnne


“I loled at the last [article]. ”

nohat


“As said, a before vowels and an otherwise. We know how/when, but not why. ... It’s interesting to know that this was a source of great debate for many years. A lot of people argued that this was anything but phonologically determined, wasting a ton of time and effort. Pay attention to phonology!”

itrekkie


“How about a mash-up of mythology, cryptozoology and linguistics? Part 1 and part 2.”

Scott


“LOL! Der Artikel ist ja hilariös!”

André


This is a good example of how fracturing your thoughts can greatly misconstrue the meaning of your words.”

—drsmooth23


“Here is a fascinating article on why Winnie Illi Pu is not quite authentic Classical Latin as the Romans would have written it. I do not agree with the final conclusion though.”

Elizabeth J Pyatt


“I read a satirical linguist journal sometimes.”

Ahab


“Loving the new issue of Speculative Grammarianperfectly timed to avoid an essay, as usual!”

Marina Lauer


Speculative Grammarian is a collection of linguistic satire. There is a load of stuff there, but this set of puns caught my eye.”

Sean Roberts


Oh my! Pick Astronomy! Wow! Though Ben Browder just isn’t my type. (Or Physics, even better!)”

—Sylvia Sotomayor


A humorous take on NLP.”

Steven Nunn


That’s it. No need to synthesize. Now, you damn lazy linguist, go find one of those!”

Maju


“[It] reminded me of that genial linguistic magazine: Speculative Grammarian, which I had not read in years. It’s still as good as ever (for an intellectual good laugh).”

Maju


In Soviet Russia consonants palatalize you! I laughed so hard at that.”

Mike Aubrey


““Step one: find a native speaker” Amazing!”

—F00tnotes


“neeerdy! yay: “How to do Fieldwork on Proto-Indo-European”.”

Rob Brogan


“I love Speculative Grammarian so hard: “How to do Fieldwork on Proto-Indo-European”.”

notthemarimba


“There are many views on this little mark [the serial comma]. Look here to read one solution.”

Grammar Police


SpecGram is full of clever and witty articles on a wide range of linguistics topics and you could be the next illustrious author to be published!”

The Underlings


“Stay abreast of breaking research in satirical linguistics with Speculative Grammarian.

Joshua Marker


“It isn’t easy studying linguistics at university. Not only do you have to keep on coming up with creative answers to the frequently asked question, “so which languages do you speak?” (pi?) but often, you can’t even find your textbooks in a library or a bookshop (linguistics books are found variably with the philosophy, modern languages, psychology, science and even new age sections). No matter how many times you explain that linguistics is “the science of language” or that it involves the study of the evolution, structure, form, history, acquisition and variation of language (among other things), you are invariably met with a look of scepticism. “That’s a real subject?”

There is help, however. Or, at least, company. I was in my third year at university when I discovered Speculative Grammarian (AKA SpecGram), a wonderful, hysterical, satirical, online linguistics journal. A fellow linguist (yes, linguist; linguistician is such an ugly word) pointed me in the direction of the Choose Your Own Career in Linguistics page and once I’d stopped laughing, I managed to move my mouse pointer towards some of the earlier issues of the journal and it’s been keeping me in in-jokes ever since.”

Bex


“Some of my favourite articles include:
Why Linguistics Is Not a Science and Why Linguistics Doesn’t Care (some variation of the essay title, “linguistics is a science; discuss” was guaranteed to come up in my Ling101 exam).
What Is Linguistics Good for, Anyway? (picking up chicks, apparently; damn. To be followed by Love Queries of a Linguist and How They Do It in Linguistics.
Murphy’s Law as Applied to Field Linguistics (this is why Chomsky wasn’t interested in the language spoken by real people).
Autodescriptives (this will be wholly unfunny to anyone who has no knowledge of linguistic processes but contains a list of words describing sound changes that have themselves undergone the sound change; rhotacism, for example, means “bunging in an extra r sound” so in this article, it is written as rhotarcism. This article was one of my main revision sources before my historical linguistics exam).”

Bex


“Jag snubblade över en lite annorlunda handledning på nätet. Den ger tjugo praktiska råd, om inte i konsten att övertyga så i varje fall i konsten att inte svara på frågor. Mycket lämplig för ministrar, ledarskribenter och annat löst folk.”

Max Andersson


“everyone knows that umpteen is 61

or 29,101

or 30,505

or 47,318

or 48,020”

SteveKay


“Poczytaj sobie SpecGrama to się dowiesz/domyślisz. Swoją drogą, strona ta jest po prostu genialna, jakby ktoś jeszcze jej nie znał...”

Kwadracik


“LOOOL. ciekawe, czy ta bibliografia jest prawdziwa.”

varpho


“Swoją drogą, przypomniał mi się najbardziej leniwy język świata z Gramatyka-Spekulanta.

pittmirg


“I take it you’ve never heard of Palinilap Cimordromic.”

—TomHChappell


“Now that we are at the end of the semester some of you may be wondering where a career in linguistics can take you. I urge you not to rule out modelling for book covers. Alternatively, take this illuminating quiz.”

Piers Kelly


“Thanks for SpecGram! It’s a great read.”

—Arlen Cuss


“Your journal is awesome!”

—Laura Aldridge


“To me this feels very judgmental.”

Molodoi chelovek


“And how is “euphoniousness” not the epitome of subjectiveness. The only way I can think of that last “measurement” as being in any way scientific is if there were some way to gauge positive mental reactions according to a variety of sounds. Perhaps this is possible, but otherwise the idea of euphoniousness is so absurdly opinion-based that it would be impossible to judge according to the different languages.”

Molodoi chelovek


“Fine, but doesn’t that just mean that one language is only easier to learn or speak, vaster or simpler? Do these things truly make one superior in the grand scheme?”

Molodoi chelovek


Fascinating. The only problem is that one falls into Platonic-inspired terms—good, superior, better. I still find it very much ethno-centric to label them as such.”

Molodoi chelovek


“Written by those wacky Hoya pranksters Dikembe Mutombo and John Thompson!”

—Poisonville


“I especially enjoyed “saving French discontinuous negatives”!”

gabbagabbahey


“um... what about the weighting of parameters?”

gabbagabbahey


Speculative Grammarian: The journal of satirical linguistics. The more you know, the funnier it is, of course.”

