My World and Welcome To It--Letter from the Editor SpecGram Vol CXLVII, No 1 Contents Relative Size of Broca's Area and Facility in Speech Production--Center for Proactive Neurolinguistics

Basic Ithacan
A Dictionary of Core Vocabulary

by Trey Jones, Cornell '91

Ithacan is a dialect of English spoken by a subculture at Cornell University in Ithaca, N.Y. Oddly enough, the speakers of Ithacan are almost without exception from somewhere other than Ithaca. It has been theorized elsewhere (T. Jones, in preparation) that Ithacan is in fact a pidgin dialect that has resulted from the contact between various dialects within the Cornell community. Such issues are beyond the scope of the present project.

astronomy
n., any useless or futile endeavor.
cool beanage
interj. [traceable back to Middle High Bostonian], ok, great.
cornell
n., hell, purgatory.
dining
n., food.
down
adv. [common in Central New Yorkian], in the direction of the center of town.
fall
n., an experience that was once beautiful or pleasing but which now usually foreshadows something bad or undesirable
frozen crap
n., snow, sleet, slush, sometimes hail. Also white crap.
-geek
suffix, one who studies (a given subject).
gorge
v., to die, to be killed.
graduate
v., to leave Ithaca, usu. permanently.
ithacate
v., to precipitate, usu. rain, but also snow.
professor
n. [from Old AmeroCollegiate], an absent minded or foolish person.
pyramid
n., mall.
rare thing
n., the sun. Also little rare thing, the moon.
rare z's
n. [probably a borrowing from Lower InterCollegiate], sleep.
sagan
n. [a satirical usage, Referring to Carl Sagan, who is anything but], a myth-like hero or god.
semester
n. [a clear borrowing from Upper Collegiate], an indeterminate length of time, used in giving prison sentences, typically eight or more.
senioritis
n., an obsessive desire to leave Ithaca permanently.
sky
n., clouds or cloudcover.
spring
n., the time of year when the second wave of snowstorms arrive.
student
n., a crazed, maniacal person.
summer
n., a time of unnatural quiet or stillness.
sun
n., newspaper, as in "The Cornell Daily Sun".
weather
n., an unpredictable but generally disappointing experience.
wind chill
n., the actual temperature (as opposed to the forecast temperature)
winter
n., a long boring or uncomfortable experience.

Following is a conversation showing some of the uses of the Basic Ithacan core vocabulary:

Speaker A: Oh, man... today I felt like I'd been gorged and sent to cornell. I couldn't get any rare z's last night, so class was like winter today. I wandered from building to building in the spring ithacation like a professor. The sun predicted a high of 45°, but the wind chill was 35°, so of course the white crap started to fall while I was going down. I saw my ex-girlfriend, too, it was like fall. She finished school last year, but hasn't graduated yet, y'know. We said "hello" to each other and then summer set in. For five minutes neither of us spoke, then she left. Now I've got senioritis bad.

Speaker B: Dude, she's just a weather-woman. Don't flip out like a student or something. Worrying about her is just plain astronomy. I know a little chemistry-geek who thinks you're sagan, so take her to the pyramid, see a movie, get some dining. Maybe the rare thing will shine on you.

Speaker A: Cool beanage! Thanks, dude...

My World and Welcome To It--Letter from the Editor
Relative Size of Broca's Area and Facility in Speech Production--Center for Proactive Neurolinguistics
SpecGram Vol CXLVII, No 1 Contents