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1. Archives (25 visits)

SpecGram Archives. A word from our Senior Archivist, Holger Delbrück: While bringing aging media to the web and hence the world is truly a labor of love, SpecGram tries the passion of even the most ardent admirer. Needless to say, we’ve fallen behind schedule. At every turn, the authors found in the pages of this hallowed journal stretch credibility with their gratuitous font mongering—first it was the IPA, then a few non-standard transcription systems, then Greek, and not just the alphabet, but the entire diacritical mess, and now I’ve got some god-forsaken Old Church Slavonic glyph sitting on my desk that no one can even name, and which would give the Unicode Consortium ... [ more ]


2. Ministry of Propaganda (18 visits)

The SpecGram Ministry of Propaganda. Welcome to the SpecGram Ministry of Propaganda. The SpecGram Archive Elves™ have undertaken a project to digitize and share a sheaf of early 20th century SpecGram propaganda posters, which were used during the Great Linguistic War and the Second Linguistic War to encourage linguists everywhere to keep a stiff upper lip and a sense of humor during those trying times. We provide the digitized posters here for you to enjoy, retrospect on, and share. Select a poster to see a higher quality image, and for links to share on social media, to email friends, and to view or download the highest quality version of the image. ... Read SpecGram Every Month! ... [ more ]


3. Merchandise (17 visits)

Speculative Grammarian Merchandise. Introduction. In order to lend a hand to our good friends and steadfast supporters over at the Linguist List during their 2006 fund drive, we prepared a small selection of limited edition SpecGram merchandise, including T-shirts, stickers and magnets. Originally these items were only available as prizes awarded as part of the Linguist List fund drive. In 2012, several of the SpecGram editors suffered from a rare form of collective frontal lobe damage, which made it seem like a good idea to put together a SpecGram book. The result in 2013 was The Speculative Grammarian Essential Guide to Linguistics. In 2014, Editor Mikael Thompson entered a deep fugue ... [ more ]


4. Vol CLXV, No 4 (14 visits)

SPECULATIVE GRAMMARIAN, Volume CLXV, Number 4; October 2012, MANAGING EDITOR Trey Jones SENIOR EDITOR Keith Slater EDITOR EMERITUS Tim Pulju Speculative Grammarian, Vol CLXV, No 4 CONSULTING EDITORS David J. Peterson Bill Spruiell, ASSOCIATE EDITORS Madalena Cruz-Ferreira Daniela Müller Mikael Thompson, EDITORIAL ASSOCIATES Cem Bozsahin Florian Breit Jonathan Downie Adam Graham Tel Monks Mary Pearce Callum Robson Mary Shapiro Sheri Wells-Jensen, COMPTROLLER GENERAL Joey Whitford Stop Voicing Now! ... [ more ]


5. Occam’s Safety Razor™ by Gillette—Advertisement (8 visits)

ADVERTISEMENT This issue of Speculative Grammarian is brought to you by... Occam’s Safety Razor™ by Gillette. ... Occam’s Safety Razor™ comes in BA, MA, and PhD Candidate models. Occam’s Safety Razor™— Simply Safe. Good News, Faculty!, A tenure-track model is now in development. Pre-order yours today! Accept no substitutes! ... [ more ]


6. Pseudo-Psiblings™—And Other Views of Multiply-Blended Families—Trey Jones (7 visits)

Pseudo-Psiblings™ And Other Views of Multiply-Blended Families. A proposal for improving and clarifying family nomenclature for the 21st century. by Trey Jones. Introduction. Language evolves—otherwise we’d all be able to read Beowulf in the original, right? Sometimes language changes in response to cultural changes. But sometimes it doesn’t change fast enough to keep up with cultural changes. This paper seeks to give English a little push in a much-needed direction. There has been a fairly radical change in Western society in the last hundred years or so. It used to be that if a woman was on her fourth husband, one automatically felt a little sorry for ... [ more ]


7. The Library of Never-Written Books, Part II—Beebly O’Gnost & Libby R. Arian (7 visits)

The Library of Never-Written Books, Part II. compiled by, Beebly O’Gnost & Libby R. Arian, Bibliothēca Obscūra, Novigrad. For the amusement of the readers of Speculative Grammarian, we have compiled a list of the many non-existent, never-written linguistics and linguistics-adjacent books that our patrons have tried to borrow, put on hold, or acquire through interlibrary loan. (See also, Part I.) We’re not sure what this peek into the collective unconscious of academics and scholars of language says about them—whether these titles are tomes half-forgotten or pranks they fell for—but it must be something deep. Lessons in Phonetics From ... [ more ]


