Most Popular Pages—Today

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1. Merchandise (19 visits)

Speculative Grammarian Merchandise. Introduction. In order to lend a hand to our good friends and steadfast supporters over at the Linguist List during their 2006 fund drive, we prepared a small selection of limited edition SpecGram merchandise, including T-shirts, stickers and magnets. Originally these items were only available as prizes awarded as part of the Linguist List fund drive. In 2012, several of the SpecGram editors suffered from a rare form of collective frontal lobe damage, which made it seem like a good idea to put together a SpecGram book. The result in 2013 was The Speculative Grammarian Essential Guide to Linguistics. In 2014, Editor Mikael Thompson entered a deep fugue ... [ more ]


2. Archives (18 visits)

SpecGram Archives. A word from our Senior Archivist, Holger Delbrück: While bringing aging media to the web and hence the world is truly a labor of love, SpecGram tries the passion of even the most ardent admirer. Needless to say, we’ve fallen behind schedule. At every turn, the authors found in the pages of this hallowed journal stretch credibility with their gratuitous font mongering—first it was the IPA, then a few non-standard transcription systems, then Greek, and not just the alphabet, but the entire diacritical mess, and now I’ve got some god-forsaken Old Church Slavonic glyph sitting on my desk that no one can even name, and which would give the Unicode Consortium ... [ more ]


3. Vol CLXV, No 4 (13 visits)

SPECULATIVE GRAMMARIAN, Volume CLXV, Number 4; October 2012, MANAGING EDITOR Trey Jones SENIOR EDITOR Keith Slater EDITOR EMERITUS Tim Pulju Speculative Grammarian, Vol CLXV, No 4 CONSULTING EDITORS David J. Peterson Bill Spruiell, ASSOCIATE EDITORS Madalena Cruz-Ferreira Daniela Müller Mikael Thompson, EDITORIAL ASSOCIATES Cem Bozsahin Florian Breit Jonathan Downie Adam Graham Tel Monks Mary Pearce Callum Robson Mary Shapiro Sheri Wells-Jensen, COMPTROLLER GENERAL Joey Whitford Stop Voicing Now! ... [ more ]


4. Point: Why Linguistics is Not a Science—Alpberta Cedium-Ndelemeiyerov (7 visits)

Point: Why Linguistics is Not a Science. [Editor’s Note: This opinion piece is the first of a contrasting pair discussing the relationship between Linguistics and Science. The opposing piece will run in the next issue of SpecGram.] While many have claimed, and probably rightly so, that Linguistics suffers from a bad case of Physics Envy, it is Mathematics, the Queen of the Sciences, which is best suited to provide a role model for bringing some sorely needed rigor to the field. Any practicing mathematician will speak of the crucial role intuition plays in the formulation of ideas--the mysterious spark, the gut feeling, the leap of faith that points the way to a difficult but elegant theorem ... [ more ]


5. Ministry of Propaganda (7 visits)

The SpecGram Ministry of Propaganda. Welcome to the SpecGram Ministry of Propaganda. The SpecGram Archive Elves™ have undertaken a project to digitize and share a sheaf of early 20th century SpecGram propaganda posters, which were used during the Great Linguistic War and the Second Linguistic War to encourage linguists everywhere to keep a stiff upper lip and a sense of humor during those trying times. We provide the digitized posters here for you to enjoy, retrospect on, and share. Select a poster to see a higher quality image, and for links to share on social media, to email friends, and to view or download the highest quality version of the image. ... Read SpecGram Every Month! ... [ more ]


6. The Speculative Grammarian Essential Guide to Linguistics (6 visits)

The Speculative Grammarian Essential Guide to Linguistics . For decades, Speculative Grammarian has been the premier scholarly journal featuring research in the neglected field of satirical linguistics—and now it is available in book form—both physical and electronic! We wish we were kidding,1 but no, seriously, we’ve published a large3 collection of SpecGram articles, along with just enough new material to force obsessive collectors and fans to buy it, regardless of the cost.4 From the Introduction: The past twenty-five years have witnessed many changes in linguistics, with major developments in linguistic theory, significant expansion ... [ more ]


7. Linguistic Cocktails—The SpecGram Mixologists (6 visits)

Linguistic Cocktails Prepared and extensively taste-tested, by the SpecGram Mixologists. Interest in cocktails has had a resurgence lately, with people trying new combinations and reviving forgotten blends. We shouldn’t forget the long history the grand subfield of Mixological Linguistics has. Below is a mix of old favorites and new delights. The Newmeyer 1 martini, dry, with olive 1 gin and tonic ... Disparage the martini vigorously for ten to twenty years, arguing that no real establishment should serve it. Urge everyone to drink gin and tonic (“the one true cocktail”) instead. Redefine “gin and tonic” so that it can refer to lots of things other than a cocktail that has gin in ... [ more ] Podcast!


