SpecGram—Most Popular Pages

SpecGram Archives. A word from our Senior Archivist, Holger Delbrück: While bringing aging media to the web and hence the world is truly a labor of love, SpecGram tries the passion of even the most ardent admirer. Needless to say, we’ve fallen behind schedule. At every turn, the authors found in the pages of this hallowed journal stretch credibility with their gratuitous font mongering—first it was the IPA, then a few non-standard transcription systems, then Greek, and not just the alphabet, but the entire diacritical mess, and now I’ve got some god-forsaken Old Church Slavonic glyph sitting on my desk that no one can even name, and which would give the Unicode Consortium ... [ more ]

Speculative Grammarian and SpecGram.com. Our Story. The august journal Speculative Grammarian has a long, rich, and varied history, weaving an intricate and subtle tapestry from disparate strands of linguistics, philology, history, politics, science, technology, botany, pharmacokinetics, computer science, the mathematics of humor, basket weaving, archery, glass blowing, roller coaster design, and bowling, among numerous other, less obvious fields. SpecGram, as it is known to devotees and sworn enemies alike, has for centuries sought to bring together the greatest yet least understood minds of the time, embedding itself firmly in the cultural and psychological matrix of the global society while ... [ more ]

SPECULATIVE GRAMMARIAN, Volume CLXV, Number 4; October 2012, MANAGING EDITOR Trey Jones SENIOR EDITOR Keith Slater EDITOR EMERITUS Tim Pulju Speculative Grammarian, Vol CLXV, No 4 CONSULTING EDITORS David J. Peterson Bill Spruiell, ASSOCIATE EDITORS Madalena Cruz-Ferreira Daniela Müller Mikael Thompson, EDITORIAL ASSOCIATES Cem Bozsahin Florian Breit Jonathan Downie Adam Graham Tel Monks Mary Pearce Callum Robson Mary Shapiro Sheri Wells-Jensen, COMPTROLLER GENERAL Joey Whitford Stop Voicing Now! ... [ more ]

Speculative Grammarian Merchandise. Introduction. In order to lend a hand to our good friends and steadfast supporters over at the Linguist List during their 2006 fund drive, we prepared a small selection of limited edition SpecGram merchandise, including T-shirts, stickers and magnets. Originally these items were only available as prizes awarded as part of the Linguist List fund drive. In 2012, several of the SpecGram editors suffered from a rare form of collective frontal lobe damage, which made it seem like a good idea to put together a SpecGram book. The result in 2013 was The Speculative Grammarian Essential Guide to Linguistics. In 2014, Editor Mikael Thompson entered a deep fugue ... [ more ]

Why Linguistics is Not a Science. The SpecGram Editorial Board. In a couple of recent editorials we have answered several of the questions most frequently submitted by SpecGram readers. Since the publication of those editorials, by far the most common question received in our offices has been, “Could please furnish us with your bank account number so we can transfer payment to you?” We cannot in good conscience accede to this request, as it violates a number of constraints and therefore suffers from what we like to call “fatal infelicity.” Another frequent question, though, is more worthy of our attention, (though only due to its being fifth on the frequency list) and it is to that more ... [ more ]

The SpecGram Ministry of Propaganda. Welcome to the SpecGram Ministry of Propaganda. The SpecGram Archive Elves™ have undertaken a project to digitize and share a sheaf of early 20th century SpecGram propaganda posters, which were used during the Great Linguistic War and the Second Linguistic War to encourage linguists everywhere to keep a stiff upper lip and a sense of humor during those trying times. We provide the digitized posters here for you to enjoy, retrospect on, and share. Select a poster to see a higher quality image, and for links to share on social media, to email friends, and to view or download the highest quality version of the image. ... Read SpecGram Every Month! ... [ more ]

