SyllaBerries

[While going through the Language Made Difficult archives, we discovered a series of advertisements from Captain Major Mills that never made it to air. Our lawyers know us well, so they threw in a clause that wouldn’t make us give the money back if we published the ad copy before our sponsor noticed. That’s quite fortunate, as we’ve already spent the money providing the LMD talent, who are smart enough to insert their own vowels, with Abjad-Bits from one of our sponsor’s competitors. The second ad is below. —Eds.]

If you love SyllaBerries but hate having to twist your head to read them, ᙅᗩᑎᕕᗪᒑᗋᕆ ᕕᗸᐤᖇᒑᘜᒑᕱᗗᒪ SyllaBerries are Evans-sent! Made with Rice Lake rice and Saskatoon berries, they’re the creation for the Cree Nation! You’re never more than 45 degrees away from a perfectly aligned syllable. Didn’t get the vowels you wanted? Simply stir and try again. Try just one bowl and you’ll be Inuit! ᙅᗩᑎᕕᗪᒑᗋᕆ ᕕᗸᐤᖇᒑᘜᒑᕱᗗᒪ SyllaBerries are available at Abigail’s Abu Ghraib Abugida Bodega or wherever fine foods are sold.

Warning: Please aim away from other people when pronouncing lateral fricatives.

	Good Enough for Folk Etymology—Part I—A. Pocryphal & Verity du Bius
	Cryptolinguistic Puzzle —Mary Shapiro—Truman State University
	SpecGram Vol CLXXXI, No 4 Contents