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1. Archives (26 visits)

SpecGram Archives. A word from our Senior Archivist, Holger Delbrück: While bringing aging media to the web and hence the world is truly a labor of love, SpecGram tries the passion of even the most ardent admirer. Needless to say, we’ve fallen behind schedule. At every turn, the authors found in the pages of this hallowed journal stretch credibility with their gratuitous font mongering—first it was the IPA, then a few non-standard transcription systems, then Greek, and not just the alphabet, but the entire diacritical mess, and now I’ve got some god-forsaken Old Church Slavonic glyph sitting on my desk that no one can even name, and which would give the Unicode Consortium ... [ more ]


2. Merchandise (22 visits)

Speculative Grammarian Merchandise. Introduction. In order to lend a hand to our good friends and steadfast supporters over at the Linguist List during their 2006 fund drive, we prepared a small selection of limited edition SpecGram merchandise, including T-shirts, stickers and magnets. Originally these items were only available as prizes awarded as part of the Linguist List fund drive. In 2012, several of the SpecGram editors suffered from a rare form of collective frontal lobe damage, which made it seem like a good idea to put together a SpecGram book. The result in 2013 was The Speculative Grammarian Essential Guide to Linguistics. In 2014, Editor Mikael Thompson entered a deep fugue ... [ more ]


3. Vol CLXV, No 4 (17 visits)

SPECULATIVE GRAMMARIAN, Volume CLXV, Number 4; October 2012, MANAGING EDITOR Trey Jones SENIOR EDITOR Keith Slater EDITOR EMERITUS Tim Pulju Speculative Grammarian, Vol CLXV, No 4 CONSULTING EDITORS David J. Peterson Bill Spruiell, ASSOCIATE EDITORS Madalena Cruz-Ferreira Daniela Müller Mikael Thompson, EDITORIAL ASSOCIATES Cem Bozsahin Florian Breit Jonathan Downie Adam Graham Tel Monks Mary Pearce Callum Robson Mary Shapiro Sheri Wells-Jensen, COMPTROLLER GENERAL Joey Whitford Stop Voicing Now! ... [ more ]


4. On Ergative-Relativity—I. N. Stein (8 visits)

On Ergative-Relativity. I. N. Stein. Recently I was sitting under an apple tree near Bilbao, struggling with a Basque grammar and drinking one1 of the wonderful local alcoholic ciders, when I drifted off to sleep. A falling apple hit me on the head,2 and I awoke with the sudden realization of why I was having trouble making sense of the language. You see, Basque is not an ergative-absolutive language; rather, it is ergative-relative.3 In the low speaking-rate limit, ergative-relativity reduces to the ergative-absolutive paradigm of classical New Tonian linguistics.4 Most non-native Basque scholars speak a lightly inflected language whose alignment ... [ more ]


5. Vol CXCV, No 2 (7 visits)

Speculative Grammarian Volume CXCV, Number 2 Penultimate Issue Editor-in-Chief: Trey Jones; Executive Editors: Keith Slater, Mikael Thompson; Senior Editors: Jonathan Downie, Deak Kirkham, Vincent Fish; Contributing Editors: Pete Bleackley, Luca Dinu; Associate Editors: Yuval Wigderson, Daniel Swanson; Editorial Associates: Kenny Baclawski, Emily Davis, Gabriel Lanyi, Mark Mandel, Tel Monks; Comptroller General: Joey Whitford; All the Noise That’s Fit to Print; November 2025, ... [ more ]


6. Cartoon Theories of Linguistics—Part I—Non-Configurational Languages—Phineas Q. Phlogiston, Ph.D. (6 visits)

Cartoon Theories of Linguistics, Part I—Non-Configurational Languages. Phineas Q. Phlogiston, Ph.D. Unintentional University of Lghtnbrgstn. A. Mathematician Friend1 once told me that, in mathematics, it is sometimes said that if you cannot explain the basic outline of a mathematical idea to a bright and interested 10-year-old, then you don’t really understand it yourself. That got me thinking, and I’ve come to a couple of conclusions: According to my 10-year-old niece, I don’t understand any mathematical ideas. Something similar could be said for linguistic ideas.2 It is generally accepted that math is hard (Davis & Hersh, Friend, Lakoff & ... [ more ] Book!


7. A Literary Linguistic Analysis of The Very Hungry Caterpillar—Papili O’Noidea (5 visits)

A Literary Linguistic Analysis of The Very Hungry Caterpillar. Papili O’Noidea. Eric Carle’s delightful opus The Very Hungry Caterpillar has enchanted children for generations but has rarely been the subject of serious academic analysis. This article will repair this lacuna by showing how a stylistic account uncovers layers of hitherto occluded meanings. Prior Readings. Scholars have long suspected there was more to this tale than simple children’s entertainment. While the most recent studies have very much read the piece as an environmental tale—with E. Cologist (2019) locating it in the geo-hermeneutic critique of conspicuous consumption and Green & Pace (2017) ... [ more ]