8. Psammeticus Press (6 visits)

Psammeticus Press www.specgram.com/psammeticuspress/, BOOKS, SERIES, and MORE The following valuable volumes, spectacular series, and interesting items have been released with pride by Psammeticus Press, an academic publishing house founded in honor of the first and purest of linguistic inquirers: one might criticize his methods, but who could quibble with his results? Follow the links below to learn more about these fabulous books and excellent series, each destined to become a classic in the field. Warehouse Moving Sale We’ve lost the lease on our warehouse and anything we can’t sell we have to move—or rent interns from Speculative Grammarian to do it—and that’s expensive! Help us out and buy a ... [ more ]


9. The Speculative Grammarian Essential Guide to Linguistics (6 visits)

The Speculative Grammarian Essential Guide to Linguistics . For decades, Speculative Grammarian has been the premier scholarly journal featuring research in the neglected field of satirical linguistics—and now it is available in book form—both physical and electronic! We wish we were kidding,1 but no, seriously, we’ve published a large3 collection of SpecGram articles, along with just enough new material to force obsessive collectors and fans to buy it, regardless of the cost.4 From the Introduction: The past twenty-five years have witnessed many changes in linguistics, with major developments in linguistic theory, significant expansion ... [ more ]


10. Psammeticus Press—Chiasmus of the Month Awards (5 visits)

Psammeticus Press www.specgram.com/psammeticuspress/, Chiasmus of the Month Awards ... This somewhat irregular award is a sign of our recognition of and deep appreciation for the authors’ contribution to the upholding of decent writing standards in academic literature and to the dissemination of the finest of speech figures. Winners are selected for each most many issues by our Chiastic Editor and Editorial Chiasturge. The honorees to date are listed below. Chiasmus of the Month; November 2025, Todd Copeland, 2024, “A Figure of Speech and a Speechless Figure: Determinations of Identity in George Sand’s Indiana and Edith Wharton’s The House of ... [ more ]


11. “Interpretez seront les extipices”—On the Correct Interpretation of Nostradamus—Part the Third—Roger Prentiss Claremont (5 visits)

“Interpretez seront les extipices”, On the Correct Interpretation of Nostradamus, Part the Third. by Roger Prentiss Claremont, Independent Sovereign Scholar. In Parts the First and Second of this series, we discussed the basis of our new interpretation of the prophetic verses of Michel de Nostredame (1503-1566), usually known as Nostradamus. His verses have eluded definitive interpretation for several centuries, and this series shows that that is because earlier interpretations made the basic error of assuming his verses were in French. In fact, they are better interpreted as English encoded in French. This part shall complete the task of interpretation of selected verses, after which we shall turn ... [ more ]


12. Hey Linguists! (5 visits)

Hey Linguists!—Get Them to Get You a Copy of The Speculative Grammarian Essential Guide to Linguistics . Hey Linguists! Do you know why it is better to give than to receive? Because giving requires a lot more work! You have to know what someone likes, what someone wants, who someone is, to get them a proper, thoughtful gift. That sounds like a lot of work. No, wait. That’s not right. It’s actually more work to be the recipient—if you are going to do it right. You can’t just trust people to know what you like, what you want, who you are. You could try to help your loved ones understand a linguist’s needs and wants and desires—but ... [ more ]


13. Podcast—Language Made Difficult, Vol. XIX (4 visits)

Language Made Difficult, Vol. XIX — The SpecGram LingNerds are joined by guest Madalena Cruz-Ferreira for Lies, Damned Lies, and Linguistics. They also discuss the fact that German speakers can’t say “squirrel” and whether “modulo” is the nerdiest preposition. Finally, they give more Prescriptivist Confessions. ... [ listen ]


14. Grey Duck or Goose?—Mapping variation in a children’s game in Minnesota—Sven Slater and Ollie Bickford (4 visits)

Speculative Grammarian Youth Research Focus is proud to bring you the finest language-related research by the world’s school-aged youth. Grey Duck or Goose?, Mapping variation in a children’s game in Minnesota. Fifth Grade Science Fair Project, by Sven Slater and Ollie Bickford, J. O. Nelson Public School, St. Cloud, Minnesota, USA. Research Question. Last year, a new kid named Tyler P. joined our fourth grade class. Tyler was from Illinois or some other southern state, and she told us that down there kids play “duck, duck, goose,” instead of “duck, duck, grey duck” like we do here in Minnesota. We thought this was strange, even for the South, but then we ... [ more ] Podcast! Book!


