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1. Ministry of Propaganda (15 visits)

The SpecGram Ministry of Propaganda. Welcome to the SpecGram Ministry of Propaganda. The SpecGram Archive Elves™ have undertaken a project to digitize and share a sheaf of early 20th century SpecGram propaganda posters, which were used during the Great Linguistic War and the Second Linguistic War to encourage linguists everywhere to keep a stiff upper lip and a sense of humor during those trying times. We provide the digitized posters here for you to enjoy, retrospect on, and share. Select a poster to see a higher quality image, and for links to share on social media, to email friends, and to view or download the highest quality version of the image. ... Read SpecGram Every Month! ... [ more ]


2. Archives (12 visits)

SpecGram Archives. A word from our Senior Archivist, Holger Delbrück: While bringing aging media to the web and hence the world is truly a labor of love, SpecGram tries the passion of even the most ardent admirer. Needless to say, we’ve fallen behind schedule. At every turn, the authors found in the pages of this hallowed journal stretch credibility with their gratuitous font mongering—first it was the IPA, then a few non-standard transcription systems, then Greek, and not just the alphabet, but the entire diacritical mess, and now I’ve got some god-forsaken Old Church Slavonic glyph sitting on my desk that no one can even name, and which would give the Unicode Consortium ... [ more ]


3. Lingua Pranca—Linguistic Contributions To The Formal Theory Of Big-Game Hunting—R. Mathiesen (10 visits)

Linguistic Contributions To The Formal Theory Of Big-Game Hunting1. R. Mathiesen, Brown University. The Mathematical Theory of Big-Game Hunting must surely be ranked among the major scientific achievements of the twentieth century. That this is so is largely the work of one man, H. Pétard, in whose fundamental paper (1938) certain recent advances in mathematics and physics were employed with great skill to create a theory of unmatched—not to say unmatchable!—power and elegance. One must not, of course, dismiss Pétard’s predecessors totally out of hand: the field had a long and distinguished history as a technology, was raised to the rank of a science by the ... [ more ] Podcast!


4. Merchandise (9 visits)

Speculative Grammarian Merchandise. Introduction. In order to lend a hand to our good friends and steadfast supporters over at the Linguist List during their 2006 fund drive, we prepared a small selection of limited edition SpecGram merchandise, including T-shirts, stickers and magnets. Originally these items were only available as prizes awarded as part of the Linguist List fund drive. In 2012, several of the SpecGram editors suffered from a rare form of collective frontal lobe damage, which made it seem like a good idea to put together a SpecGram book. The result in 2013 was The Speculative Grammarian Essential Guide to Linguistics. In 2014, Editor Mikael Thompson entered a deep fugue ... [ more ]


5. Vol CLXV, No 4 (8 visits)

SPECULATIVE GRAMMARIAN, Volume CLXV, Number 4; October 2012, MANAGING EDITOR Trey Jones SENIOR EDITOR Keith Slater EDITOR EMERITUS Tim Pulju Speculative Grammarian, Vol CLXV, No 4 CONSULTING EDITORS David J. Peterson Bill Spruiell, ASSOCIATE EDITORS Madalena Cruz-Ferreira Daniela Müller Mikael Thompson, EDITORIAL ASSOCIATES Cem Bozsahin Florian Breit Jonathan Downie Adam Graham Tel Monks Mary Pearce Callum Robson Mary Shapiro Sheri Wells-Jensen, COMPTROLLER GENERAL Joey Whitford Stop Voicing Now! ... [ more ]


6. SpecGram, Quarterly—A Letter from the Editor-in-Chief (7 visits)

SpecGram, Quarterly. A Letter from the Editor-in-Chief. [Note: Due to a scheduling error 0 and tight deadline, we were unable to cull a small percentage of the Editor-in-Chief’s extensive and extraneous footnotes. Our usual modus operandi is to allow him to annotate and divagate to his tiny black heart’s approximation of contentment, and then mercilessly cut the dead weight with a red pencil-cum-machete. In this case, we were only able to remove and repair the subsequent rhetorical and narrative damage for approximately 86.7% (by weight) of the Editor-in-Chief’s most egregious footnotery. We apologize for the unavoidable ... [ more ]


7. Vol CXCV, No 2 (6 visits)

Speculative Grammarian Volume CXCV, Number 2 Penultimate Issue Editor-in-Chief: Trey Jones; Executive Editors: Keith Slater, Mikael Thompson; Senior Editors: Jonathan Downie, Deak Kirkham, Vincent Fish; Contributing Editors: Pete Bleackley, Luca Dinu; Associate Editors: Yuval Wigderson, Daniel Swanson; Editorial Associates: Kenny Baclawski, Emily Davis, Gabriel Lanyi, Mark Mandel, Tel Monks; Comptroller General: Joey Whitford; All the Noise That’s Fit to Print; November 2025, ... [ more ]