8. Vol CLXXXI, No 1 (5 visits)

Speculative Grammarian Volume CLXXXI, Number 1 ... Trey Jones, Editor-in-Chief; Keith Slater, Executive Editor; Associate Editors: Pete Bleackley, Jonathan Downie, Mikael Thompson; Assistant Editors: Virginia Bouchard, Mark Mandel, Yuval Wigderson; Editorial Associates: Samuel Andersson, Brenda Boerger, Vincent Fish, Anita G. Gorman, Beth Martyn, Mary Shapiro, Bill Spruiell, Steve Straight, Daniel Swanson, Don Unger; Joey Whitford, Comptroller General; Forgotten But Not Gone; March 2018 ... [ more ]


9. Table-Top Role-Playing Games in Spite of Linguists—Birucë Shkërbadër (5 visits)

Table-Top Role-Playing Games, For With Against in Spite of Linguists. A Cautionary Tale for DMs, Players, and Other Linguists, Birucë Shkërbadër. The following vignette highlights some of the hazards and headaches of allowing certain kinds of “undesirables” at your gaming table. This is a partial transcript of an actual gaming session, partially redacted for brevity and to protect the litigious, and very slightly memeified to better infect the zeitgeist. Party: *fighting the BBEG* Wizard: I cast Wish. DM: Cool. The air crackles with fate-bending power as the very fabric of the Weave thrums around you, ready to obey your will. ... [ more ]


10. Ministry of Propaganda (5 visits)

The SpecGram Ministry of Propaganda. Welcome to the SpecGram Ministry of Propaganda. The SpecGram Archive Elves™ have undertaken a project to digitize and share a sheaf of early 20th century SpecGram propaganda posters, which were used during the Great Linguistic War and the Second Linguistic War to encourage linguists everywhere to keep a stiff upper lip and a sense of humor during those trying times. We provide the digitized posters here for you to enjoy, retrospect on, and share. Select a poster to see a higher quality image, and for links to share on social media, to email friends, and to view or download the highest quality version of the image. ... Read SpecGram Every Month! ... [ more ]


11. Cartoon Theories of Linguistics—Part E—Phonetics vs. Phonology—Hilário Parenchyma, C.Phil. (4 visits)

Cartoon Theories of Linguistics, Part E—Phonetics vs. Phonology. Hilário Parenchyma, C.Phil. Unintentional University of Lghtnbrgstn. We will skip the introduction, as we have been there, done that. Once more into the breach! For this installment in our series on Cartoon Theories of Linguistics, we will turn our attention to Phonetics and Phonology and the difference between the two: Phonetics:, ... Phonology:, ... Thanks to Professor Phlogiston, of the Unintentional University of Lghtnbrgstn, for the opportunity of a lifetime, as a student, to, on this occasion, share with so many of my fellow linguisticians my views, as illustrated above, concerning matters, which are of such immeasurable import ... [ more ] Merch! Book!


12. Vol CLI, No β (4 visits)

SPECULATIVE GRAMMARIAN, —in association with—, PSAMMETICUS PRESS, —is proud to present a special supplemental monograph—, Volume CLI, Number β ; September 2006, On the Necessity of a, Tri-Branching Corpse. by Tirizdi. Translated from the Original Zhyler by, Quentin Popinjay Snodgrass, Ph.D.. ... MANAGING EDITOR, Trey Jones, EDITOR EMERITUS, Tim Pulju, SENIOR EDITOR, Keith Slater, MONOGRAPH EDITOR, David J. Peterson, ... [ more ]


13. Vol CXCII, No 2 (4 visits)

Speculative Grammarian Volume CXCII, Number 2 Editor-in-Chief: Trey Jones; Executive Editor, Keith Slater, Senior Editors, Mikael Thompson, Jonathan Downie; Contributing Editors: Pete Bleackley, Deak Kirkham; Associate Editors: Vincent Fish, Mark Mandel; Assistant Editors: Emily Davis, Luca Dinu, Yuval Wigderson; Editorial Associates: Andrew Lamont, Steve Politzer-Ahles, Daniel Swanson, Katie Swanson; Comptroller General: Joey Whitford; Rescuing Phonotaxis From, the World’s Phoneytaxis; September 2022 ... [ more ]


14. Vol CLXVIII, No 4 (4 visits)

Speculative Grammarian Volume CLXVIII, Number 4 ... Trey Jones, Managing Editor, Keith Slater, Senior Editor, Bill Spruiell, Consulting Editor, Tim Pulju, Editor Emeritus; Associate Editors: Madalena Cruz-Ferreira, Mikael Thompson, Sheri Wells-Jensen; Editorial Associates: Kenny Baclawski, Pete Bleackley, Virginia Bouchard, Florian Breit, Bethany Carlson, Jonathan Caws-Elwitt, Jonathan Downie, Tel Monks, Daniela Müller, Tuuli Mustasydän, Cathal Peelo, David J. Peterson, Callum Robson, Zac Smith, Tangent Wong; Joey Whitford, Comptroller General; Now with 40% fewer adverbs!; December 2013 ... [ more ]


15. A Short History of American Linguistics—Tim Pulju (4 visits)

A Short History of American Linguistics*. Tim Pulju. Reprinted, with permission, from Historiographia Linguistica, XVIII:1.221-246 (1991), with minor updates and a new afterword by the author. *It has occurred to the Editor of this Journal [Historiographia Linguistica] that the History of Linguistics as an academic subject has sufficiently progressed during the past fifteen or more years to allow for this spoof to be printed in HL without being mistaken for proper scholarship. Indeed, after all the drudgery of historical research and the seriousness of reflection on matters of methodology and philosophical argument, we may be permitted to enjoy some lighter moments in our day-to-day ... [ more ] Book!