Paul Sank


“Oh, I get it, it’s a breakdown in intertransferability of signifiers and signifieds. LOL, structural linguistics!”

—pieisexactlythree


Here, you can find a nice recipe of gavagai with peppers.”

—Daniel Charms


Nogle morsomme uddrag af nogle studerendes besvarelser fra en prøve hvor de skulle beskrive lyden [w].”

Ruben Schachtenhaufen


“What is [glottochronology] anyway?”

—the_interpreter


“For a humorous approach, see here.”
—confusedlinguist


“How many interpretations does the following sentence have? Pretty little girl’s school. Believe it or not, there are at least five interpretations. ... If you want an illustration, you can find it here, along with other fun linguistic stuff.”

Linguist-in-Waiting


Both humorous and true! Excellent.”

—JamesGold


“Hey! I love languages. I’m currently a linguistics major, because I had to declare something. Once upon a time I was googling and came across a funny website that had a bunch of different scenarios—“so you are a linguistics major and pre-med”—and explained what it thought would happen—“you are flipping burgers or selling your soul to MCAT prep companies”.

But now I can’t find the website!! Is there anyone out there who knows it / has mad google skills and could find it for me?”

—uwisthebest

Choose Your Own Career in Linguistics
—ClassicRockerDad


“Contemplation: Profound.”

Christine


“I’m in love....”

Alfita


“now I am doubting my own rigor—just finished “skimming” this.”

Gervais Mulongoy


Speculative Grammarian is a magazine of satirical linguistic sketches.”

—SOLAR


Speculative Grammarian: I simply had to share this. I really needed a laugh today and this is what I found. It is hilarious. Enjoy.”

Beril


SpecGram: ingressive nasal velar trill, anyone?”

Laura E Aldridge


SpecGram: this is awesome :)”

Laura E Aldridge


маленький разговорник для туристов

—temp1ar


Знаете это?”

—lehoslav

“Да, читал. Забавно, но в данном случае никак не помогает.”
—shravan


Fictional Foundations of NLP, aka “Where’s my jetpack?!” I love anything quoting Manning & Schutze...”

catibrown


“What a wonderful find your publication is! I am just starting to trawl through the archives and I’m sure that there will be much to amuse and inform me. ... Looking forward to enjoying many hours of reading.”

—Jeremy Wheeler


Speculative Grammarian: For a bit of fun with linguistics, a humorous site with a linguistics theme.”

Corybobory


Speculative Grammarian is easily one of the nineteen best online linguistic humor magazines of the past three months—and you can come quote me on that.”

David J. Peterson


“It’s terribly exciting, there’s not only a new issue of Speculative Grammarian out (the premier scholarly journal featuring research in the neglected field of satirical linguistics), but it’s a bumper issue of linguistic puzzles, and there’s one that I can just about finish. (3 = types of N-P C in the I P A)

cath


“I think this crossword puzzle is pretty linguistigeeky too.

(I admit to hoping that I can some day actually solve it.)”

Philip Newton


“Whenever you need a break from X-bar-ing those trees, do check out Speculative Grammarian’s groundbreaking articles in the burgeoning field of satirical linguistics. I was particularly astounded by the theoretical implications of the discoveries described by Doggett, Cardinal, Sanders, and Ussishkin in “Double-Sided Copy Theory” (Jan. 2006).”

Nathan Schneider


“ehehe. in the background of the cartoon, you can see “buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo” diagrammed out.”

Kevin Ryan Mooney


“It is weird that “conlanging” had turned into such a bad or somehow bad thing... I never felt like it wouild endanger my life.”

TJ


“I am not an addict, I can stop anytime. :)

—Polly


“Are you sometimes, or indeed frequently gripped by the urge to create languages? Do your doodles often become new alphabets? Do you feel compelled to create worlds in which your languages and alphabets might be used? If so, help is at hand in the form of Conlangers Anonymous, an organisation founded by Francis Lodwick in 1694 and discussed in Speculative Grammarian, the premier journal of satirical linguistics. ”

Simon Ager


“LOL. That is classic.”

—Garth Wallace


“I think SpecGram has been infiltrated.”

—Arthaey Angosii


“This article explores how syntactic and semantic ambiguity is significant to humor; it also gives humorous examples of lexical ambiguity.”

—Thomaesa Brundage


“I’m in love with the article about the Bleggish language. It’s like David Foster Wallace is channeling Ferdinand de Saussure.”

—Colonel Cathcart


“Oh but how could you have missed this article! It’s brilliant! Reminds me of time cube guy.”

—Tarasoriku


“Disappointingly, SpecGram is rarely as funny as it always seems like it should be, and this article is no exception.”

—Radius Solis


Speculative Grammarian wants to help us [conlangers].”

—dhokarena56


“From SpecGram: Linguistics Land Nursery Rhymes and 10 New Commandments for Linguists

Bex Walton


“ ‘ “How many languages do you speak?” A good answer: π.’

Close enough.”

Emily


“Spanish linguistics fail.”

Tyler D


“Kellogg-Reed diagram, X-bar diagram, sentence flow diagram, grammatical diagram, phrase diagram ... is your head beginning to spin? Bring a little humor in as a antidote: Modern and Historical Graphical Representations of Structural Relationships in Spoken and Written English Sentential Utterances, selected and presented, with commentary, by Nattapoŋ Yunloŋ Seuŋyoŋ.”

—mjes


that’s cute.”

TheSnowLeper


“In order to convince my parents that my prospective major, linguistics, wasn’t completely useless, I showed them this game: SpecGramChoose Your Own Career in Linguistics.”

—Millancad


“You should certainly start reading Speculative Grammarian. The back issues are archived. Also, they’ve digitized and made online-available Lingua Pranca and Son of Lingua Pranca, which were originally published before the World Wide Web became a commonplace. You would also enjoy a much more contemporary work in the same vein, Collateral Descendant of Lingua Pranca.”

—TomHChappell


“Stay abreast of breaking research in satirical linguistics with Speculative Grammarian.

Joshua Marker


“I love Speculative Grammarian, and I love that article.”

—melindawoodley


“[A] comment on length reminded me of something I came across recently.”

—Lev Michael


маленький разговорник для туристов

—temp1ar


“I’m a fan of the Balloon Animal State Machine approach, myself.”

daverob


Speculative Grammarian is a collection of linguistic satire. There is a load of stuff there, but this set of puns caught my eye.”