15. Reviews in Linguistic Historiography: Mary Shelley, Frankenstein—Хөөмийн Гийлгүүлэгч (4 visits)

Reviews in Linguistic Historiography: Mary Shelley, Frankenstein. by, Хөөмийн Гийлгүүлэгч Associate Professor, Department of the History of Science. Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein has been famous ever since its publication in 1818 as a vividly related medical-scientific case study, so much so that its significance in the history of medicine has far overshadowed its importance in linguistics. Indeed, its crucial role in medical history has led to its extremely wide currency in popular portrayals of medical research,1 while its neglect by linguistic historiographers is only matched by its ... [ more ]


16. Good Enough for Folk Etymology—Part XII—A. Pocryphal & Verity du Bius (4 visits)

Good Enough for Folk Etymology— Part XII. A. Pocryphal & Verity du Bius, X. Quizzit Korps Center for Advanced Collaborative Studies. The SpecGram Archive Elves recently made another large collection of documents available to the XQK Directorate, leaving them on our doorstep in black plastic sacks in the middle of the night. In order to avoid any more unfortunate incidents involving a cucumber, a marmot, or the Director’s favorite coffee mug, we were given the task of cataloging these documents. Going through the collection, we have found again that, while apparently lacking provenance (which the Archive Elves still attribute to a bizarre set of circumstances ... [ more ]


17. On Powerful Linguistic Theories—SpecGram Wire Services (4 visits)

On Powerful Linguistic Theories. SpecGram Wire Services. Science Journalist: What’s the most powerful linguistic theory? Professor: Mine. Assistant Professor: Whatever the funders ask for. Grad Student: My professor’s. Recent Graduate: Anything but my professor ... [ more ]


18. The Chiasmus Linguistics Project—Book Series Announcement from Psammeticus Press (4 visits)

Psammeticus Press, www.specgram.com/psammeticuspress/, NEW BOOK SERIES The Chiasmus Linguistics Project, presented by Psammeticus Textbooks in Linguistics, Inspired by William O. Hendricks’ 1976 classic Grammars of style and styles of grammar, Psammeticus Press presents The Chiasmus Linguistics Project, which offers important, cleverly titled books on a wide variety of meaningful linguistic topics in linguistically meaningful fields that vary as widely as the books which both are titled so cleverly and are so important. Recent titles include: The Foundations of Morphology and the Morphology of Foundations: An exploratory exploration, by Teresa Anna Garcia Lopez and Ana Theresa Lopes ... [ more ]


19. A Primer in SF Xenolinguistics—Justin B. Rye (4 visits)

A Primer in, SF Xenolinguistics. - eep opp ork ah-ah -, Justin B. Rye. — - ash nazg durbatulûk -, Table of Contents. Fantasy Exotic Tongues—An Introduction, Let’s Speak Alien—In Ten Easy Lessons, The Unspeakable—And The Unthinkable, Universal Translators—A Buyer’s Guide, CETI for Beginners—Little Green Manuals — - borag thungg -, FANTASY EXOTIC TONGUES—An Introduction. If you’ve reached the online version of this article chasing the search-string “ +fantasy +exotic +tongues ” then I’m afraid you’ve probably come to ... [ more ]


20. Vol CLXXI, No 3 (4 visits)

Speculative Grammarian Volume CLXXI, Number 3 ... Trey Jones, Editor-in-Chief; Keith Slater, Executive Editor; Bill Spruiell, Senior Editor, Sheri Wells-Jensen, Consulting Editor; Associate Editors: Pete Bleackley, Madalena Cruz-Ferreira, Jonathan Downie, Mikael Thompson; Assistant Editors: Virginia Bouchard, Florian Breit; Editorial Associates: Cem Bozsahin, Bethany Carlson, Steve Dodson, Mark Mandel, Tel Monks, Daniela Müller, Tuuli Mustasydän, Callum Robson, Yuval Wigderson; Joey Whitford, Comptroller General; Ἡ γλῶσσα πολλῶν ἐστιν αἰτια κακῶν; November 2014 ... [ more ]


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Last updated Mar. 11, 2026.