When my students discovered phonetics
And that speaking involves much kinetics,
They cried: “So much hustle
Moving tendon and muscle!”
So they gladly embraced speech synthetics.
—Algo V. Terbi
There once was a student of Quechua
Whose adviser advised her, “Now get you a
Look at expressing
Emphatic and guessing,”
To which she replied, “Oh, you bet you-a!”
—Pumptilian Perniquity
Some say that my tongue’s analytic;
Of this view you will find me a critic,
For head markings abound
And often I’ve found
That subjects mark tense with a clitic.
—Pete Bleackley
Old Tolkien has quite a high standing
For conlangs that meet tastes demanding.
But all that he wrought
Shows “tone ilk” he’s not,
All an’grams thereof notwithstanding.
—Hester Fester-Münsterfenster
That family restaurant
Serves my favorite chocolate snack,
With hot syncope sauce.
—Sheri Wells-Jensen
Bayesian schmayesian
Babies acquiring
Speech variation are
Very confused
Probabilistically
Object impermanence
Nixes invisible
Markovs from use
—Andrew Lamont
