Though tempted I am to critique
The French orthographic physique,
When comparing with English
I find naught to distinguish,
So I’m saying they both have “mystique”.
—Roman C. S. Pelling
There truly is just a small touch
Of irony, not very much,
That the Teutonic sounds
In Germany’s towns
Aren’t called by the apt name of “Dutch”.
—Joost van Deutscher
Common Sense[i]s
My Japanese Linguistics teacher told me,
‘Antonyms are pairs of lexemes with opposing senses;
Lexeme A has sense A and lexeme B has sense not-A.
Common sense, eh?’
As this definition opposed my senses, I asked,
‘Teacher, what’s the antonym of teacher?’
She said, ‘Figure it out for yourself.’
I said, ‘I will, sensei.’
—Anton Imm
(with help from Zinn O’Nym)
Light speed comes with a plethora
Of ethical issues for sure-a
No weight and no time
As you read line by line
For poetry, that’s just immora
—Hein Stein
Ling T.A.’s Lament
A love of language I’m here to bestir.
And deep knowledge of words I’ll confer.
And while, yes, it is true
That I’m older than you—
Not by much, so stop calling me sir!
—Chaz Tushka
I once knew a hermit gone mad;
He started off holy; turned bad
Spent hours in prayer,
Then would drink, fight and swear;
It was worse than unutterably sad.
Then someone said, ‘Teach him linguistics;
Some syntax, some socio-phonetics.’
He gained three PhDs
And now, if you please,
He is counted as one of the mystics.
—Miss Tix