8. Center Embedding Passives—A Call for Further Research—Advertisement (5 visits)

ADVERTISEMENT Center Embedding Passives—A Call for Further Research. We have been following with interest the execrable discussion of center embedding (Küçük, Palin, Drome, and M.Adam). The “analyses” presented by the various authors strike us as quite possibly the most heinous atrocities ever perpetrated on Linguistkind. If it were only the analyses that failed to pass muster, we would confine our reaction to a mere sigh of conference paper proportions; however in this case, even the data itself is repugnantly inadequate, and this cannot pass uncorrected. The list of “center embedding” languages which has thus far been discussed in this lamentable exchange includes the ... [ more ]


9. Prädikatsaussage—Advertisement (5 visits)

ADVERTISEMENT Prädikat­saussage. We live in an age in which scientific knowledge is growing by leaps and bounds. An age in which each new piece of knowledge enriches technology. An age in which the production of marvels the past had only dreamed of, or never could have conceived of, is easy and economical. An age in which lightning boils our water, in which goo from the ground heats our homes, in which lowly fungi save us from disease. And now, it is an age in which the rules of thought keep us fed! In a triumph of high technology, our firm, Prima­lecker­früh­stücks­fleischer­zeugungs­begüns­tigungs­gesellschaft GmbH, and its American subsidiary Primlick Inc. are pleased ... [ more ]


10. Books (5 visits)

SpecGram Books. A number of books and book-like entities (including various monographs) have come into existence in and around Speculative Grammarian over the years. Here we’ve collected links to all of their digital and corporeal manifestations in one place for your convenience. ... The Splendid Words, by James S. Pasto,; January 2019 The tale of a man obsessed, driven by a hunger and thirst to uncover—he knows not what! Far past reason, he has hunted and hated, been haunted and humiliated. Now his search has borne fruit—discover whether it is bitter or sweet! Available to read online. ... The History of Rome, by Tim Pulju; July 2018 Speculative ... [ more ]


11. Vol CLXXV, No 2 (4 visits)

Speculative Grammarian Volume CLXXV, Number 2 ... Trey Jones, Editor-in-Chief; Keith Slater, Executive Editor; Bill Spruiell, Senior Editor, Sheri Wells-Jensen, Consulting Editor; Associate Editors: Pete Bleackley, Madalena Cruz-Ferreira, Jonathan Downie, Mikael Thompson; Assistant Editors: Virginia Bouchard, Florian Breit, Mark Mandel, Yuval Wigderson; Editorial Associates: Adam Baker, Bethany Carlson, Elizabeth Hackett, Tel Monks, Davis Prickett, Laura Ryals, Brock Schardin, Mary Shapiro, Isabelle Tellier; Joey Whitford, Comptroller General; Systemic But Not Systematic; February 2016 ... [ more ]


12. JLSSCNC—The Learner’s Task—Keith Slater (4 visits)

The Learner’s Task. Some say it isn’t any fun, to imitate another’s tongue; while idioms and turns of phrase, can often baffle and amaze, the novice who must learn their ways. Loquacious speakers seldom pause, to rest their ever moving jaws; and so the learner simply gapes, as useless input fast escapes--, these speakers might as well be apes!, Nor can one recognize the words, that stampede forth in growing herds, arranged in patterns quite opaque, and grammar strange enough to make, it clear that there’s been some mistake. (Such is the learner’s sorry stake!), But lest the learner, in dismay, abandon hope, I haste to say, that there remains one certain way: To learn a language, girls and guys, you ... [ more ] Podcast! Book!


13. Where are the Ghost Linguists?—Δρ. I.C. Дедпи Пол, Þн.δ. (4 visits)

Where are the Ghost Linguists?. Δρ. I.C. Дедпи Пол Þн.δ.. Over fifteen years ago, my friend and mentor—Dr. F. Ang Bangah, Ph.D.—published his seminal article, “Where are the Vampire Linguists?” (SpecGram Vol. CLVII, No. 2, 2009), in which he interpolated the plain facts presented in the HBO documentary television series True Blood into a call for leveraging the innate and explicit linguistic and anthropological knowledge of vampiric informants who are hundreds or even thousands of years old. Dr. Bangah initially opened the Vampiric Linguistics Advancement Department (V.L.A.D.) at the University ... [ more ]


14. Language Death by Speaker Rejection—More Case Studies—William Carlos Williams Carloses Williamses (4 visits)

Language Death by Speaker Rejection— More Case Studies. by William Carlos Williams Carloses Williamses, X. Quizzit Korps Center for Advanced Collaborative Studies. In a previous article I introduced a new mechanism of language death: that by which languages actively reject their speakers, rather than the other way around. I presented five case studies showing that this rejection is actually quite common. Since the publication of that article, I have discovered a number of additional examples of this phenomenon, and I summarize them here for those who, like me, crave a deeper understanding of how (and why) a language may refuse to permit its own transmission. Case Study 6: The Kih Lurty Language Kih Lurty is a language ... [ more ] Podcast!


