SpecGram—Most Popular Pages

French Love, Poodles and Google Translate: A New Methodology to Build Language Families. Isabelle Tellier. There are many legends about Machine Translation. One of the most famous states that, in its first age in the fifties, when for obvious Cold War reasons it focused on English-Russian translations, an artificial device provided with the (biblical) sentence “The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak” was asked to translate it into Russian and then back into English and gave “The vodka is strong but the meat is rotten”. Another similar one evokes the sentence “Out of sight, out of mind” which, translated into Chinese (or Japanese) and then back into English, supposedly became ... [ more ]

On the Proto-Indo-European Origin of ‘Twerk’. Mark Butcher & Mark Candlestick-Maker, Department of PIE Studies, Pecan University. A common question asked of linguists these days, to our collective dismay, is “What is the etymology of ‘twerk’?”¹ Twerking is a dance craze with respectable origins in the New Orleans bounce music scene,² but it has enraged millions in recent years for reasons we would rather avoid writing about. Several authors have speculated that the term is a clipping of ‘footwork’ or a portmanteau of ‘twist’ and ‘jerk’³ (foolish speculation, we know). We will make the case that the word is of ... [ more ]

Point: Why Linguistics is Not a Science. [Editor’s Note: This opinion piece is the first of a contrasting pair discussing the relationship between Linguistics and Science. The opposing piece will run in the next issue of SpecGram.] While many have claimed, and probably rightly so, that Linguistics suffers from a bad case of Physics Envy, it is Mathematics, the Queen of the Sciences, which is best suited to provide a role model for bringing some sorely needed rigor to the field. Any practicing mathematician will speak of the crucial role intuition plays in the formulation of ideas--the mysterious spark, the gut feeling, the leap of faith that points the way to a difficult but elegant theorem ... [ more ]

The SpecGram Ministry of Propaganda. Welcome to the SpecGram Ministry of Propaganda. The SpecGram Archive Elves™ have undertaken a project to digitize and share a sheaf of early 20th century SpecGram propaganda posters, which were used during the Great Linguistic War and the Second Linguistic War to encourage linguists everywhere to keep a stiff upper lip and a sense of humor during those trying times. We provide the digitized posters here for you to enjoy, retrospect on, and share. Select a poster to see a higher quality image, and for links to share on social media, to email friends, and to view or download the highest quality version of the image. ... Read SpecGram Every Month! ... [ more ]

The Speculative Grammarian Essential Guide to Linguistics . For decades, Speculative Grammarian has been the premier scholarly journal featuring research in the neglected field of satirical linguistics—and now it is available in book form—both physical and electronic! We wish we were kidding,¹ but no, seriously, we’ve published a large³ collection of SpecGram articles, along with just enough new material to force obsessive collectors and fans to buy it, regardless of the cost.⁴ From the Introduction: The past twenty-five years have witnessed many changes in linguistics, with major developments in linguistic theory, significant expansion ... [ more ]

The SpecGram Quiz to End All Quizzes. ... Everyone makes Internet quizzes—even your three richest widowed aunts use their mite, if not their might, to bedazzle the gullible and amass those sweet, sweet clicks. So stand aside, ladies, SpecGram is on the ~~make~~ move! There’s a new quiz powerhouse in town, and since we don’t believe in planned obsolescence, you’ll never need nor want another!, Just answer these 17 handy-dandy mutually orthogonal questions to get the answers to all (or at least the 7 most important) of your burning questions. ... [ more ]

Rasmus Rask Zigzag Puzzle XX. by Lila Rosa Grau. This is the twentieth Rasmus Rask puzzle, devoted to the original Mr. Charming Scandinavian Linguist. The puzzle is similar to a crossword puzzle, in that there is a grid for filling in words and phrases, and clues for the ACROSS and DOWN directions. However, all the squares in a Rasmus Rask puzzle are filled with letters, and the answers to the clues may (but are not required to) overlap. Clues for a particular row or column are given together, in the order they appear in the grid. No indication of the amount of overlap between clues is given. Letters spelling out RASMUS RASK zigzag down the grid to provide a framework for filling in the answers. The ... [ more ]