Sean Roberts


“Thank you once again for SpecGram. It makes me laugh, it makes me cry, it makes me wonder if I can cite it in my PhD.”

—Jonathan Downie


“I absolutely love SpecGram. It points out so many patent absurdities that it is surprising that it has not already become the most cited lingustics journal of all time. Hopefully, such ridicule will eventually lead to some of the stranger and crazier aspects of studies in liguistics being sorted, or at least made into funny cartoons.”

—Jonathan Downie


“I suppose this illustrates my preference over experimental methods of inquiry instead of simply sitting down and theorizing on linguistic phenomena.”

Linguist-in-Waiting


“Here’s a funny article from Speculative Grammarian, a satirical take on the academic field of linguistics.”

Linguist-in-Waiting


“Weird ‘n’ wicked”

Sabine Bartsch


“The premier online source for linguistics humor (Yes, linguistics humor).”

The Conlanger’s Library


“Less seriously, see this.”

eldin raigmore


“Hm, I wonder what kind of linguist wrote this test...”

LSA Concordia Linguists


“Very sadly it doesn’t actually add up—even assuming that half the turducken makes it into the casserole, and half the casserole makes it as sausage into the next turducken, that’s still a factor of 4 reduction each week. The stated 4,487 turduckens collectively represent a reduction by a factor of 44487 or about 102700. Assuming a turkey is mainly proteins with a molecular mass of say 2000, a turkey is about two moles (mmm, turkey mole) or 1024 molecules. That means the chances of an original molecule being in a 2008 serving is about 1 in 102676. Unless Dr Clarke is a homeopathist, he probably won’t be able to taste the original olive.”

—Peter


“Caution. The calculations of Bjorn-Bob Weaselflinger of the Oceanographic Institute of Nevada imply that construction of a sufficiently meta dumpling could trigger the collapse of local space into a gravitational singularity (although this may have already happened at the creation of our universe). ”

—Kublai


“But you have to admit...“meta-dumplings” sounds tasty!”

—qag1964


That is the awesomest thing I have ever heard of (though the statistically significant olive particles from 1922 are kinda gross).”

—tjb


“I had totally forgotten about SpecGram.

—Seagull


“I LOVE SPECGRAM!!!! Especially “Cartoon theories of linguistics”.”

—TBvaccine


“I love SpecGram.

—BuckBear


“I also read SpecGram and want to be published there.”

—Jonathan Downie


“Не знаю, как я это раньше упустил. Если вы интересуетесь лингвистикой - вам обязательно надо читать Speculative Grammarian. Если интересуетесь поверхностно - то хотя бы вещи типа Dates in the Month of May that Are of Interest to Linguists или The Linguist’s Self-Definer (это из древнего сборника Lingua Pranca). А лингвистам - читать почти всё...”

Паша


“Now, that was a real knee-slapper!!”

—siuniab


“The symbol (and sometimes the sound itself) is called ‘oink’. It was used in some medieval texts along ‘ash’, ‘thorn’ etc.—although much less frequently, which explains why even some experts seem not to know about it”

—vindex


“Be a sport and produce this sound. ... I dare you to make this sound. If you’re feeling a little nervy about it, here’s my advice: lie down on your back, close your eyes and in just a few minutes you could be producing this sound regularly.”

—mg


“I urge you ... to enjoy this delightful, humorous site. Choosing your own career in linguistics is really fun. Many of the puzzles and games should elicit a smile or two as well. My favorite is the Self-Defining Puzzle.”

—Trudy Bentley Rech


“For those ... who have a good sense of ironic humor, I would heartily recommend checking out the website of Speculative Grammarian.

—Trudy Bentley Rech


“Also, we should not forget Speculative Grammarian, the foremost journal in the field of satirical linguistics. ”

—FoiledAgain


“Moram s vama da podelim jedan burleskan, duhoviti, ali u suštini kritički, kao bajagi sociolingvistički tekstić, iz jednog satiričnog lingvističkog časopisa, koji je povezan s ovom temom: „O uljudnosti prema ženama u slovenskim jezicima“, Émil Schouwiniste-Pigge”

—Ђорђе Божовић


“Your site is a scream. I just came across it trying to fake my way into seeming smarter in front of my 16-year-old, who is living my academic ambitions. I look forward to reading more and to learning why people smirk briefly when I refer to philology. ”

—Mike Brown


“A bit of linguistic dork humor.”

lunarroseaerialelm


“My favourite was “syllables”.”

—rickardspaghetti


Funny!

—ashucky


“I’m loving it! My favourite was Phonology vs. Phonetics.”

—Maximillian


“I just found this: Cartoon Theories of Linguistics

—Ave94


“Ahh, what can prosody not tell one about syntax?”

Online Ennui


Brilliant. I’m tempted to record myself saying each [meaning of “pretty little girl’s school”] with appropriate stress.”

Tristan


“Numerus: Singular, Plural und auch Dual! Wer hätte das je gedacht? Ich wollte mehr darüber wissen und ... Danach fand ich diese ironisch gemeinte Website.”

PatMan2008


Opettelemalla muutaman gootinkielisen lauseen saa varmaakin helposti ystäviä oikeista ´gooteista.”

—sitten vaan


“You might find this cartoon instructive.”

—Athaulf


“The Probem With NLP: I just found this source while investigating Garden Path sentences, and it kind of blew my mind about how the words and phrases we use carry multiple meanings. ”

—drsmooth23


“You must know about Speculative Grammarian? The online journal featuring research in the neglected field of satirical linguistics? Pure gold. Try the choose your own career in linguistics game.”

Corybobory


“Some of my favorite linguist humor—U.S. Government Linguists in Action

anateus


“вот так, зайдешь в интернет по маленькой надобности...и вдруг узнаёшь СТРАШНОЕ! Винни Пух-то, оказывается, ни разу не “англичанин”! Доказательство.”

ultra_ata


“Thought you guys might be amused by this—it’s a paper from the linguistic version of the Journal of Irreproducible Results, entitled “Linguistic Contributions To The Formal Theory Of Big-Game Hunting.” Much of its humor comes from knowledge of linguistic fields, but one does not have to be a linguist to understand that this is hilarious.”