Cartoon Theories of Linguistics, Part E—Phonetics vs. Phonology. Hilário Parenchyma, C.Phil. Unintentional University of Lghtnbrgstn. We will skip the introduction, as we have been there, done that. Once more into the breach! For this installment in our series on Cartoon Theories of Linguistics, we will turn our attention to Phonetics and Phonology and the difference between the two: Phonetics:, ... Phonology:, ... Thanks to Professor Phlogiston, of the Unintentional University of Lghtnbrgstn, for the opportunity of a lifetime, as a student, to, on this occasion, share with so many of my fellow linguisticians my views, as illustrated above, concerning matters, which are of such immeasurable import ... [ more ]

Speculative Grammarian Volume CXCV, Number 2 Penultimate Issue Editor-in-Chief: Trey Jones; Executive Editors: Keith Slater, Mikael Thompson; Senior Editors: Jonathan Downie, Deak Kirkham, Vincent Fish; Contributing Editors: Pete Bleackley, Luca Dinu; Associate Editors: Yuval Wigderson, Daniel Swanson; Editorial Associates: Kenny Baclawski, Emily Davis, Gabriel Lanyi, Mark Mandel, Tel Monks; Comptroller General: Joey Whitford; All the Noise That’s Fit to Print; November 2025, ... [ more ]

IPA-to-ILPS Transcriber. by Daniel Swanson. Type International Phonetic Alphabet^* into the input box and get the corresponding Inter-Lingual Personal Script below. Or, handcraft individual consonants and vowels. See “Inter-Lingual Personal Script” (SpecGram CLXXXIX.2) for more information. Scale, Add IPA string Add Consonant Add Vowel — ^* Suprasegmentals and tones are not currently implemented. Some other parts of the IPA may also not be supported. ... [ more ]

Reconstructing the Proto-Indo-Europeans. Joseph Paul Stemberger. In the recent years, much attention has been given to the vocabulary of Proto-Indo-European (PIE). What words the PIE-ans did and did not have can tell us much. Benveniste (1973) discusses PIE kinship systems, economy and ways of life. In these studies, however, there is one very important area of the lexicon that has been neglected. No one has yet analyzed the terms for body parts to determine what the PIE-ans actually looked like. Most have probably assumed that they looked much like their descendants do today, but there is no empirical evidence supporting this assumption, and we really must attempt to verify or discredit it. At first ... [ more ]

Indo-European Crossword Puzzle No. 1. Complete the crossword by supplying the Indo-European root suggested by the reflexes glossed for each number, using forms given in Pokorny's Indogermanisches etymologisches Wörterbuch (1959). Treat aspirated (b^h, etc.) and labialized (k^u̯, etc.) stops as a single character. Omit marks of vowel length and accent, but distiguish palatal and velar stops, syllabics and non-syllabics, vowels and semi-vowels. The first one has been done for you. ACROSS, 1. Gk. ἔρεβος ‘underworld, darkness’ 5. Lat. angustus ‘narrow’ 9. Gk. μή ‘(that) ... [ more ]

In this study we explore how the linguist interacts with a wide range of structural variability by simulating not only the behavior of the trees themselves but also the behavior of the linguist. ... [ more ]

My Love is Like a Colorless Green Simile. by Rasmus Burns. O my love’s like a colorless green simile, That’s newly sprung from your lips. O my love’s like the rhythmic prosody, That gently sways your hips. As fair art thou, my bonnie lass, So deep in love am I. And I will love thee still my Dear, Tho’ all languages should die. Tho’ all languages should die, my Dear, And ev’ry speaker calm his tongue: I will love thee still, my Dear, Even tho’ the words have gone. And fare thee well, my Love, And fare thee well, a while!, And I will speak again, my Love, Tho’ it be only grunts and sighs. ... [ more ]

