I found your reply to FS/Effie concerning the Doom/
I hope Effie escaped unharmed.
As is well known by any well-
Siva K. is right to point out that the transcription of a cow’s moo given in Rhodes (1994: 279) should be interpreted as [ʔm̰ɨ̰̃ː˩˨˩] rather than [ʔm̰ɨ̰̃ː˥˦˥]. However, he does not seem to be aware that in the last 15 years Californian cows have, for social reasons that I’ll not go into, been extending interrogative intonation patterns to declarative mugiencies. Further details may be found in my report “ ‘Up-
We’ve heard about this uptalk thing? We’re not sure we’re ready to buy it? Sounds like something someone made up? To make fun of Valley Girls? Totally? And now you claim the cows are doing it? Malarkey?
Please find attached my submission to your estimable journal. The paper, now entitled “The probity of linguistic probability,” has been thoroughly revised once again, this time in accord with the suggestions which your secretarial staff outlined in rejecting the 43rd draft last autumn. You will note, I am sure, that I have paid scrupulous attention to their comments.
I eagerly await notification of your acceptance of this paper.
We are not interested in your paper. Please stop submitting it. It is not good. In fact, each draft got worse, until we stopped reading them. We will not publish this draft, nor will we read any future drafts.
Fearing that you would disregard this rejection once again, we have decided to make it publicly. Perhaps your friends and colleagues, on seeing this, will be able to communicate more clearly with you than we have been able to.
Dear Dr. Editor,
I’m 20 years old and a linguistics undergrad. Last week, I found myself for the first time talking to a Spanish native speaker, and somehow I thoroughly enjoyed the conversation. I think I even became fluent. Does this mean I’m bilingual? I don’t know what to think of myself now
P.S.: Please don’t tell my professors!
Dear Bi-lingual Curious,
You can’t let the world at large define who you are. In the United States, people like to label themselves and others as monolingual, with anything else being socially unacceptable. You’ll hear people say how they learned a smattering of French, German, or Spanish during an “experimental phase” in college. Some will admit to knowing a few words of Japanese or Swahili like it is some sort of perversion. In reality, most people in the world fall somewhere on the fluency spectrum in more than one language, and society doesn’t crumble. Just look at the decadent, liberal Europeans, many of whom speak several languages
Speculative Grammarian accepts well-