15. Mix & Match ‖‖‖—Max & Mitch Ninelette (4 visits)

Mix & Match ‖‖‖. by Max & Mitch Ninelette. The goal of this Mix & Match puzzle is to reconstitute a set of nine 9-letter words that have each had three bigrams removed. Below are two separate puzzles. Each includes a table to fill out and a set of bigrams with which to fill it up. Using each bigram once, fill the blanks in the table to form various nine-letter words. When you are done, three additional words will be revealed in the vertical direction for each puzzle. If you think you’ve figured out all the answers—that’s 24 nine-letter words!—submit your solution to the editors of SpecGram by December 15th, 2025. Solutions and solvers will be ... [ more ]


16. The “Brezel-Rätsel”: How Sign Language Linguistics Can Solve Real-World Problems—Fabian Bross (4 visits)

The “Brezel-Rätsel”: How Sign Language Linguistics Can Solve Real-World Problems. Fabian Bross. The Problem. Everyday life presents us with many puzzling questions. One famous example of such a question is the correct way to hang toilet paper (either with the loose end hanging next to the wall or the reverse). Another, similarly fascinating question is the correct orientation of a pretzel. I call this problem the “Brezel-Rätsel” which is German for ‘pretzel puzzle’. The “Brezel-Rätsel” is illustrated in Figure 1 showing the four possible orientations of a Pretzel (ignoring intermediate stages of rotation). What is clear is that the ... [ more ]


17. Vol CLV, No 3 (4 visits)

SPECULATIVE GRAMMARIAN, Volume CLV, Number 3; December 2008, MANAGING EDITOR, SENIOR EDITOR, EDITOR EMERITUS, Trey Jones, Keith Slater, Tim Pulju, Speculative Grammarian, Vol CLV, No 3, CONSULTING EDITORS, Ken Miner, David J. Peterson, Bill Spruiell, ASSOCIATE EDITORS: James Crippen, Madalena Cruz-Ferreira, Jouni Maho, Carin Marais, Daniela Müller, CONTRIBUTING EDITORS Kean Kaufmann, Joey Whitford, e =, lim, n→∞ (1 +, 1, ... n, )n, K, ONKERINTOJ LAŬ, KONKERITOJ تیمور لنگ, Karolvs Magnvs, William the Bastard, Pôn Đu-me, Чингис Хаан, 데라우치 마사타케, Kakina, ... [ more ]


18. Letters to the Editor (CLII.4) (4 visits)

Letters to the Editor. Dear Members of the Editorial Board: As you know, since 1832, as per an agreement made between the Editorial Board at that time and the Grammar Entelechy, your journal and its stylistic guidelines have been reviewed at 52-year intervals by the Managing Archon. Enclosed below please find the Archon’s dicta regarding your current publication standards: We note with approval the very low incidence of that horrid prodigy of plebeian publishing, the “exclamation point.” We have found it lurking in your advertisements section, and understand that merchants are a base lot, and hard to manage; we urge you to keep strong the barriers preventing its migration into the more civilized sections of ... [ more ]


19. Rasmus Rask Mini Puzzle XII—Lila Rosa Grau (3 visits)

Rasmus Rask Mini Puzzle XII. by Lila Rosa Grau. This is the twelfth Rasmus Rask puzzle, devoted to the original Mr. Charming Scandinavian Linguist. The puzzle is similar to a crossword puzzle, in that there is a grid for filling in words and phrases, and clues for the ACROSS and DOWN directions. However, all the squares in a Rasmus Rask puzzle are filled with letters, and the answers to the clues may (but are not required to) overlap. Clues for a particular row or column are given together, in the order they appear in the grid. No indication of the amount of overlap between clues is given. Letters spelling out RASMUS RASK along the diagonal are given to provide a framework for filling in the answers. Grey ... [ more ]


20. International Name Testing Service—Advertisement (3 visits)

ADVERTISEMENT International Name Testing Service. How do you think Mr Fookeng Ho felt when he first came to the US and discovered what his name sounds like to Americans? How about Ms Fanny Tickler—who always thought her name sounded rather cute—when she arrived in London and discovered that saying her own name aloud around children might get her arrested? Consider poor Richard Head, who, as a child, could never get the other kids to call him Ricky—they always called him Dick, and made him cry. Do you want experiences like these to scar your children? Of course not: no one does. But are you fluent in English, Japanese, Spanish, Korean, German, Mon ... [ more ]


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Last updated Feb. 5, 2026.