Occam’s Phraser—Advertisement SpecGram Vol CLXXXIII, No 2 Contents The History of Rome—Advertisement
The Ockham Post Hoc–Gazette
CLASSIFIEDS
BUSINESS
Whether you’ve broken only one window entity, or a multiplicity of window entities, we can fix it (or them) in one quick visit.

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DEMOLITION

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CAREERS
Learn the simplest way to multiply income streams. Occam’s Fund­raiser Jobs.
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SERVICES
Are your local skeptics too complex? Try Occam’s Naysayer.
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Testimonial
“I couldn’t shave myself because my trusty old razor had gone blunt. And my barber wouldn’t shave me because he only shaves men who don’t shave themselves (or something like that). So I was in quite a complex quandary. But thanks to Occam’s Laser Hair Removal, my chin is as beautifully bald as the present King of France, and I’m no longer an unmarried bachelor.”
—Bert Rand
PRODUCTS
Superheated groundwater the simple wayOccam’s geyser.
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Haven’t the time to binge-watch classic sitcoms? Try the collected best episodes: Occam’s “Frasier”.
Measuring the volume of objects through immersion in liquid is a messy business. Indeed, those who attempt it often end up running around dripping wet, with no clothes on, yelling in Greek. Are you vexed by volume? Try the simple solution: Occam’s Displacer!
Find the perfect compliment for any occasion with Occam’s Praiser.
Fancy French cooking techniques leave you bewildered? Get simply delicious results with Occam’s Braiser!
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Correct any mis-spellings involving the first letter of the Latin alphabet with Occam’s re-‘A’s-er.
Enjoy yourself in Francophone countries with Occam’s Plaisir.
★ Occam’s Raiser ★
So often I need to pick something up and just can’t find the energy. But now I’ve got Occam’s Raiser, and I find I can lift anything from a bowling ball to a car, my salary, or even an embedded subject.

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OCCAM’S TASER — See Our Ad In This Month’s Issue of Speculative Grammarian.
Are you seeing double? Are your spectacles failing to live up to their promise? Has the wildlife in your backyard started to look uncomfortably like your children?

You need Occam’s Gazer, the sight-adjusting tool that supersedes glasses, binoculars, and all other visual assistance. Just pop on an Occam’s Gazer, and you’ll be seeing everything as clear as day! Any size, any distanceOccam’s Gazer!
HEALTH
Feel like comparing the exercise levels of Scotsmen? Try Och, Ah’m Lazier.
Breathe easy with Ockham’s Nasal Spray.
Are you a new age yoga / mindfulness / meditation practitioner who’s had enough of a succession of mantras to guide you inner journey? Try these ultimate spiritual words for a parsimonious sure-fire route to your own nirvana: “Oh, calm’s rays! Ah! Oh, calm’s rays! Ah! Oh, calm’s rays ...”
NOTICES
The singing group OckhaPella, famous for reducing songs to a bare minimum number of notes, is seeking a minimal number of new members. Contact band leader William XXIV of Ockham for details.
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Occam’s Stargazer Update: Astronomers have discovered a comet passing near the center of our solar system. Whereas most minor planets follow complex orbits, this one traces out what seems to be the simplest possible path. The comet has been dubbed “Occam’s Sun-Grazer”.
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SpecGram Vol CLXXXIII, No 2 Contents