Amhran na Sidhe


Speculative Grammarian (highly reassuring website for linguists)”

The University of York Linguistic Society


“Even though I anticipated the punchline, this [cartoon] still made me laugh just loud enough for everyone in the computer lab I’m currently sat in to look at me strangely.”

Janus Jacquet


“Sorry in advance to all our TM/computation linguistics friends but these cartoons are hilarious. The first is on automatic text alignment and the second is on computational linguistics. (Yes, I am a nerd.)”

Jonathan Downie


“The [CLV.ζ] issue is a bit hardcore in its pseudo-geekery and meta-meta-humour, even for me, but while I was there, I checked out the December [2008] issue and had a good chortle at How They Do It in Linguistics (“Syntacticians do it with trees,” “Neurolinguists do it with magnets,” “Phonologists do it with deviation,” ad infinitum, ad nauseam)—ah, the oldies but goodies—and a poetic duel between a “practical speller” and a “skeptical speller,” of which I am sure that George Bernard ghoti Shaw would approve (annoyingly, that reference was included at the end of the poem so I can’t claim to be clever here, although I did think of it by myself).”

Bexquisite


“[M]y all-time favourite SpecGram post [is] Choose Your Own Career in Linguistics, which indulges both my linguistic geekery and my nostalgia for choose your own adventure books, and which is funny ‘cause it’s true.”

Bexquisite


“The best satirical linguistics newsletter this side of the—well, the best one ever. It may be the only one, as well...hmm.”

Iridescent Rainbow


“Det er et tilbagevendende tema på SpecGram om nasal ingressive voiceless velar trill skal indføres i IPA-skemaet eller ej. Det foreslåede IPA-symbol er det såkaldte double-dot wide-o. Se det er noget der kan få en fonetiker til at fnise.”

Ruben Schachtenhaufen


“Hvis du ikke kender Speculative Grammarian, så tag et kig på det. Det er lingvistisk satire på højt plan.”

Ruben Schachtenhaufen


That’s wonderfully awesome. *snort* (..)

Byronium


“Als je het over taalregels hebt moet je eigenlijk twee soorten ‘regels’ onderscheiden: descriptieve en prescriptieve (of ‘beschrijvende’ en ‘voorschrijvende’). ... Twee plaatjes zeggen meer dan duizend woorden.”

—grol4


“Сатирический журнал для лингвистов.”

—Kasya


“If you like word play, you might also like SpecGram ... in which linguists prove why linguistics doesn’t attract a lot of interest as a major.”

—Virginia Hunter


“Zawsze ktos kupi takie mumbo-jumbo o gramatyce uniwersalnej, ktora pojawila sie jako mutacja genetyczna. Czary-mary, nie bylo jezyka, i oto jest jezyk. To jest moj ulubiony tekst na ten temat. Zamiast LAD wstawic UG. LAD to troche taka wczesniejsza wersja UG.”

—charioteer


“Believe me it’s funny ... If you’re a real linguist or just a working stiff of a translator like me who wants to be distracted, you’ll find this article worth your while to check it out.”

John Gordon Ross


SpecGram’s humour mostly lies in its apparent earnestness, but it is beautifully creative, for example, having invented the field of Langualogy.”

John Gordon Ross


“A Language Hat post has introduced me to Speculative Grammarian, “the premier scholarly journal featuring research in the neglected field of satirical linguistics,” and it is fabulous.”

John Gordon Ross


Speculative Grammarian, that corpus of linguistic wisdom, presents a fine description of eminently practical uses of linguistics.”

Marcus Collins


“Vous pourrez visiter ... un article de Speculative Grammarian qui montre qu’on peut s’amuser même avec les langues anciennes.”

semensat


Speculative Grammarian had a cartoon series with some hilarious cartoons. You can find them all using the search form on the main page. Their merchandise has funny graphics as well.”

mirmarmelade


Specgram has the most tempting personal advertisements I’ve ever seen, like Single Statistical Quadratic Psycho-Discourse Analyst Seeks Single Phonologist For Heart-Shifting Fling or Single Pragmatist Seeks Same. Now, I am of a morphological persuasion myself, with a pronounced tendency towards typology and vestiges of interest in semantics and syntax, but you never know. They also have most engaging crosswords. Absolutely delightful and no doubt time-consuming. Right what I need at the moment. Indeed. ”

neigehilde


“What a frightening place this journal must be. I had pictured some coffeehouse zombies with a printing press in the basement, but it appears they have an entire dysfunctional corporate bureaucracy.”

Nijma


“Much of the story sounds plausible.”

—Pete
“It would only sound plausible to somebody with a name like ‘Pete’.”
—A.J.P. Crown


“A wonderful spoof!”

—marie-lucie


“‘Devonshire-upon-Glencullen’ sounds like an exotic and expensive kind of Irish coffee.”

—A.J.P. Crown


“Pratchett-worthy footnotes.”

zhoen


“I loved the footnotes.”

Language Hat


Speculative Grammarian [has] this wonderful piece from Volume CLII, Number γ. In it, Sir Edmund C. Gladstone-Chamberlain, Professor Emeritus of Linguistic Science, Department of Lexicology and Glottometrics, Devonshire-upon-Glencullen University, Southampton, describes his youthful encounter with a very strange language spoken by a remote tribe deep in the Amazon Basin and his discovery of how the language worked and, eventually, of the unfortunate history behind it.”

Language Hat


“Seriously, I read this and my jaw dropped. Not only at the hilarious footnotes but the incredible story of how a language came to be made up almost entirely of adverbs. A bit longish but well worth the read.”

xeronos


“I think my favorite is still “All your morpheme are belong to us”, because it’s just so darn clever, what with morphemes being ‘bases’ of sorts. But it’s almost painfully geek-y. And I really do like “Will perform nasal-ingressive voiceless velar trills for food”, but I don’t think I can make a nasal-ingressive voiceless velar trill. Maybe if I practiced. Huh. Wow. Ok. Not looking at this website any more.”

B.


“Try inhaling through your nose and make your velum vibrate. I am sure you can!”

—linguaholic


“wtf is a nasal-ingressive voiceless velar trill? I couldn’t even begin to articulate that...it makes no sense.”

—’’’


“Thank you for yet another very entertaining puzzle!”

—Sara Kessler


“I feel right at home with SpecGram. Thank you for the regular laughs.”

Nynke de Haas


Taalkundehumor!”