16. Vol CLVI, No 3 (4 visits)

SPECULATIVE GRAMMARIAN, Volume CLVI, Number 3; May 2009, MANAGING EDITOR, SENIOR EDITOR, EDITOR EMERITUS, Trey Jones, Keith Slater, Tim Pulju, Speculative Grammarian, Vol CLVI, No 3, CONSULTING EDITORS, Ken Miner, David J. Peterson, Bill Spruiell, ASSOCIATE EDITORS: Madalena Cruz-Ferreira, Jouni Maho, Daniela Müller, EDITORIAL ASSOCIATES, Yahya Abdal-Aziz, James Crippen, Misty A. Smith, James Stanford, Jörg Wenck, CONTRIBUTING EDITORS Kean Kaufmann, Joey Whitford, z0 = c; zn+1 = zn2 + c, OUR NEW ANIMAL O, VERLORDS?, Azy, Rico, N’kisi, Panpanzee, Koko, Alex, Loulis, ... [ more ]


17. Vol CLXXVIII, No 1 (4 visits)

Speculative Grammarian Volume CLXXVIII, Number 1 ... Trey Jones, Editor-in-Chief; Keith Slater, Executive Editor; Associate Editors: Pete Bleackley, Madalena Cruz-Ferreira, Jonathan Downie, Bill Spruiell, Mikael Thompson, Sheri Wells-Jensen; Assistant Editors: Virginia Bouchard, Mark Mandel, Yuval Wigderson; Editorial Associates: Kenny Baclawski, Adam Baker, Florian Breit, Bethany Carlson, Robin Day, Kean Kaufmann, Andrew Lamont, Carin Marais, Tel Monks, Mary Shapiro, Adham Smart, Kien-Wei Tseng, Don Unger; Joey Whitford, Comptroller General; Dummy See, Dummy Do; January 2017 ... [ more ]


18. Vol CLXIX, No 1 (4 visits)

Speculative Grammarian Volume CLXIX, Number 1 ... Trey Jones, Managing Editor, Keith Slater, Senior Editor, Bill Spruiell, Consulting Editor, Tim Pulju, Editor Emeritus; Associate Editors: Madalena Cruz-Ferreira, Mikael Thompson, Sheri Wells-Jensen; Editorial Associates: Kenny Baclawski, Pete Bleackley, Virginia Bouchard, Florian Breit, Bethany Carlson, Jonathan Caws-Elwitt, Jonathan Downie, Tel Monks, Daniela Müller, Tuuli Mustasydän, Cathal Peelo, David J. Peterson, Callum Robson, Zac Smith, Tangent Wong; Joey Whitford, Comptroller General; Watch Out Guys— We’ve Got a Bad-Asterisk Over Here; January 2014 ... [ more ]


19. Vol CLI, No 1 (4 visits)

SPECULATIVE GRAMMARIAN, Yet Another Mega Quote Issue Volume CLI, Number 1; January 2006, Speculative Grammarian, Vol CLI, No 1, The Lifestyle Magazine, for Linguists, MANAGING EDITOR, Trey Jones, EDITOR EMERITUS, Tim Pulju, SENIOR EDITOR, Keith Slater, ASSOCIATE EDITORS: Bryan Allen, Adam Baker, Candace Cardinal, Teal Doggett, Daniel Currie Hall, Martin Hilpert, Steven Lulich, Kean Kaufmann, Sheila McCann, Ken Miner, Michael Niv, Jamin Pelkey, Mikael Thompson, Nathan, Sanders, Bill Spruiell, Rob van der Sandt, Adam, Ussishkin, Joey Whitford, ... [ more ]


20. On the Proto-Indo-European Origin of ‘Twerk’—Mark Butcher & Mark Candlestick-Maker (4 visits)

On the Proto-Indo-European Origin of ‘Twerk’. Mark Butcher & Mark Candlestick-Maker, Department of PIE Studies, Pecan University. A common question asked of linguists these days, to our collective dismay, is “What is the etymology of ‘twerk’?”1 Twerking is a dance craze with respectable origins in the New Orleans bounce music scene,2 but it has enraged millions in recent years for reasons we would rather avoid writing about. Several authors have speculated that the term is a clipping of ‘footwork’ or a portmanteau of ‘twist’ and ‘jerk’3 (foolish speculation, we know). We will make the case that the word is of ... [ more ]


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Last updated Jan. 21, 2026.