8. Vol CXCIV, No 1 (5 visits)

Speculative Grammarian Volume CXCIV, Number 1 Editor-in-Chief: Trey Jones; Executive Editors: Keith Slater, Mikael Thompson; Senior Editors: Jonathan Downie, Deak Kirkham; Contributing Editors: Pete Bleackley, Vincent Fish; Associate Editors: Luca Dinu, Yuval Wigderson, Daniel Swanson; Editorial Associates: Emily Davis, Andrew Lamont, Mark Mandel, Tel Monks, Nina Sloan; Comptroller General: Joey Whitford; Greek Loves Plural Formations Like God Loves Beetles; July 2024, ... [ more ]


9. Psammeticus Press—Chiasmus of the Month Awards (5 visits)

Psammeticus Press www.specgram.com/psammeticuspress/, Chiasmus of the Month Awards ... This somewhat irregular award is a sign of our recognition of and deep appreciation for the authors’ contribution to the upholding of decent writing standards in academic literature and to the dissemination of the finest of speech figures. Winners are selected for each most many issues by our Chiastic Editor and Editorial Chiasturge. The honorees to date are listed below. Chiasmus of the Month; November 2025, Todd Copeland, 2024, “A Figure of Speech and a Speechless Figure: Determinations of Identity in George Sand’s Indiana and Edith Wharton’s The House of ... [ more ]


10. How to Use the Comparative Method for Fun and Profit—Al Tayo-Nostradamus, Esq. (5 visits)

How to Use the Comparative Method for Fun and Profit, Al Tayo-Nostradamus, Esq.. The comparative method is one of the most powerful tools ever developed by historical linguists. With the comparative method, you can take any two languages, determine whether they are related, and reconstruct their common ancestor, thus incontrovertibly cementing your reputation as the discoverer of the Italo-Turkic language family. But enough about me. The point is, the comparative method can—besides helping you further your scientific goals, as well as your academic and professional goals (which may or may not overlap with your scientific goals)—elevate you above the masses and make you one of the linguist ... [ more ]


11. JLSSCNC—Vol I, No 2—World of Language (4 visits)

World of Language. The Journal of the Linguistic Society of South-Central New Caledonia. Volume I, Number 2. February 1991. World of Language: The Journal of the Linguistic Society of South-Central New Caledonia, ... [ more ]


12. Lingua Pranca—Linguistic Contributions To The Formal Theory Of Big-Game Hunting—R. Mathiesen (4 visits)

Linguistic Contributions To The Formal Theory Of Big-Game Hunting1. R. Mathiesen, Brown University. The Mathematical Theory of Big-Game Hunting must surely be ranked among the major scientific achievements of the twentieth century. That this is so is largely the work of one man, H. Pétard, in whose fundamental paper (1938) certain recent advances in mathematics and physics were employed with great skill to create a theory of unmatched—not to say unmatchable!—power and elegance. One must not, of course, dismiss Pétard’s predecessors totally out of hand: the field had a long and distinguished history as a technology, was raised to the rank of a science by the ... [ more ] Podcast!


13. The SpecGram Quiz to End All Quizzes (4 visits)

The SpecGram Quiz to End All Quizzes. ... Everyone makes Internet quizzes—even your three richest widowed aunts use their mite, if not their might, to bedazzle the gullible and amass those sweet, sweet clicks. So stand aside, ladies, SpecGram is on the make move! There’s a new quiz powerhouse in town, and since we don’t believe in planned obsolescence, you’ll never need nor want another!, Just answer these 17 handy-dandy mutually orthogonal questions to get the answers to all (or at least the 7 most important) of your burning questions. ... [ more ]