Hey Linguists!—Get Them to Get You a Copy of The Speculative Grammarian Essential Guide to Linguistics . Hey Linguists! Do you know why it is better to give than to receive? Because giving requires a lot more work! You have to know what someone likes, what someone wants, who someone is, to get them a proper, thoughtful gift. That sounds like a lot of work. No, wait. That’s not right. It’s actually more work to be the recipient—if you are going to do it right. You can’t just trust people to know what you like, what you want, who you are. You could try to help your loved ones understand a linguist’s needs and wants and desires—but ... [ more ]

Оrthоgraрhіc Perрlехer. Welcome to the Speculative Grammarian Оrthοɡrаphіс Ρerplехеr! This not-quite-pointless little tool will munge your text, randomly replacing some characters with homoglyphs that are nearly identical¹—or at least quite reasonably similar to the untrained eye. Why? To make text both very hard and very easy to find via normal search (try to find “οrthoɡrарhіс реrрleхer” on this page, for example); to confuse and amaze your friends and enemies alike;⁶ to pass the time in a ... [ more ]

Systematic Suppletion: An Investigation of Ksotre Case Marking. By Lawrence R. Muddybanks, Ph.D.. Introduction Little research has been done on the Ksotre language of northern Lithuania, and that which has been done has been rather unenlightening.¹ The present paper aims to not only expand the body of research on the Ksotre language, but also to introduce a phenomenon found, thus far, in no other natural language on Earth. Without further ado, then, I present the case marking system of Ksotre. Case in Ksotre Ksotre has fourteen cases and three numbers, as shown below: Number: singular, dual, plural Grammatical Cases: nominative, accusative, partitive, genitive, dative, instrumental, Мој ... [ more ]

SPECULATIVE GRAMMARIAN, Black Leather Issue, Volume CL, Number 2; April 2005, Special Interactive 3D content, Speculative Grammarian, Vol CL, No 2, MANAGING EDITOR, Trey Jones, EDITOR EMERITUS, Tim Pulju, SENIOR EDITOR, Keith Slater, ASSOCIATE EDITORS: Bryan Allen, Mark de Vries, Martin Hilpert, Edward Johnson, Steven Lulich, Sheila McCann, Jamin Pelkey, Mikael Thompson, Bill Spruiell, Rob van der Sandt, Joey Whitford, There is no spoon. ... [ more ]

Towards a Detailed Biochemistry of Innate Mental Structures: Consequences of an OT Approach to the Contemporary Novel. by, Mongo Yalbag, Independent Scholar¹. One of the many innumerable benefits of the Chomskyan revolution is that we can see clearly that everything in the human mind is synthetic a priori, except for the parts that are analytic a priori. As the great man (pax eocum) himself has stated, even the concept of “carburetor” is innate. Besides the fascinating fact that both UG and the concept “UG” are therefore innate,² this has deafening repercussions for the less well-endowed humanities. In particular, it has been stated that there are only seven ... [ more ]

Prevent Sad Holiday Linguists—Get Them a Copy of The Speculative Grammarian Essential Guide to Linguistics . Every holiday season, countless linguists have their celebrations ruined by thoughtless gifts given by clueless loved ones. They say it’s the thought that counts, but we know that’s only true if that thought is accompanied by at least some tiny semblance of awareness of a linguist’s hopes, dreams, and aspirations. We could try to explain those hopes and dreams and aspirations to you—but we’d have to give you a mini course on phonetics, phonology, and voice onset time first. Instead, we can assure you that SpecGram has the right gift for your linguist loved ... [ more ]