—L’Escargot


“The next issue is coming out next month, and it promises to be positively saturated with obscure in-jokes and footnotes.”

—fnordulicious


“I had my first academic publication in SpecGram with the current issue. I’m not sure what that says about me, other than that I’m a linguist and a nerd.”

—fnordulicious


Speculative Grammarian (a highly reassuring website for linguists)”

The University of York Linguistic Society


“Linguists w/ a sense of humor? No way!!!!

—Vardelm


“I like SpecGram. I can’t get my daughter and other relatives to laugh at its jokes, though.”

—Tom H Chappell


“In case you never heard of “phonological ergativity” you might enjoy [this].”

—Tom H Chappell


“I liked that a lot. ... I’ve wondered whether social scientistsand maybe other scientistshave a term for the percentage of “edge cases” that must be discarded as irrelevant, in order to get a nice correlation or have the results match the prediction. Maybe recision is the term.”

Walt Crawford


“I love recision

—Candy Schwartz


Hehehe

Mark Lindner


“Those cynical chaps at Speculative Grammarian make a mockery of all that is good and holy about Computational Linguistics and Information Retrieval.”

Fred 2.0


“What is Linguistics Good For? Those of you who are familiar with IPA (and I know your name is Legion) will definitely enjoy this. Those of you who have any sort of familiarity with Russian will probably like it too.”

Mike Aubrey


Speculative Grammarian is the premier scholarly journal featuring research in the neglected field of satirical linguistics. Try their crossword for linguists (take THAT New York Times Sunday x-word!).”

sukiglot


“‘Oo’s a KITTY-POO? I see a KITTY BOO BOO! Oh no, my PRIONS! This is lolarious!”

Miss Crystal


Polecam, naprawdę świetne.”

Kwadracik


“Other SpecGram interesting (funny) articles may be:

  • A reinterpretation of some aspects of the Indoeuorpean expansion, by William C. Spruiell.
  • Towards a new classification of European languages, by Dr. Medved Sem... based in the word for ‘umbrella’ and resulting in a very curious map (forget about centum and satem languages!).
  • Linguistic Topology, by I. Juana Pelota-Grande. That results (among others) in some quite curious ‘topologies’.”
    —Maju


    “Sadly a lot of ‘theories’ about hypothetical connections (like the one on Basco-Berber ones) are made up that way: with loads of imagination, forced connections, unexistent words (or loanwords from third languages) and bad translations, resuling in total madness.

    Some good examples of this can be found in Speculative Grammarian articles, specially those of Tim Pulju. For instance:

  • Reconstructed Proto-Franco-Sino-Indonesian
  • A Reconsideration of the Sino-Kiowan Problem (where Pilju contradicts his previous thesis to find out that Chinese is actually a pidgin of Kiowan and English)”
    —Maju


    “это здорово!!!”


    “Кроме очень правильных статей про лингвистику, также присутствуют игры и кроссворды, фундаментальныне лингвистические понятия в комиксах, фонд вооружения вымирающих языков и акция по включению в международный фонетический алфавит символа, обозначающего назально–ингрессивный глухой велярный вибрирующий звук, иными словами хрюканье.”


    “I have ... been reading Linguistics Cartoons. They’re not that super good, especially considering the idea behind them is to illustrate linguistic concepts in such a way that a ‘bright, interested ten-year-old’ could understand them (as an undergrad linguist, I have found many of them nearly incomprehensible), but a few are good, including this one and this one.”


    This is why I read EVERY word of EVERY issue of Speculative Grammarian ... pure genius!”

    —Carl Spies


    “那个网站会好些语言学家、语言学研究者、爱好者写了些讽刺的、挖苦的、搞笑的文章,也有些图片,旨在用简明的方法讲述语言学。”


    “Check [SpecGram] out if you’ve got the time, it’s worth some good chuckles.”

    —vet


    “... the self-proclaimed first (and only!) journal of satirical linguistics, Speculative Grammarian.

    —vet


    “Don’t [read SpecGram] unless you have time to procrastinate a bit.”


    “It is true that Linguists are weird. Here is proof.”


    SpecGram is the best satirical work on linguistics available world-wide.”


    “Be sure to check out ‘A Stratificational Approach to Making Macaroni and Cheese’. Definitely worth your time.”


    “Possibly the most brilliant thing I’ve ever read.”

    Vlad


    Speculative Grammarian is probably my favorite linguistic journal in existence.”


    “Your publication of December 2008 has been received. It has been read. It has been enjoyed. The enjoyment was thorough.”

    —Carolyn Andrews Schlemmer, Ph.D.


    “I’m a retired professor who finally has time to read every article with deep appreciation as well as understanding of 58% (± 3%) of the obvious in-jokes. With further study, I hope to work my way up to comprehension of greater than 70%. Ain’t retirement great! Eat your hearts out, working linguists!”

    —Carolyn Andrews Schlemmer, Ph.D.


    “Each issue surpasses the last!”

    —Carolyn Andrews Schlemmer, Ph.D.


    “Trött på vanliga korsord och soduku, och vad alla de olika pusseltyperna nu heter? Speculative Grammarian har lösningen: The Polyglot’s Magic Square.”

    —Orla Vigsø


    “Haha, that is awesome.”

    —ekesobriquet


    “It does not need to be said that all the articles for SpecGram are written for humorous value, and are a highly readable, lovely load of jovial tosh.”


    “The brilliant Speculative Grammarian website ... explores the much neglected field of satirical linguistics.”


    “My congratulations to Tim Pulju on having written a wonderful, humorous article which recently came to my attention, entitled New Directions in the Teaching of Human Languages to Non-Humans.”


    That is hysterical. I’m forwarding it around my department.”


    Speculative Grammarian has a cute choose-your-own-adventure version of life called ‘Choose Your Own Career in Linguistics.’ Clearly I made the wrong choice when I declared my major. Thanks a lot, Speculative Grammarian.


    “смешной журнал.”


    “вот эти мне нравятсяconfigurational languages, ergativity, morphological typology.”


    “Je crois que tout est dit. Bon c’est pas toujours facile à comprendre (ces mecs là sont vraiment atteints, faut le voir pour le croire...), mais on trouve des trucs sympa comme un manifeste pour la linguistique subliminale, une approche de la démographie basée sur corpus ou une illustration de phénomènes phonologiques avec Bob l’Éponge. Il faut au moins y aller pour tester le Choose Your Own Career in Linguistics, qui est vraiment à hurler de rire et qui peut être utile pour ceux qui envisagent un double cursus linguistique/astronomie.”