14. Why Linguistics is Not a Science—The SpecGram Editorial Board (4 visits)

Why Linguistics is Not a Science. The SpecGram Editorial Board. In a couple of recent editorials we have answered several of the questions most frequently submitted by SpecGram readers. Since the publication of those editorials, by far the most common question received in our offices has been, “Could please furnish us with your bank account number so we can transfer payment to you?” We cannot in good conscience accede to this request, as it violates a number of constraints and therefore suffers from what we like to call “fatal infelicity.” Another frequent question, though, is more worthy of our attention, (though only due to its being fifth on the frequency list) and it is to that more ... [ more ]


15. /hʌnikom pʌzəl/—Ulfheðnar ber Sarkur (4 visits)

/hʌnikom pʌzəl/. Ulfheðnar ber Sarkur. Here is an amusing little puzzle to pass the time as we wait for spring to arrive in the Northern hemisphere. The bees have taken the notion of “proverbial honey” a little too literally! They have plucked a quote’s string of pollen-covered phonemes out of the air and embedded it into their honeycomb. The bees have placed the phonemes in contiguous honeycomb cells in their original order, but without any other obvious rhyme or reason—perhaps it makes sense to one who is fluent in Waggle Dance? Perhaps not. Can you extract the original phonological string? If you’ve figured out the answer, submit your ... [ more ]


16. Hu ða Æþelingas? or, Who are the Linguists?—A “Monolingual” Analysis—by B. E. O’Wulf (4 visits)

Hu ða Æþelingas? or, Who are the Linguists?, A “Monolingual” Analysis. by B. E. O’Wulf, International Linguist-Man of Mystery. I have recently come into contact with what appears to be a very, very conservative dialect of English, spoken in a small town in England. I searched the internet for several minutes and did not find an obvious references to the dialect, so I assume I am the first to study it. I did stumble across references to Kenneth Pike’s so-called “monolingual demonstrations” and I thought to myself, “Hey, I could do that!” So I did. After spending about thirty minutes with several speakers, I was able to record and translate part of a story ... [ more ]


17. Vol CXCV, No 2 (4 visits)

Speculative Grammarian Volume CXCV, Number 2 Penultimate Issue Editor-in-Chief: Trey Jones; Executive Editors: Keith Slater, Mikael Thompson; Senior Editors: Jonathan Downie, Deak Kirkham, Vincent Fish; Contributing Editors: Pete Bleackley, Luca Dinu; Associate Editors: Yuval Wigderson, Daniel Swanson; Editorial Associates: Kenny Baclawski, Emily Davis, Gabriel Lanyi, Mark Mandel, Tel Monks; Comptroller General: Joey Whitford; All the Noise That’s Fit to Print; November 2025, ... [ more ]


18. Son of Lingua Pranca (4 visits)

Son of Lingua Pranca. T. Ernst & E. Smith, Editors. Indiana University. IULC. November 1979. ... edging edging edging edging edging edging edging edging edging edging edging edging edging edging edging edging edging edging edging edging edging edging, ... Son of, ^ Lingua, ... Pranca, ... fleur ... T. Ernst & E. Smith, eds. ... indiana university, ... i u linguistics club, ... [ more ]


19. Recursive Processing: An Anthropological Linguistic Study of the Benhirloŋtam—Claude Searsplainpockets (4 visits)

Speculative Grammarian is proud to present yet another irregular installment in the Linguistic Anthropologic Monograph Endowment's Bizarre Grammars of the World Series. Recursive Processing: An Anthropological, Linguistic Study of the Benhirloŋtam0, Bizarre Grammars of the World, Vol. 55. Background, The Benhirloŋtam live in a world that can best be described as fractal. The mountain range visible on the horizon is oddly regular, and any piece of it looks like a smaller version of the whole thing. A sketch is shown in Figure 1 below: ... Figure 1. A sketch of mountains visible from the village. The Benhirloŋtam build their homes in four triangular parts, connected to form ... [ more ]


20. Psammeticus Press (4 visits)

Psammeticus Press www.specgram.com/psammeticuspress/, BOOKS, SERIES, and MORE The following valuable volumes, spectacular series, and interesting items have been released with pride by Psammeticus Press, an academic publishing house founded in honor of the first and purest of linguistic inquirers: one might criticize his methods, but who could quibble with his results? Follow the links below to learn more about these fabulous books and excellent series, each destined to become a classic in the field. Retractions, Rejections and Reconstructions: The Multiply Integrated Lives of Linguistics Texts by Speculative Grammarian Retextualization Editor Reid Rafft Published 2025. 2,328 pages When it comes to texts ... [ more ]


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Last updated Jan. 31, 2026.