Psammeticus Press www.specgram.com/psammeticuspress/, Chiasmus of the Month Awards ... This somewhat irregular award is a sign of our recognition of and deep appreciation for the authors’ contribution to the upholding of decent writing standards in academic literature and to the dissemination of the finest of speech figures. Winners are selected for ~~each~~ ~~most~~ many issues by our Chiastic Editor and Editorial Chiasturge. The honorees to date are listed below. Chiasmus of the Month; November 2025, Todd Copeland, 2024, “A Figure of Speech and a Speechless Figure: Determinations of Identity in George Sand’s Indiana and Edith Wharton’s The House of ... [ more ]

与工以口 - 尺口爪凡以 — 凡仍巨十十巨尺与亡尺工尸十斤口尺巨以也乙工与廿. 巨乂巨亡凹十工立巨巨刀工十口尺片巨工十廿与乙凡十巨尺. 十廿巨巨以也乙工与廿与亡尺工尸十工与山凡丫十口口巨凡与丫 ... [ more ]

The SpecGram Quiz to End All Quizzes. ... Everyone makes Internet quizzes—even your three richest widowed aunts use their mite, if not their might, to bedazzle the gullible and amass those sweet, sweet clicks. So stand aside, ladies, SpecGram is on the ~~make~~ move! There’s a new quiz powerhouse in town, and since we don’t believe in planned obsolescence, you’ll never need nor want another!, Just answer these 17 handy-dandy mutually orthogonal questions to get the answers to all (or at least the 7 most important) of your burning questions. ... [ more ]

SPECULATIVE GRAMMARIAN, Volume CLV, Number 2; November 2008, MANAGING EDITOR, SENIOR EDITOR, EDITOR EMERITUS, Trey Jones, Keith Slater, Tim Pulju, Speculative Grammarian, Vol CLV, No 2, CONSULTING EDITORS, Ken Miner, David J. Peterson, Bill Spruiell, ASSOCIATE EDITORS: James Crippen, Madalena Cruz-Ferreira, Siva Kalyan, Idan Landau, Jouni Maho, Carin Marais, Daniela Müller, Peter Racz, Erin Taylor, Mikael Thompson, CONTRIBUTING EDITORS Kean Kaufmann, Joey Whitford, More plosive for your +Release, BECAUSE IT IS THERE ཇོ་མོ་གླང་མ, Džomolungma, ยอดเขาเอเวอเรสต์, ኤቨረስት ተራራ, جبل ... [ more ]

Are Turkish and Amharic Related? Are They Ever!. by, April May June, Freshman in Elementary Education, Indiana University at Bloomington. It is — "Because everyone uses language to talk, everyone thinks they can talk about language." --Johann Wolfgang von Goethe — well-known from my L103 class that Turkish and Amharic supposedly aren't related, though it is no longer clear which languages they are related to. However, I have found lots of words in the two languages which sound alike and mean the same thing in only two months of hearing them spoken in two local restaurants. The similarities first caught my attention during an argument at the Turkish restaurant in which the owner kept saying "sought." ... [ more ]

Psammeticus Motors, www.specgram.com/psammeticuspress/, Psammeticus Motors proudly presents... The Lingo!, A car designed for linguists... by linguists., ... The PM Lingo is the first affordable luxury automobile ever designed for linguists, by linguists. No one knows what a real linguist wants and needs in a car like the folks at Psammeticus Motors—more than just practical yet stylish transportation, the Lingo makes an important statement that only other linguists can fully understand—just like the best academic treatises. Stylish: The Lingo’s retro-chic typewriter-inspired body styling stands apart from the herd of cars driven ... [ more ]

CLASSIFIEDS. Lloyds of London solicits predictive wagers of the most gentlemanly sort (based only on coherent theoretical assumptions, naturally) regarding events of historical significance in the stately and majestic Field of Linguistics. SECOND-HAND BOOKS for the busy linguist. Never had time to actually read Chomsky’s Syntactic Structures, but ashamed to admit it? Our roughly used copies of Important Books come with ready-made underlinings, coffee stains, and torn pages. One look around your office and the tenure-review board will assume you’ve read them all thoroughly. If they didn’t ask, then you didn’t lie, did you? Call Second Hand Success at ... [ more ]

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