    Das ist ja genial!”

    —Neele


    “Zum phonologischen Wahnwitz siehe auch nasal-ingressive voiceless velar trill.”

    —Patzlan


    “Here’s a cartoon that nicely distinguishes between the broad strokes (in this case the stroke is delivered by a lance!) of phonological description, compared to the detailed precision of phonetic analysis.”


    “Suomessa ei kai kovin paljon gootteja ole mutta tässä linkki, ‘Goottia matkailijoille’. Opettelemalla muutaman gootinkielisen lauseen saa varmaakin helposti ystäviä oikeista ´gooteista.”

    —sitten vaan


    SpecGram: L’unico! L’inimitabile! Linguistica folle!”


    “So you think your vocabulary is pretty good? Try this crossword puzzle for linguists. It made me laugh out loud.”


    Speculative Grammarian is the premier scholarly journal featuring research in the neglected field of satirical linguistics. This site can be downright hilarious sometimes.”


    “Thank goodness there is someone out there besides me who adores run-on sentences, twisted ramblings, academic parody, and satirical linguistics.”


    “Thank you so much for providing a little comic relief on stressful days, and keep up the good work, we depend on you! (Although, admittedly, there are only very few people around to share the jokes.)”

    —Lieselotte Anderwald


    “Now here’s an intelligent way of wasting one’s time.”

    —Lieselotte Anderwald


    “Oh yes, self-deprecation abounds on SpecGram; the latest issue has an article from ‘SpecGram Suzie’ who parodies linguists and linguistics rather nicely.”


    “An excellentif depressinginteractive feature on my favourite spoof linguistics journal, SpecGram: Choose Your Own Career in Linguistics. ”


    “Of course, Eduard Sievers would be turning in his grave, because as fine as this little poem is, it does not follow the dictates of Germanic Alliterative Verse! Travesty!”


    “One of the internet’s most original publications: Speculative Grammarian.


    “Sometimes one comes across an item of such exquisite nerdiosity, that the only emotion one can feel is awe mixed with jealously for not having thought of it oneself. ”


    “Far and away, this is my favorite Gothic language site.”

    —arclight


    Here is a spectacular bit of poking fun at syntax. It might be funny even if you haven’t taken syntax, but I couldn’t guarantee that.”


    “Gotta love serious academicians who also enjoy poking fun at their own chosen field of specialization. For a veritable feast of such inside jokes, see Linguist of Fortune, Psammeticus Quarterly and Speculative Grammarian.


    “ooh, I’m the Grand High Poobah of Linguistics.”


    “Career in Linguistics. You Sure? The tongue-in-dictionary-cheek Speculative Grammarian writes, ‘The siren song of linguistics is too appealing, you can’t resist.’ So you declare it your major. What’s next? Play their Choose Your Own Career in Linguistics to find out!”


    “...the world’s greatest specialists in satirical linguistics...”

    Cath


    “Thank God I’ve found other people who love grammar and language and aren’t afraid to make fun of it. ”


    “Now, the linguists among you simply must visit Speculative Grammarian, the premier site for ‘satirical linguistics’. I have only just discovered it and it’s intermittently brilliant.”


    “Satirical linguistics journal, yay.”


    “At SpecGram any aspriring linguist can get a glimpse of the future when choosing your career in linguistics.”


    “Zum Amüsement für Linguisten”


    “I just attracted a very strange look from my husband at the next computer, thanks to performing a nasal-ingressive voiceless velar trill to see what it sounded like. Curse you!”


    “I am Language and Puzzle Geek, hear me roar!”


    “... the LinguiGeekSquee of discovering Speculative Grammarian ...”


    “I had promised myself that I was going to go to bed early tonight ... and now I want to stay up all night and read back issues of Speculative Grammarian.

    —kmi


    Beowulf ond Godsylla is the funniest thing I’ve seen all year.”

    —kmi


    “I had to read all those articles, and the publications of Psammeticus PressI was laughing so hard I nearly fell over. My son came in to yell at me and tell me to stop laughing.”

    —Libby


    “If you love Old English (or at the very least, fine malt liquor of any persuasion), you should see their fabulous new snippet from Beowulf, Beowulf ond Godsylla.”

    —Libby


    “But if you ever wished you had studied linguistics, you should check out SpecGram.

    —Libby


    “If you have an incredibly geeky appreciation for linguistics humor (face it: telling jokes about phonemes and morphemes is not ‘normal’), be sure to check out SpecGram. The classifieds are particularly hilarious.”

    —DT


    “Oh. My. God. That is fabulous.


    “It’s like Beowulf and the Swedish Chef had love kittens.”


    Speculative Grammarian is awesome. Go check it.”


    “You might appreciate this article from Speculative Grammarian, the journal of ‘satirical linguistics’. It is entitled ‘The Lexicalist Agenda: Exposing the Myths’, and I thought it was really funny.”


    “Actually, that entire journal is just fantastic.”

    —Lem


    This makes me go squee!”

    —Katie


    “I’m embarrassed to admit I don’t get most of those...”


    “ling love: i love this.”


    “Dit is vooral leuk als je interesse hebt in taal kunde, maar ik wilde hem toch even laten zien. Het komt van een sarcastische taalkunde site: Een ‘artikel’ over de distributie van de lidwoorden ‘a’ en ‘an’ in het Engels. Carrièreplanning voor linguïsten.”


    “Linguistischer Nonsens im Überfluss. Zahlreiche nicht wirklich ernst gemeinte Artikel, Schlaglichter auf schräge Phänomene und insgesamt eine wirkich komische Satire auf den wissenschaftlichen Normalbetrieb. Amüsant sind auch die kleinen Spielchen ‘Choose Your Own Career In Linguistics’ und das ‘Indo-European Crossword Puzzle’.”


    “Het is zo nerdig dat het gaaf wordt”

    —hilbert


    “Linguïstenhumorja, het bestaat.”


    “Wer, wie ich, gerne viel Zeit mit Dingen verbringt, die schlicht und einfach Zeit fressen, ohne dazu zu führen, dass die Welt gerettet oder die Hausarbeit fertig wird, hat bestimmt seinen Spaß mit Vaguely Linguistic Transforms.”