Language Made Difficult, Vol. XL — The SpecGram LingNerds are joined yet again by returning guest Madalena Cruz-Ferreira. After some Lies, Damned Lies, and Linguistics, the LingNerds discuss Twitter Tribes and why biologists shouldn't do corpus linguistics, and then make a number of particularly humorous prescriptivist confessions. ... [ listen ]

Speculative Grammarian and SpecGram.com. Our Story. The august journal Speculative Grammarian has a long, rich, and varied history, weaving an intricate and subtle tapestry from disparate strands of linguistics, philology, history, politics, science, technology, botany, pharmacokinetics, computer science, the mathematics of humor, basket weaving, archery, glass blowing, roller coaster design, and bowling, among numerous other, less obvious fields. SpecGram, as it is known to devotees and sworn enemies alike, has for centuries sought to bring together the greatest yet least understood minds of the time, embedding itself firmly in the cultural and psychological matrix of the global society while ... [ more ]

SpecGram Books. A number of books and book-like entities (including various monographs) have come into existence in and around Speculative Grammarian over the years. Here we’ve collected links to all of their digital and corporeal manifestations in one place for your convenience. ... The Splendid Words, by James S. Pasto,; January 2019 The tale of a man obsessed, driven by a hunger and thirst to uncover—he knows not what! Far past reason, he has hunted and hated, been haunted and humiliated. Now his search has borne fruit—discover whether it is bitter or sweet! Available to read online. ... The History of Rome, by Tim Pulju; July 2018 Speculative ... [ more ]

SPECULATIVE GRAMMARIAN, Canadian Edition Volume CLI, Number 3; July 2006, Speculative Grammarian, Vol CLI, No 3, dx, = x(α - βy), dy, = -y(γ - δx), ... dt, dt, SPECIAL GUEST EDITOR Sheri Wells-Jensen, MANAGING EDITOR, Trey Jones, SENIOR EDITOR, Keith Slater, EDITOR EMERITUS, Tim Pulju, ASSOCIATE EDITORS: Bryan Allen, Adam Baker, Daniel Currie Hall, Martin Hilpert, Damon Lord, Steven Lulich, Kean Kaufmann, David Mead, Sheila McCann, Ken Miner, Jamin Pelkey, David J. Peterson, Mikael Thompson, Bill Spruiell, Rita Watson, Joey Whitford, ... [ more ]

Psammeticus Press www.specgram.com/psammeticuspress/, BOOKS, SERIES, and MORE The following valuable volumes, spectacular series, and interesting items have been released with pride by Psammeticus Press, an academic publishing house founded in honor of the first and purest of linguistic inquirers: one might criticize his methods, but who could quibble with his results? Follow the links below to learn more about these fabulous books and excellent series, each destined to become a classic in the field. Warehouse Moving Sale We’ve lost the lease on our warehouse and anything we can’t sell we have to move—or rent interns from Speculative Grammarian to do it—and that’s expensive! Help us out and buy a ... [ more ]

SPECULATIVE GRAMMARIAN, —in association with—, PSAMMETICUS PRESS, —is proud to present a special supplemental monograph—, Volume CLIX, Number θ ; August 2010, A Primer in, SF Xenolinguistics. by Justin B. Rye. ... MANAGING EDITOR, Trey Jones, EDITOR EMERITUS, Tim Pulju, SENIOR EDITOR, Keith Slater, ... [ more ]

The Speculative Grammarian AutoGrammatikon™ Quasi-Universal Translator℠. On several occasions, mention has been made of the AutoGrammatikon™ Quasi-Universal Translator℠ in the pages of SpecGram; in the current epoch, these references date back as early as at least 2004.¹ In the following years there have been denials,² mentions,³ more⁴ mentions,⁵ leaked internal documents,⁶ and even some early oral history⁷ (accompanied as it was by additional denials). Throughout this time the consistent official stance of the Editorial board of SpecGram has been to deny that the AutoGrammatikon™ exists, ... [ more ]

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