    SpecGram is great. SpecGram is wonderful.”

    —Pekka


    This is... just... wow.”


    “I really like these and I might just use them when teaching syntax in a few weeks’ time.”


    Speculative Grammarian, a satirical linguistics journal (if you can believe such a thing exists).”

    —Richard Dunlop-Walters


    Dr. Phlogiston’s article also contains several panels that will be of great value in the classroom.”


    “This is only the second cartoon about computational linguistics that I know of.”


    “Here is the funniest linguistics-related thing I have ever read.”


    “You should see the Speculative Grammarian article on the language in which the elative dual was always suppletive. It was funny.”

    —Tom H Chappell


    “Thanks for all the brain-food.”


    “I just stumbled across your site and so can’t make head nor tail of it (sic) that I will have to keep on reading. I was, of course hoping to learn something about NLP/AI. The ironic thing is that I may learn more from reading your journal than attempting to process any amount of more scholarly looking stuff.”


    “Heavens!”


    “My favorite computer-assisted career counseling is ‘Choose Your Own Career in Linguistics’ at Speculative Grammarian. I always knew I should work for the science fiction industry. Yeah!”


    “The best thing in the issue is the letter to the editor about yod-droppers.”


    “I just love making nasal-ingressive voiceless velar trills. Can do’em in my sleep.”


    “Ironia i humor per a lingüistes.”

    —Joaquim Llisterri


    “Humoristisk e-blad om lingvistik og lingvisters særheder.”


    “If you haven’t played it yet, I recommend the ‘Choose your own career in linguistics’ feature.”


    “I loved your Phonetics vs. Phonology cartoon in the September 2007 issue.”

    —Máire Noonan


    “If you haven’t read Linguistic Topology yet, you must. (All the way to the end, folks; it’s worth it, trust me on this.)”


    “After many a (veryindeed extremely) welcome reprint of past volumes, Speculative Grammarian has a new edition on line! O Frabjous Day! Calloo Callay, she chortled in her joy.”


    “I know it’s a satirical journal so I’m embarrassed to say how much I could enjoy puzzles like this.”


    Reading through the other options I’m getting increasingly depressed.”


    Speculative Grammarian knows where I live.”


    “yesit’s ‘choose your own career in linguistics’ !”


    “As antidote to so much heavy-lifting, there is this snarky piece in the current issue of Speculative Grammarian about the creeping tide of Lexicalism. It was spot on.”


    “Umlaut marks are the spawn of satan!!!

    The only place two dots should ever be together is centered in a wide ‘O’ to represent a nasal ingressive voiceless velar trill, but that’s about it.”

    —Taras


    Speculative Grammarian: who says linguists take themselves too seriously?”


    “Una visió humorísticaperò certade les relacions entre la fonètica i la fonologia: Parenchyma, H. (2007) ‘Cartoon Theories of LinguisticsPart EPhonetics vs. Phonology’, Speculative Grammarian CLIII, 1.”

    —Joaquim Llisterri


    “I have taken some time off my thesis and lost some sleep to finish your magnificent Monster LingDoku. Thanks for teaching me how Hangul works! I hope you have as much trouble reading my solution as I had constructing it.”


    The Sudoku were very interesting! The Samurai one was a bit tough, but the Monster one is just ridiculous!”


    “This looks like an interesting site.”

    BG


    Speculative Grammarian is well worth a thorough browse, packed as it is with ‘twisted ramblings, academic parody [and] satirical linguistics’, including The LingoA car designed for linguists... by linguists, The European Dialects of Cheese, and crosswords for linguists.”


    “Ahh, the academic funnybone. The footnotes are worth reading if you don’t have time for the whole article.”


    “Thank You!! for the many good laughs and the much-needed satirical insight into linguistics.”

    —Madalena Cruz-Ferreira


    “Для всех делающих вид, что знает и любит языки: сатирический журнал Speculative Grammarian, сделанный лингвистами для лингвистов и примазывающихся.”


    “ключевые слова: сатира, шарж, шутка, развлечение.”


    “Красота.”


    “One of my favourite websites, as a) a former linguistics student and b) someone who works for a (real!) journal, is SpecGram, or Speculative Grammarian, which is a fantastic spoof linguistics journal. It is particularly amusing that so many of the articles could almost be real.”

    Bex


    ясно и наглядно о нон-конфигурационных языках!


    “Linguistics lovers beware.”


    “Enjoy, language nerds!”


    Sudoku + phonology mashup. Run away!”


    Rating the world’s languages. Snerk.”


    “I’m happy that (in a total fairytale not resembling academia in the least) I won on my first go-round.”


    “So far, I am mildly amused by the typo on their home page.”


    “Awesome.”


    “Man, I’ve been subscribing to this for a while. It’s great.”


    “Funny stuff.”

    Adam


    “Brilliant.”


    “This is hilarious.”


    “I like the puzzles, especially the Indo-European crossword and the Canadian version of the LingDoku.”


    “Don’t miss: Re-Rating the World’s Languages, Hunting the Elusive Labio-Nasal, The Endangered Languages Armamentation Programme, New speech disorder linguists contracted discovered! and of course Choose Your Own Career in Linguistics.”

    Paul


    This is great!”


    “Brilliant!”


    “Wacky linguists spoof themselves, rating a collection of languages along a whole range of variables.”


    “Friday afternoon fun: ... Choose Your Own Career in Linguistics. ... Will it be a double major in Linguistics and English with a serving of fries, or great glory analyzing the language of beings on distant planets. You choose your path ...”


    that just upped my geek intake by 300%”


    This is SO dorky...and yet, I laughed shamelessly. ”


    “I really want that ‘All Your Morpheme Are Belong To Us’ shirt, but I don’t think anyone at work would get both halves of the joke.”


    “so, i’ve been occasionally stumbling on [SpecGram] for a while now, ... and i’m addicted now.”


    “Meist sehr humorvoll. Vorsicht: macht süchtig!”

    Tee


    “A hilarious online linguistics satire magazine. ... It has linguistics sudoku puzzles. With the IPA! A Proto-Indo-European crossword! And a pick-your-own adventure game that takes you through the non-existent wacky world of linguistics careers.”


    “I could recommend Speculative Grammarian to any linguists...”


    “This is possibly the geekiest thing that I’ve ever seen: a crossword puzzle in Proto-Indo-European.”


    “Extreme language geekery”


    “LMFAO. That’s brilliant! And [sigh] [cringe] actually pretty accurate...”


    Scarily accurate.”


    “Glimrende artikkel om retorikk i SpecGram med gode tips om hvordan vinne enhver debatt.”

    Anje


    “Linguistics definitely has its share of obscure insider lingo. For that reason alone it’s extremely doubtful that a nonlinguist would find any humor in, say, Speculative Grammarian.

    —Robert M Peachey


    “Habrá que leer más a Merritt Greenberg y Joseph Ruhlen que a los de verdad.”


    “hahahahahaha!”

    —Manic veG wonK


    potentially amusing to the linguisticians among you”

    cati


    “I ran across your current issue again. What a scream!”

    —Agnes


    Speculative Grammarian, die Zeitschrift für satirische Linguistik.”


    “Empfehlenswert für alle, die sich schon immer für die Verbindung von Sprachwissenschaft und Humor interessiert haben: SpecGram.


    “Oh my gorsh, this is the coolest thing ever...”


    “I just found this online and did a happy dance...”


    Speculative Grammarian (a.k.a. the best spot to find esoteric linguistics humor)”


    My Soul was Crushed. It was awesome.”

    —Fraser


    “Brilliant! Have been sitting here for the past two hours listening to cello, drinking Armagnac, and roaring with laughter at the writings on your pages.”

    —Andrew MacFarland


    “I laughed.”

    —Mikey


    “Someone has a twisted sense of humour.”


    “Great. Amazing. I love it. Laughed my heads off.”

    —Slashbunny


    “Yes! I love that! Talk about brain exercise...”


    “I like it, even though it does make my head hurt.”


    “well that’s just greatly reduced my english skills”


    “Wow. That’s... beautiful and horrible at the same time.”

    Ada


    Ow.


    “Ahhhh. Make it stop.”


    That hurt both my eyes and my head.”


    “Viccesnek van álcázva, de már a címe is nagyon provokatív.”

    —varasdi


    “ ‘Highly respected.’ ”


    “Fun with nerdy humor!”

    —Dancing Barefoot


    “It’s a reprint of Lingua Pranca from 1978, but it’s still funny as hell.”

    —Dancing Barefoot


    “If anyone wants to look at linguistic sillyness, I would suggest Speculative Grammarian.


    “ ‘For your reading gladness’ This phrase aptly describes my experience of SpecGram. I totally love it.”

    —Linda Kerby


    “We at the LINGUIST List enjoy your humorous site and have spent no little time browsing around it.”


    “This is a site which has kept me entertained for hours and hours on end. ‘Tis particularly suitable for long working days with nothing to do.”


    “Linguistics (noun, singular): The alleged discipline professed by anyone whom Speculative Grammarian amuses.”


    “I’m always glad to find some new scholarship I had previously missed.”


    “Descriptivists fight back! With ABSURDISM!

    —Tilton


    “Looking for an article entitled ‘How Many is Umpteen?’ Feeling a need for a Proto-Indo-European roots crossword puzzle? Then this is the journal for you.”


    “My qod that site is brilliant!”


    “A sort of Mad Magazine for linguistics.”


    Speculative Grammarian ... promises some dandy satirical linguism!”


    Speculative Grammarian [is] a sort of parody on grammatical research.”


    “I was getting worried... but I wonder, if there really is something more behind it!!!??? And who is the satire for??? Many questions.”

    —John Bateman


    “Sociopathological.”

    —Pete Gaughan


    “For all those with a passing interest in linguistics, I recommend the wit and silliness of Speculative Grammarian magazine.”

    —Anelie Walsh


    “Honestly, where do people find the time? This stuff is hilarious!! Check out the letters to the editor in particular.”

    —Talmida


    “... Speculative Grammarian, which I think is the best online linguistics magazine ever.”


    “This one is for linguists, and lovers of language and the utterly, sublimely ridiculous. One of my favourite spots on the internet.”

    —oceanannie


    “Oooh, found a great website for you language freaks with a sense of humor.”


    “I think there are a fair share of geeks ... who will sickly enjoy it as much as I.”

    —Seven


    “Gosh, Speculative Grammarian is a hoot.”

    phl


    “Go, enjoy, but don’t say I didn’t warn you you might get your brains addled.”


    “How did I ever live without it?”


    “Check out this parody of abstruse linguistics at its most absurd. A brilliant satire.”

    —Rat


    “Read it and laugh.”


    “Satirical linguistics. Bravo!”


    “These are very funny people!! Little snorts and chuckles sneak up on you at every turn.”

    —Talmida


    “If you’ve ever struggled through some dusty collection in the periodicals room in a desperate last-ditch attempt to pad your bibliography on that final under-grad paper, you will get the humour of SpecGram. If you’re a language buff, you should be writing for it.”

    —Talmida


    Speculative Grammarian ... appears to be to linguistics what the Annals of Improbable Research is to other sciences.”


    “Philological madness!”

    —Maju


    “I think it’s not just hilarious but actually instructive.”

    —Maju


    “Daring innovative theories in the linguistic field.”

    —Maju


    “‘Counterpoint: Why Linguistics Doesn’t Care’ got me all hot and bothered in my language centre. Oh, my very sensitive Wernicke’s Area. Oh, oh my.”


    Speculative Grammarian tackles the important issues in linguisticsand lifehead on, uncompromisingly, and with punctuation that’ll take your eye out.”


    “The best thing about my SpecGram discovery is that it feels like learning, but not the kind that makes my phonological system strain and my brain implode.”


    “What can you do with a degree in Linguistics, you ask? Play the game and find out!”

    Mel


    “Besides being wonderful dorky nostalgia, it’s actually quite funny/insightful.”


    “Vittig om lingvistikk! Sjekk ut denne siden for å få deg en god latter.”

    Anje


    “Linguists: This is funny!!! ... I laughed.”


    “Ever read Speculative Grammarian? If you did not read Speculative Grammarian yet, give it a try...”

    —Damir Cavar


    “Hey! This site amuses me. Ah, the trials of choosing your own career in Linguistics. Pretty funny stuff.”


    Twenty Special Forms Of Rhetoric is the funniest thing I’ve read for, oh, about a week.”



  • Last updated Jan. 28, 2012.